With Child
by SilenceintheLibrary13
Summary: This is a companion story to "Beyond the Shadows" that follows Maura's pregnancy and ties it in to events from Season 6, with some added details. Just something entertaining for people who enjoyed "Beyond the Shadows" and wanted to see more of Pregnant Maura!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Well, we have the whole afternoon off," Maura said brightly. "Is there anything you want to do?"

"The Sox are playing this afternoon," Jane said immediately. "Can we go home and watch the first few innings?"

Maura smiled. "Of course we can."

They were leaving work early that day because Maura was getting another embryo transfer done that afternoon, their third since starting the IVF process a few months earlier. They still had a couple hours to kill, and Jane would have been happy to work right up until the time of the appointment so she could keep her mind off the procedure, but Maura thought it made more sense to just take the entire afternoon off. At least she was letting Jane choose what to do with their extra time.

After they got home, Maura snuggled up to Jane on the couch while their wedding venue lit up the plasma television. Jane tried to push her nervousness about the embryo transfer aside and just enjoy the short time she had to rest. _This is just about as good as it gets_ , she thought as the game started and she put her arms around her wife. She was just watching the first batter from Minnesota strike out when Maura began softly kissing her face and neck. Another batter stepped up, and Maura's hands began creeping up Jane's shirt.

"Okay, I get it," Jane laughed. "You want me to pay attention to you instead of the game."

"No I don't," Maura promised. "Just keep watching." She pulled Jane's shirt off over her head and swiftly unhooked her bra, sliding it off.

Batter number two got his first strike. "It's a little distracting," Jane said as Maura's fingers danced over her breasts, tracing a spiral that ended at her nipples.

The batter got his second strike. "Just relax and watch the game," Maura murmured. She pressed a series of reverent kisses to each breast.

The batter struck out. Two outs. Maura took Jane's right nipple in her mouth and began alternately sucking it, swirling it with her tongue, and ever so lightly rolling it between her teeth. The third batter struck out, and the teams switched sides. Maura switched nipples. Jane cried out involuntarily as Maura sucked hard on her more sensitive left nipple. _Actually, this might be pretty close to Heaven_ , she thought, watching the Sox get their first hit of the game while Maura went to town on her boobs. The Sox had just scored their first run when Maura unfastened Jane's pants and pulled them off, Jane lifting her hips to make it easier for her. Jane readily spread her legs for her wife, who knelt on the floor between them and began lightly kissing the inside of Jane's thigh. Jane sank a bit lower on the couch, sliding her hips towards Maura, watching the teams switch sides again.

The next Minnesota batter got a hit, but was tagged out on his way to second base. Maura pressed her lips to Jane's pussy, kissing several different spots. She moved slowly, savoring it, her hands resting on Jane's thighs. Her tongue came out and moved around Jane's cunt in a figure eight.

"Fuck," Jane gasped as Maura's tongue finally made contact with her clit. Maura licked. She swirled. She sucked. She tapped rhythms with her tongue. Jane moaned. _Okay,_ this _is Heaven_ , she thought, threading her fingers into Maura's soft hair. The game went into the third inning, the score still 1-0 in favor of the Sox. The Twins were batting again. Maura brought Jane close to the edge and then withdrew temporarily. She entered Jane with her tongue and Jane watched the Twins get their first run, tying the score as that soft tongue flicked in and out, in and out. Then she lost all track of the game when Maura moved back to her clit, quickly bringing her to orgasm.

"Damn, woman," Jane breathed as she lay diagonally across the couch, panting, no longer caring who was at bat. "I think _I_ might be pregnant after that."

Maura smiled and began removing her clothing. Jane was vaguely aware that the Sox were batting again, but it was hard to care about that when Naked Maura was appearing before her eyes.

"It shouldn't take long," Maura said apologetically, apparently still thinking Jane was interested in the game. "I'm already close."

Jane put her hands on Maura's hips and pulled her onto her lap. She could feel the wetness of Maura's pussy against her thigh as Maura settled herself into position, straddling Jane.

"Am I blocking your view?" Maura asked worriedly.

"Honey, this is the only view I need to see right now," Jane promised, dipping her head down to her wife's beautiful breasts. She ran her tongue all over them before working each nipple with tongue, lips and teeth, but Maura cut her short.

"Jane," she panted, her voice urgent. "I need you inside of me." She reached for Jane's left hand and pulled it towards her heat. "Pretend this is how you're getting me pregnant."

"You want me to pretend to do something scientifically impossible?"

Maura nodded, rubbing her wetness against Jane's fingers. Jane went in.

Maura was unusually quiet while Jane was fucking her, apparently trying to let Jane at least hear the commentary on the game. Jane gathered that the Sox had scored a second run, but she didn't care right now. She was already home. Within minutes, Maura was closing up around Jane's fingers, throwing her head back and crying out Jane's name. Jane _loved_ to hear her name like that.

"Do you think we made a baby?" Jane asked afterwards, pulling her pants back on in preparation for their appointment.

"I hope so." Maura fastened her bra.

Jane gave Maura a kiss. "I have to admit, I'll miss the spontaneous couch sex when we're parents."

Maura smiled. "That's why we have to enjoy it while we still can."

XXX

Maura sat on the examining table, wearing the gown they'd given her, calmly reading an article on her phone. Jane paced around next to the table, checking the clock. Two months ago she had been the one in the gown, getting her eggs harvested after several days of letting Maura inject her with a follicle-stimulating hormone. Since then, the staff at the fertility clinic had fertilized the eggs with donor sperm and watched to see if they would grow. Out of ten eggs, only four had grown into viable embryos (or zygotes, or whatever the hell they were called). So far, two of these had been transferred to Maura's womb, but neither had successfully implanted. Today they were going to do the other two, both at the same time. It wasn't likely they would both survive, but it would double their chances of having one. And if they did have two? Well, that was what Grandma Rizzoli was for.

Maura had been given Valium to relax her uterus for the procedure. That was what they were waiting for now; she couldn't take it until after she'd signed the necessary consent forms, so they had to give it time to kick in. Being here, in this setting, made Jane nervous. She had multiple reasons for feeling this way. The biggest was the fear that this time would be another failure, because she wasn't sure how many times Maura would bounce back after yet another month went by without her dream of motherhood being realized. It was also hard not to feel anxious about the fact that a stranger was going to come in and insert a foreign object into her wife's vagina. And aside from all that, it was hard to keep her mind from wandering to the unpleasant memory of the first time she had accompanied Maura to a gynecological appointment.

That had been two years ago, about a week after Maura had been released from the hospital following her abduction. Maura had multiple vaginal tears, one of which was bad enough to require stitches, and they'd told her to see a gynecologist in a week to make sure everything was healing correctly. Her usual doctor was booked up, so they had to see someone she wasn't familiar with. Jane knew Maura had to be dreading this exam, so she talked and joked with her while they waited for the doctor, trying to get her mind off the situation just a little. Then the doctor came in, introducing herself as Dr. Peterson, and Maura began to tremble. Dr. Peterson's insistence that Maura explain what had happened only made matters worse. _That shit has to be in the notes,_ Jane remembered thinking.

"Scoot down and put your feet in the stirrups," Dr. Peterson had instructed once they'd gotten the preliminaries out of the way. Maura did as she was told, her fingers tightening around Jane's hand. She was shaking harder, and Jane wondered if it would be possible to do the exam without hurting her even worse.

Dr. Peterson picked up the speculum. "Okay, I'm just going to touch you."

"No." Maura suddenly recoiled, pulling her feet back out of the stirrups and reaching for Jane. "Please don't."

"Hey. It's okay, baby." Jane wrapped her arms around Maura, holding her trembling body close. She knew Maura's instinctive need to protect herself outweighed her logic right now, and it was hard seeing her like this.

Dr. Peterson did not look pleased. "Dr. Isles, I know this is uncomfortable, but I need to make sure you're healing properly and that there's no sign of infection."

"I'm…I'm still very sore," Maura told her, trying to sound reasonable.

"She's already on antibiotics," Jane pointed out. "So it's not very likely she'd get an infection, is it?"

"I need to check to be sure, and to make sure everything's healing okay and that nothing is wrong with the stitches."

"I can't," Maura said, shaking her head. "It hurts too much."

"Can't this wait until she's in a little less pain?" Jane asked. She hated coming out here for nothing, but she couldn't stand to make Maura go through this when she was so frightened. And she didn't even like to think about how much it might hurt. Poor Maura couldn't even sit right now without a cushion. Sticking something in there was _not_ going to feel good.

"It would be best if we could do it now." Dr. Peterson looked at Maura. "Dr. Isles, you understand why I need to examine you, right?"

Maura nodded, clearly struggling with herself. She _wanted_ to be reasonable. She _wanted_ to do what was medically necessary. But lately she had been reduced to this, this almost animalistic need to protect herself from pain at all costs.

Reason seemed to win, and Maura slowly scooted back down on the table, putting her feet in the stirrups. Dr. Peterson approached with the speculum again.

" _No!_ " Maura screamed at the last second, pulling her feet from the stirrups and pressing her knees together. "I can't do it. I can't." She looked up at Jane, tears running down her face.

Dr. Peterson gave Jane an exasperated look. What the fuck did she expect her to do, hold Maura down so she could do the exam? _That_ sure as hell wasn't happening.

"You can't make her do this if she doesn't want to," said Jane quietly, gathering Maura in her arms.

"I am aware of that, but it really is in her best interest to go ahead. If you could perhaps encourage her—"

"I want her to have the medical treatment she needs. I really do. But I have to take her emotional well-being into account as well, and this—" Jane motioned to the exam table, to the speculum in the doctor's hands— "clearly isn't good for her right now."

Dr. Peterson sighed in resignation. "I can write her a prescription for Valium. When you leave, go to the front desk and make another appointment, preferably within the next few days. About a half hour before that appointment, she should take the Valium. Hopefully it will relax her enough for her to be able to get through the exam."

Jane nodded. She didn't like the thought of drugging Maura for this, but if it was the only way to get her through it, then it was what they would have to do. "Is that what you want to do?" she asked Maura, tenderly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Maura shook her head. "I don't want to come back. I can do this." She slowly let go of Jane and got into position for the third time. Dr. Peterson cautiously approached, but Maura didn't react. In fact, her muscles were no longer tensed, and her eyes had lost their focus. She was dissociating, Jane realized. She wasn't even here.

Dr. Peterson didn't seem to notice. She completed the exam, said everything was healing as it should, and left them alone. Jane had to say Maura's name repeatedly to get her back to planet Earth so she could help her get dressed.

That night in bed, Maura had asked Jane what happened at the appointment, because she couldn't remember much about it.

"Jane!"

Hearing her wife's voice brought her back to the present moment. Jane smiled at Maura. "Sorry. My mind wandered a little."

Maura reached for Jane's hands. "The doctor should be in soon. I think the Valium is kicking in."

Jane chuckled. "You feel a little stoned?"

"Not really."

"You feel extra relaxed?"

"Not _that_ relaxed. But I do feel like I could take a nap."

Jane smiled fondly at her wife. Although she'd changed out of her clothes, she was still wearing the necklace Jane had given her for their first wedding anniversary two weeks ago. The pendant was a gold heart edged with diamonds, with a little map engraved in the heart that showed the location of Jane's old apartment. Jane chose that particular location because it was the spot where their romantic relationship officially began. It was in that apartment that Jane had first told Maura she loved her, had kissed her and made love to her for the first time. Maura positively adored the necklace. She'd worn it every day since their anniversary.

Jane planted a kiss on Maura's temple. "You're going to make such a beautiful mother."

Maura smiled, her eyes sparkling. "You will too. Hopefully soon!"

Jane touched Maura's hair lightly. "Yeah. But you know you're all I really need to be happy, right? You _are_ my dream come true. Anything else is just icing on the cake."

The doctor and embryologist came in then, and Jane held Maura's hand while the doctor used a catheter to transfer the embryos into Maura's uterus, using an ultrasound to make sure they were in the right spot. Maura looked much calmer than Jane felt. She wanted so badly for this to work, for both of them. Jane had never really felt that desire most women seemed to feel to actually carry a child in her womb, but she knew Maura felt it, and she was afraid Maura would be devastated if she found she couldn't do it. She'd been taking prenatal vitamins for months already to prepare her body for this. Although Jane had already volunteered her own uterus in the event that Maura couldn't carry a child to term, it still broke her heart to think there was a possibility that it would come to that. Maura deserved this.

At the same time, the thought of Maura's pregnancy also made Jane nervous. It would certainly make her more vulnerable. What if it she got sick? What if something went wrong with the delivery? What if bringing new life into the world actually shortened Maura's? She tried not to think about it too much. Maura was healthy, and she knew how to take care of herself. Jane had to make herself trust that it would be okay.

"You're all set," the doctor said cheerfully when the procedure was finished. "Continue taking the progesterone, and we'll do a pregnancy test in two weeks. Make sure you take it easy for the next 24 hours." She left the room, and Maura changed back into her clothes.

Jane always felt weird just going home and resuming her normal activities after doing the embryo transfer. This could be the day that would change the rest of their lives, and there was nothing to do but just try to catch the end of the Sox game? One of those embryos (or zygotes, according to Maura) could be implanting itself in the lining of Maura's uterus right now. Their future child could be with them already, starting to grow. Then again, they could be set for another disappointment. Maybe it would just mean another negative pregnancy test, another unwelcome period, another egg-harvesting cycle for Jane. In that case, it _would_ be better to act like today was just another ordinary day. Anything else would make the disappointment hurt that much more.

They didn't say anything else about the procedure that afternoon. Jane stretched out on the couch and turned the game back on. Maura joined her, made herself comfortable in Jane's arms, and soon drifted off to sleep. Jane held her close and watched the rest of the game.

The Sox won, 6-3.


	2. Chapter 2

The alarm woke Maura up, followed by the sound of Jane repeatedly hitting the clock to shut it up. Maura was used to this. She was also used to Jane cussing as she stumbled to the bathroom. The most unusual thing about this morning was the emptiness she felt, knowing she had to go to work and act like everything was normal even though Susie was gone.

The not-quite-two weeks following the embryo transfer procedure had been a nightmare, with Susie being killed and Maura getting suspended. The extreme stress might explain why Maura was feeling more tired than normal. It might even explain the low-level nausea she'd been feeling the past few days. It did not, however, explain why her breasts were so sore. They had been tender for almost a week already, more so than they had ever been from just PMS. She had to wonder.

Jane came back out of the bathroom, still wearing only the tank top and panties she'd slept in, cursing under her breath. This qualified as more cursing than usual, which could only mean one thing: Jane was menstruating. Jane and Maura's cycles had been in sync since before they had even started dating, although they were a bit off currently with all the hormones they'd both been taking. Maura got up and took her turn in the bathroom, checking to see if she'd started her period, but she hadn't. She remembered spotting a little a few days ago, which could have meant that one of the zygotes was implanting into the lining of her uterus, but it could also be a fluke. Her pregnancy test at the fertility clinic was scheduled for the day after tomorrow, but she had a home test tucked in her purse, just in case she didn't feel like waiting.

She said nothing to Jane, but her suspicions only mounted as the day went on. Kent was getting on her nerves more than usual (not that he always got on her nerves, but he certainly could at times). Apparently Jane had said something to offend him while Maura was suspended, and he seemed to want Maura to take his side, but the thought of siding with anyone against the woman whose child she might be carrying made her oddly emotional. She finally snapped at him that if he didn't have anything to say about what they were currently working on, he might do best to keep silent. Then she went into the bathroom and lost her lunch. That was when she decided to take the test.

Once she'd urinated on the test strip, she carried the test back to her office and set it down flat on her desk. The instructions said the results should be there within two minutes, so she paced around, checking the clock every few seconds. She really hoped it would be positive. After what happened to Susie, she could really use some good news right now, even though it made her sad that she wouldn't be able to share the news with Susie. She thought maybe she should have called Jane down and told her she was taking the test so they could wait for the results together, but it was a bit late for that now. Finally, two minutes had passed, so she looked at the test. She sucked in her breath.

There was a little plus sign inside the tiny round window.

 _It won't be real until Jane sees it too_ , she thought, already pulling out her phone with shaking hands. _I need to see you in my office_ , she texted to Jane.

While she waited for her wife to arrive, she closed all the blinds in her office. Then she just stood in the doorway, twisting her wedding rings. At least Kent wasn't too likely to blunder into the middle of things, given the way she'd spoken to him earlier. She would have to apologize when she had the chance.

Finally she spotted Jane coming down the hallway, her casual swagger indicating that she had no idea she was about to receive life-changing news. "Hey foxy lady," she said cheerfully.

Maura wordlessly grabbed Jane's hand and pulled her into the office, closing and locking the door behind them.

"Well if I'd known this was a booty call, I'd have freshened up before I came down," Jane remarked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"It's not," Maura said, turning to grab the test from her desk. She held it up so Jane could see.

Jane's jaw dropped. "Is that a pregnancy test?"

Maura nodded. "I just took it. I was having some possible symptoms, and I didn't want to wait two more days."

"It's…it's positive."

Maura nodded, and a smile began to spread across her face. "I'll still have my blood test at the clinic, but this is supposed to be 99% accurate."

"So you're pregnant?"

Maura's smile grew. "Yes, I…yes. It looks like I am."

Jane let out a silent scream, threw her arms around Maura, and lifted Maura's feet off the ground, spinning her around. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said, suddenly alarmed. "Was that a bad thing to do?"

"No, it's fine!"

Jane gently laid a hand over Maura's still flat abdomen. "There's a baby in there," she said in awe.

"Technically an embryo."

"I thought it was a zygote."

"It was until it implanted. Now it's an embryo." Maura put her hand on top of Jane's. "It's an embryo, with your DNA." She made eye contact with Jane and smiled again.

Jane grinned back. "This is _weird_! It's weirder than I thought it would be. Okay, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to kiss now." She pulled Maura close and kissed her for a long time.

"We can't tell anyone yet," Maura reminded her when they came up for air. "It's still so early. It might not stick around."

"I know. It's just between us for now." Jane hugged Maura close and kissed the side of her head. "Between the _three_ of us."

Maura couldn't help grinning. This was real. She was having Jane's baby. _Their_ baby. They were going to be mothers together.

"So," Jane said in a low voice, directly into Maura's ear. "I guess that day on the couch worked, huh? I totally got you pregnant."

Maura giggled, stepping back to look at her wife's face. "Yes. You got me pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

Jane delivered another punch to the man-shaped punching bag Frost and Korsak had given her as a get-well present when she shot herself over four years ago. It was amazing how much life had changed in those few years. She and Maura had still been only friends back then; Maura had even aggravated the hell out of Jane by dating her obnoxious trauma surgeon. Now Frost was gone, Frankie was a detective, and Maura was her wife. Her _pregnant_ wife.

Maura was six weeks along now, and they were going into work a little late because Maura's first OB appointment was this morning. Jane was going with her, even though they were in the middle of a very disturbing case. She wanted to go to as many of Maura's appointments as she possibly could, and this one seemed especially important since it was the first. She wanted to meet this doctor, to make sure the doctor understood who she was going to have to deal with if anything at all went wrong with Maura. She also wanted to make sure it really was okay that Maura was throwing up so much. Maura insisted it meant she was producing plenty of pregnancy hormones and that it meant she was less likely to miscarry, and Jane knew she was bound to be right, but she'd still feel better hearing it from the obstetrician. Poor Maura couldn't seem to keep anything down. It was making it hard to keep the pregnancy a secret. Although they hadn't made an announcement yet, Angela was already starting to knit and kept giving Maura happy hugs for no apparent reason. Other people had made comments about Maura's frequent bathroom trips and light eating, and everyone _did_ know they were trying, so they had probably put it together.

Jane thought she might be kind of relieved when they made the announcement, so she could ask her mom questions about what was normal during pregnancy. The situation was making her very nervous. She didn't know what to do, how to get through it, if Maura lost the baby or if she got really sick. Realizing she had twice as much to protect now kind of made her want to go to church. Not to mass, specifically; she just wanted to be inside her old church, to feel safe, and to pray. Instead she kept coming down to her basement workout room, the room where everything from her old apartment that did not seem to have a place in Maura's house had ended up. She stored her sports equipment down here, hung her Red Sox posters on the wall, even kept her old school yearbooks down here. It was the only room that was truly hers in a house that still felt like Maura's. Jane was happy to be surrounded by all things Maura most of the time, but this was her place to come to in moments when she just needed to be Jane for a little while.

"Jane, we need to leave in five minutes," Maura called from the top of the stairs.

"Okay, I'll be right up," Jane called back.

Jane decided she didn't need to visit her old church in order to pray. She was having anxiety right here, right now, and she needed to unload it before she went to Maura's appointment. So she knelt down beside her punching bag dummy, closed her eyes, and began a quiet prayer:

"So, I know I mostly only come to you when something's wrong, and I'm gonna try to do better about that. Nothing's wrong right now though. As I'm sure you know, Maura's pregnant, which we're both very grateful for. But I'm scared, because she's been through so much already, and I don't want anything to go wrong with this. I know things go wrong for people all the time, and I know you're not supposed to play favorites, but you and I both know she's your best work. I mean, you really outdid yourself when you made her. So if you could just give her a really smooth pregnancy and just let her enjoy it and not get sick, that would be great. She really, really deserves it. I don't mean the throwing up because she says that's actually a good thing, but I know she has an extra risk of certain complications, and I don't want her to have that. She deserves to have this one really important thing go well, and have a healthy baby, because I know she'll be an amazing mom. Anyway, I have to go, I gotta go with her to the doctor. Thank you, for everything."

She got up and hurried upstairs to find Maura.

XXX

"I trust you've been taking your prenatal vitamins?" Dr. Kessler asked. She looked at least as old as Jane's mother. Jane certainly hoped she was staying up-to-date on modern pregnancy and childbirth.

"Yes," Maura said with a smile.

"And you're getting proper nutrition?"

"I'm drinking lots of water and eating foods that are high in calcium, iron, and folate."

"But she's not keeping much of it down," Jane interjected.

"Is the morning sickness bad?" Dr. Kessler asked sympathetically.

"Well, I wouldn't call it _morning_ sickness," Maura said, still smiling.

"She's sick all day long," Jane said. "I mean, she's supposed to be eating for two, isn't she? But she's not even eating for one."

Dr. Kessler smiled placidly. "Actually, she won't need to start 'eating for two' until the second trimester, and even then she'll only need around 300 extra calories each day. The nausea should be under control by then. In the meantime, she just needs to eat what she can. Nausea and vomiting just mean that she's producing all the right hormones and the baby's growing as it should."

Maura gave Jane her "I-told-you-so" smile.

"So how are you feeling, aside from the nausea?" Dr. Kessler asked.

"Really tired, and I'm not thinking very clearly. I've started making lists to keep track of things!"

"That's perfectly normal. Have you felt depressed at all?"

"No, not at all. I'm very excited about the pregnancy!"

"Any lack of interest in doing things?"

"Well, I haven't been very interested in sex lately, but otherwise no."

Jane blushed furiously. She didn't see why this _stranger_ needed to know anything about their sex life.

"That's also normal. Your libido may return in a month or so, when your hormone levels have dropped off. Now, I know you work as the chief medical examiner, and you probably know there are certain hazards in that workplace that can increase your risk of miscarriage."

"There are?" Jane practically shouted. She gave Maura a reproachful look for not mentioning this sooner.

"Exposure to certain chemicals, such as disinfectants and formaldehyde, can increase miscarriage risk," Dr. Kessler explained. She looked at Maura. "When you must handle such chemicals, it's important to wear gloves and other protective gear to minimize exposure."

"Or make Kent do all the cleaning," Jane suggested.

"It's also important that you not spend too much time on your feet. I know you probably stand while you're doing autopsies, but you need to take breaks and sit down for a while. You should also avoid any heavy lifting."

"I haven't been lifting," Maura promised.

"Working long hours has also been linked to increased miscarriage risk," Dr. Kessler pointed out. "Which you probably do, as chief medical examiner, so you may want to look into how you can cut back."

"Make Kent do _everything_ ," Jane said decisively.

"I can't make him do _everything_ ," said Maura.

"You can make him do more, so you can do less. That's what he's there for. You're pregnant. Your number one job right now is taking care of yourself."

"I need to do an exam today," Dr. Kessler continued, "and I'd like to do a glucose tolerance test, since you have an increased risk of gestational diabetes. We also need to schedule some future appointments, including your first trimester screening. When you next come in, I'd like to do an ultrasound and listen for the heartbeat."

Maura lit up, her eyes locking on Jane's. Jane couldn't help but smile. The heartbeat. Soon, they would actually hear their baby's heartbeat.

Damn. This was _real_.

XXX

Jane and Maura went to work after the appointment. It took all day, but they finally wrapped up the case they'd been working on. Maura had just come upstairs to see if Jane was ready to go home when Jane's phone rang.

"Hey Ma," Jane answered casually, not expecting the frantic voice on the other end.

"Janie, your house is on fire! I forgot my phone at home so I came back on my break to get it, and—"

"Ma, slow down. Did you call the fire department?" She was already heading for the elevator, grabbing Maura's arm.

"Yes of course, they're here now. I smelled smoke and then I saw it coming out of the basement windows, so I called."

"Okay, I'm on my way. You're all right?" She pulled Maura onto the elevator and punched the button for the lobby.

"I'm fine, I'm across the street."

Frankie and Korsak followed them, looking worried. "How bad is it?" Jane asked.

"I'm not sure, I think it's mostly just the basement."

"Okay, well, stay out of the way. We'll be right there." Jane hung up and looked at the frightened faces surrounding her, settling on Maura. "Ma says our house is on fire," she said gently. Maura's hands flew to her mouth. "She's not sure how bad it is. The fire department is there now, and she's fine."

"How would our house have caught on fire when we weren't even home?" Maura asked, distraught.

"I don't know." A lot of dark thoughts were passing through her head. It was hard not to suspect arson. The list of people who might hate Jane and Maura enough to burn their house down was, unfortunately, pretty long. Regardless of how the fire was set, the image of that beautiful Beacon Hill row house being destroyed, along with all of Maura's artwork and rare books and designer clothes, was heartbreaking. And they were expecting a baby.

She drove home with Maura as quickly as she could, Korsak and Frankie following behind them. She had to park down the street from their house because of the fire trucks, too far away to see how bad it was. As they ran down the block to her mother, she saw that the house was still standing, but she couldn't tell much else.

"I'm so sorry, girls," Angela said, pulling them both into a hug. "I hope I caught it in time. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't come by when I did."

"You did the right thing, Ma." Jane pulled back and studied the house. The façade seemed mostly intact aside from the basement windows being broken. She hoped the interior wasn't much worse.

"Jane," Maura said softly. "I think I need to go back to the car. The smoke is making me nauseous."

"I'll take her back," said Angela. "This is no place for a pregnant woman."

" _Ma_ ," Jane said sharply.

"This is no time for being coy, Janie. It's not really a secret. I've had three babies; I can tell when a woman is expecting. Come on, Maura." Angela led her daughter-in-law away from the smoky building.

Jane sighed and approached the nearest fire fighter. "Excuse me. I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli, and I live in this house. Can you tell me what's going on?"

"Well, I think we've got the fire out, but there's a lot of damage to the basement, and some smoke damage to the first floor."

"Can you tell how it started?"

"Not yet, ma'am, but I can tell you where it started: in the back room of the basement. That room is torched. There's nothing salvageable in there."

Jane's workout room. For just a second an image of all her personal belongings from that room flashed through her mind, but she steeled herself. Better her stuff than Maura's expensive stuff.

She swallowed. "Is the house safe to go in?"

"Not tonight, ma'am. We need to go through and make sure there aren't any fires still smoldering in the walls, determine if it's structurally sound. Find somewhere to stay tonight, and we'll let you know in the morning if it's safe to go in to get some things. It probably won't be a good idea to stay here until the damage is repaired and everything is cleaned up, which you're going to want to get a professional for. What you need to do right now is contact your insurance company."

Jane nodded slowly, her heart racing. She just wanted to go in there and see what exactly they'd lost. She'd so been looking forward to an evening at home, to having a beer on the couch and then going to bed. Now she didn't even know where she was going to sleep.

She turned around and headed back to her car, trying to look braver than she actually felt. Frankie and Korsak had joined Maura and Angela by the car, and they all looked at Jane expectantly. She cleared her throat.

"The basement is badly damaged and there's some smoke damage to the first floor, but everything else is fine. They think the fire's out. They're just checking to make sure there aren't any little fires in the walls or anything. We'll have to get it professionally cleaned and do some repairs, and we have to stay somewhere else until then. We'll check tomorrow to see if we can at least go in and get some stuff."

"Do they know how the fire started?" Maura asked.

"Not yet, but it started in my exercise room. Everything in there is destroyed."

"Oh, Jane!" Maura looked stricken. "You had so much stuff in there! Your yearbooks, and your Red Sox posters—"

"It's fine, Maura. It's nothing that important."

"But it _is_!"

"Let's just worry about where we're going to sleep tonight, okay?"

"You can stay in the guest house," Angela offered. "I'll take the couch, and you two can take my bed."

"Thanks, Ma, but I'm sure you can smell the smoke from the guest house."

"Oh yeah. Maybe _I_ shouldn't stay there either!"

"You can stay with me tonight, Ma," Frankie told her.

"I'll get us a hotel room," Maura said, pulling out her phone.

Jane didn't mention anything about her arson suspicions on the way to the Four Seasons. Maura was more concerned with being able to take her prenatal vitamins, so Jane dropped her off and went on a store run to get the essential things they needed, then picked up Maura's overnight bag from the office. She returned to the hotel to find Maura already asleep and sat on the bed next to her, just thinking in the darkness.

Why, when it seemed like things were starting to go right, did something always have to go wrong?


	4. Chapter 4

Maura tucked her copy of _What to Expect the First Year_ into her purse and stood up from her desk, her hand moving to the sharp pain on the side of her pelvis. Her uterus was getting heavy enough now to start straining the ligaments that supported it, causing pain when she moved in certain ways. She headed towards the elevator, hoping Jane hadn't forgotten their appointment. It was a big one. Today was their first ultrasound.

Jane had been a bit distracted since the fire, though. She was trying to stay focused on Maura and the baby and work, but it was hard now that the fire had been confirmed as arson. Someone had bumped the lock on their back door, and they didn't have the first idea as to who it might be. There were plenty of people who might hold a grudge against either Jane or Maura, although Jane suspected she was the one they were after, since the fire had been set in the only room that was specifically hers. Maura was just glad that Angela had caught the fire when she did. Otherwise, they might have lost the entire house.

As it was, most of Maura's things had survived with little or no damage. She felt horrible for relegating so many of Jane's personal belongings to the basement. She hadn't really _meant_ for it to happen that way. She had fixed up the workout room as a special surprise for Jane not long after she moved in. Jane had tried to hang her punching bag dummy in the yoga room, which Maura did not feel was at all appropriate for a room that was meant to be peaceful. So she gave Jane her own space, and she hung up Jane's posters down because they didn't fit in with her decorating scheme. Jane ended up putting a lot of other personal items down there just because it was hard to find room in an already lived-in house, and at the time, Maura felt pleased that Jane had a room that was all her own. Now she felt wildly selfish for it. If Jane's things had been spread all over the house like Maura's, she'd still have most of them.

They had been living at the Four Seasons for two weeks now while professionals took care of the fire and smoke damage, and Maura was getting quite homesick. Angela had offered to stay with Frankie and let them stay in the guest house, an offer Jane wanted to take up, but Maura didn't think it was fair for three people to be displaced (four if you counted Frankie, who didn't really want his mother staying with him). They would be back home soon enough. The question was how they were going to make sure the house was safe from future attacks.

When the elevator doors opened, Maura saw that Jane was already there, deep in thought. She looked up when she saw Maura stepping on board.

"Hey. Sorry, I hope I'm not late."

"You're right on time," Maura assured her, taking her hand. "Are you nervous?"

"Should I be?"

"I am. I'm really excited, but I'm also nervous. What if there isn't a heartbeat?"

Jane's eyes widened. "There might not be one?"

"Not necessarily. It's possible that the baby died and my uterus just hasn't expelled it yet."

"Shit. Well, now _I'm_ nervous."

"Or we could find out both embryos implanted."

"Well, I'd rather have two heartbeats than none."

"I think I would too, but one would be my first choice. Two babies would be a little overwhelming, and we don't even have a house to put them in!"

"We have a house. We'll be back in the house long before you give birth."

They stepped out into the lobby. "Unless someone sets it on fire again, and it really _does_ burn down," Maura pointed out.

"It won't. We're getting a sprinkler system installed. Anyway, aren't you supposed to be the calm one in this marriage?"

"Not all the time. Sometimes it has to be your turn. It's only fair."

At the clinic, Jane held Maura's hand tightly while Dr. Kessler got the ultrasound ready. Maura held her breath, fearing the worst, but suddenly, there it was on the screen: a tiny embryo, living inside her uterus.

"Holy shit," said Jane. "That's it, isn't it? That's our baby. There really is one in there." She looked from the screen to Maura and back again.

Maura squeezed her hand. "Just one," she said, smiling. "But its heart is beating. You can see it."

"You can?" Jane squinted.

"Right there." Dr. Kessler pointed to the ethereal, pulsing movement in the middle of the embryo.

"Wow," Jane said in awe. "The heart looks so big compared to the rest of its body."

"I'll turn on the audio so you can hear it," Dr. Kessler said, and a moment later, a throbbing sound began coming from the machine. Maura's smiled broadened as she blinked back tears.

"It sounds strong," she said.

"And fast," said Jane. "Is it supposed to be that fast?"

"Yes," Maura and Dr. Kessler said at the same time.

"167 beats per minute," said Dr. Kessler, taking a measurement.

"The heart rate speeds up between the fifth and ninth weeks, then starts to slow back down," Maura explained to Jane. "If you multiply the embryonic heart rate by 0.3 and add six, you can actually calculate the age of the fetus down to the day."

"You can see the little arm buds," Dr. Kessler said, pointing them out. "And the leg buds too. It's hard to see on the ultrasound, but the baby should be starting to form facial features as well—eyes, ears, nose."

Maura stared at the ultrasound image, transfixed. She'd known exactly what to expect before she came in here, but somehow it didn't quite prepare her for the reality of seeing her baby's outline on the screen. She never wanted to leave this room. She glanced up at Jane to see if she felt the same way and saw a tear sliding down her wife's cheek. "Are you crying?" she asked in surprise.

"No," Jane said unconvincingly.

Dr. Kessler took a measurement on the screen. "The baby's about 2.15 centimeters from crown to rump, which is just the right size for eight weeks," she said. "Looks like it's growing right on target. And it's moving!"

It was. They could see it jiggling a little on the screen, very briefly, as if it were doing a little dance. It moved its head from side to side and waved a little arm bud, then became still again. Maura squeezed Jane's hand again. Jane sniffled and cleared her throat.

"Your cervix and ovaries look good," said Dr. Kessler. "I'll get you some pictures to take home. Have you told anyone else about the pregnancy yet?"

"Not yet," said Maura. "Our plan was to wait until we heard the heartbeat. My mother-in-law figured it out, but no one else knows."

"Supposedly," said Jane. "But Frankie keeps asking me how you are, and Tommy sent me some kind of parenting article on Facebook. That woman can _not_ keep her mouth shut."

Dr. Kessler smiled. "Well, you'll have pictures to show when you make the official announcement. And you can tell everyone that everything looks great."

When they got back to the car, they spent a few minutes just looking through the pictures.

"I feel like I want to frame one of these," Jane said softly. "It's funny. When other people show me these, I can never even tell where the baby's supposed to be. But it looks so clear on ours. There's the head, and the arms, and the legs. It's adorable."

Maura smiled fondly at her. "You're more invested in this one, that's why."

Jane wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry. I was gonna be cool."

"It's okay. I think crying over an ultrasound is sexy."

Jane smiled. "It's just, it seems so _real_ now. That's a _baby_. And it's _inside of you_." She laid a hand on Maura's abdomen. "You've got a _baby_ in there. For real. _We're going to have a baby!_ "

"Yes!" Maura giggled. "Do you still want to tell everyone tonight?"

"Yeah, if there's anyone left who doesn't know. I'll make sure everyone is at the Robber after work."

"I'll try calling my mother tomorrow morning to tell her, and then I'll tell my staff on Monday and explain the accommodations I will need during my pregnancy."

Jane nodded. "Will you tell Hope?"

"Yes, of course, but I'll probably just mention it next time she calls. I don't know how she'll feel, really. It isn't her biological grandchild."

"I wonder what Paddy would think," Jane mused.

"I'm certainly not in a hurry to tell him."

"We're gonna have a lot to explain to this kid when it's older, huh?"

"Yes," Maura agreed, looking down at the picture a little sadly.

"Hey, don't look sad. The kid's going to grow up in a great family, with the two best moms in the world. So what if it's complicated? The kid'll have some good stories to tell. " She put her arms around Maura and kissed her.

XXX

That evening, Frankie, Nina, and Korsak joined them at the Dirty Robber for dinner. It occurred to Maura at the last minute to invite Kent as well. Although she didn't quite think of him as being like family just yet, he was the one who would take over many of her duties as the pregnancy progressed, so it was important for him to know. Angela brought out everyone's food and drinks and then joined them at the table. Maura sipped her lemonade and watched everyone engaging in their private conversations, wondering if any of them would be surprised by her and Jane's news. When Jane was finished eating, she tapped her glass to get everyone's attention.

"Maura and I have an announcement to make," she said with a smile.

"I'm so happy for you both!" Angela exclaimed, throwing her arms around Maura and reaching around her for Jane.

"Ma, stop, I haven't made the announcement yet!"

"I'm sorry, baby. Go ahead." Angela pulled put her hands in her lap and waited. Everyone fell silent, looking at them expectantly.

"We're having a baby," Maura said quickly.

The table erupted into cheers and screams. The screaming was Angela, who jumped out of her chair and got between Jane and Maura, pulling them both into a bone-crushing hug.

"Ow, Ma, let go!" Jane griped. "And let go of Maura too. She's pregnant, Ma, you have to be gentle with her."

"Oh, she's not that delicate," Angela insisted, but she let go.

"I have pictures!" Maura said, pulling them out of her purse. "We had an ultrasound today, and listened to the heartbeat. The official due date is March 15!"

They passed the pictures around and everyone exclaimed over the baby. Korsak, Nina, and Kent were genuinely surprised by the news, but Frankie admitted that Angela had already told him. Kent had to share some random pregnancy facts, and everyone hugged Jane and Maura at least once. As she looked around, Maura realized Jane was right. It might be complicated, but this baby was going to be born into a big, beautiful family that would never let it feel unloved.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm actually looking forward to this reunion," Jane remarked, pulling on a fancy shoe to match the dress Maura had picked out. "I don't really know why. People died at the last one."

"It's because at the last one, you felt you hadn't accomplished enough in your life, but this time you can tell everyone you're married and expecting a child." Maura stepped out of their hotel suite bathroom, wearing a tight red dress.

"Damn," Jane breathed. "Maybe I'm imagining it, but you look better than ever right now. I mean, of course your boobs are bigger, but even your _hair_ looks different. It's thicker and shinier than I've ever seen it."

Maura grinned. "The increased estrogen during pregnancy slows down the rate at which your hair normally falls out, so it looks thicker. It may get even better during my second trimester, but it'll go back to normal after I give birth."

"Well you normally look amazing, so I don't even know what to say you look like right now. The whole pregnant thing is working for you."

"I'm just glad the nausea is finally getting better," said Maura, looking pleased. "Here, put your hand on my abdomen. It feels firmer, doesn't it?"

Jane placed her hand over the spot where she knew the baby was and found the usual softness wasn't there.

"My uterus will have more than doubled in size by now," Maura explained.

"Does that mean you're going to start showing soon?"

"Not necessarily. Different people start showing at different times, and women who've been pregnant before usually show sooner. Since this is my first pregnancy, I may not show at all until sometime in the second trimester."

Jane lovingly ran her fingers across Maura's abdomen. "I don't want to rush things, but I think I'm going to like it when you get a bump here. It'll feel more like the baby's really with us, you know?"

Maura smiled. "It'll feel that way even more when we can feel the baby move."

Jane grinned. "That's going to be so much fun!"

Maura grinned back, reaching for her purse. "Do you think your classmates are going to be accepting of the fact that you have a pregnant wife? It _is_ a Catholic school, after all."

"Yeah, but we were _forced_ to go to Catholic school. A lot of them will be unobservant Catholics like me, or not Catholic at all anymore. And if anyone does have a problem, they can just leave us the fuck alone. I'm looking forward to showing you off."

"Do you think Casey will be there?" Maura asked as they left their hotel room and made their way to the elevator.

"Shit," said Jane, stopping in her tracks. "I didn't even think about that. He might be, I guess, but he's probably overseas."

"Yes, probably," Maura agreed, pushing the down button. "And if he is there, you certainly don't have to talk to him."

"I don't even know what I'd say. He was pretty pissed when I told him about you."

That particular conversation with Casey had been one of the most awkward moments of Jane's life. He had shown up on the front steps of her building after months of not talking to her. Jane and Maura had been a couple for a month or so at the time; in fact, Maura was coming over for the night as soon as she got done feeding Bass. She'd seen him at the station when he came to ask Korsak to look after his dog, but she hadn't spoken to him then. Maura was clearly upset to see him, and Jane had focused her energy on reassuring Maura that she was _not_ with her because she couldn't have Casey.

In fact, the opposite had once been true. Casey was her big high school crush, and her old butterflies had resurfaced when he came back into her life at the ceremony where they gave her a medal for shooting herself. She had been filled with hope. Maura was dating Dr. Slucky at the time, and Jane still wanted desperately to live the life her parents wanted for her, with a husband and kids. She thought Casey offered the perfect opportunity: maybe she could fall for him and finally get over her inappropriate romantic feelings for Maura. Maybe she wasn't really gay. Maybe she just needed the right guy. But then Maura dumped Slucky, Casey went back to Afghanistan, and Jane felt relieved that it could just be her and Maura again.

Still, she didn't give up on Casey. They Skyped whenever they could, and for a time, it felt like they actually had a long-distance relationship going. And then Casey just stopped talking to her, with no explanation.

Eventually, she found out the reason: he had been badly injured in Afghanistan and was now paralyzed from the waist down, and he didn't want her to see him like that. She found that frustrating, but there wasn't anything she could do about it, so she went on with her life, and her feelings for Maura continued to grow. One night, she acted on her feelings, and the rest was history.

It figured Casey would show back up just when she was really, really enjoying herself with Maura. There he was, on her front steps with his crutches and braces, wanting to tell her about the surgery he was going to have.

"That's great!" she had said, and she meant it. But she was dreading what she knew was coming next.

There was an awkward pause, in which he seemed to expect her to say something that she didn't say. Finally he cleared his throat. "I still want to be with you, Jane, but I think it should wait until I've recovered from surgery."

Jane felt a lump in her throat. She knew she was kicking the poor man while he was down, but she didn't have a choice.

"Casey, I want the best for you," she said carefully, "but we're not going to be together. I already have someone."

He swallowed and nodded, as if he should have seen this coming and was resigned to just taking the hit. "Well. I'm not surprised. He'll probably make you happier than I would."

"It's not anything you did wrong," Jane promised. "I've had feelings for this person for a long time."

"Is it anyone I know?" he asked hesitantly.

"You've met her," she admitted.

His head snapped up. "Her?"

She nodded. "It's Maura."

"Maura? Your best friend?"

"Yeah. Well, she's still my best friend…but she's also a lot more."

"But she's…you're not like that, Jane."

Jane was starting to feel a tiny bit less sorry for him. "Apparently, I _am_ like that."

He frowned in disbelief. "Are you doing this to punish me?"

"What? Casey, this isn't _about_ you. I'm with her because I'm in love with her."

"Jane, this isn't you. I knew you might find someone else, but this isn't even _real_."

She drew herself up to her full height then. "She's on her way here now," she said evenly. "I'd like you to be gone when she gets here." And then she went inside. She hadn't seen or spoken to Casey since then, although her mom had heard from an old friend that he had recovered from surgery and reenlisted.

"I wonder if he's actually homophobic," Jane said as they got into Maura's car, "or if he just reacted that way because it was _me_ , you know?"

"People do say things they don't mean when they're hurt or confused," Maura admitted as she started the car. "But the fact that he was accepting when he believed you had a new boyfriend and then became angry when he found out you were with _me_ is a bit telling."

"Yeah, I guess so," Jane sighed. "I guess I never really got to know him that well. I wanted to think I did, but I really didn't."

"We all tend to see what we want to see in relationships. I was that way with Ian for a long time."

Jane was quiet for a minute. "Do you think that's what we're doing now? With each other?"

Maura glanced at her briefly, a smile tugging at her lips. "I definitely focus more on your positive traits, but when you live with someone long enough, you end up getting the whole picture whether you want it or not."

Jane chuckled. "Yeah. I never really _wanted_ to watch you puke, but by now I've done it dozens of times, and I still love you."

Maura laughed. "Will you be touching my breasts in front of your classmates at this reunion?"

Jane looked up in shock. "What the hell, Maura? Why would I do that?"

"You did at your last reunion."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"We weren't even a couple then!"

"I know! And I did find it a bit odd, but you touched my right breast in front of Giovanni, and my left breast in front of that computer geek and his wife the mean girl."

Jane thought it over. "I guess I did," she admitted. "I didn't exactly mean to, but you were wearing that blue dress that kind of outlined your tits. They were just so…there."

Maura giggled. "I didn't mind. But they're quite sore at the moment, so if you're going to do it again, you need to be extremely gentle."

"I'm not gonna do it this time," Jane promised, but she couldn't help smiling.

When they walked into her high school's gym, Jane was instantly hit with a bittersweet wave of nostalgia. She did have some fond memories from high school, but there was so, so much to hate. At least this time she felt proud of where she was in her life. She had her dream job, her dream girl, a baby on the way. It might not impress everyone, but it sure as hell impressed her.

"Look, there's a memorial for the ones who died last time," she pointed out.

"Oh, that's nice," said Maura. "But is that—"

"Shit. He _is_ here." Jane quickly turned away, as if Casey wouldn't be able to recognize her from the back, and found herself face-to-face with Giovanni.

"Jane! Maura! Hey!"

"Giovanni," Jane replied tiredly, instinctively pulling Maura closer.

"You two are still an item?"

"We're married now!" Maura said happily, showing off her rings.

"Oh, I think I heard about that. That's kind of hot, two chicks getting married! Kind of a waste, though." He waved at someone across the room and wandered off.

"I'm going to kill him," Jane seethed.

"No you're not," Maura said calmly, putting a hand on Jane's arm in a soothing gesture.

"Why does he keep saying it's a _waste_? Does he think your hotness is wasted on me? Because it's not. I appreciate your hotness every second of every day."

"He just doesn't understand, Jane," Maura said with a smile. "It's not worth getting worked up over."

"At least I don't want to lick your face," Jane said in Maura's ear. Maura giggled.

"Jane!" They looked up to see Jane's ex-best friend, Emily, smiling at them as if she and Jane _had_ stayed close through the years.

"Emily," said Jane awkwardly, beginning to really wonder why she had come here. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been great! And I see you're still with…I'm sorry, what was your name?"

"Maura," Maura volunteered cheerfully.

"Maura! Yes, you two have been together for a while, haven't you?"

"Yes, we've been married for a year now," Jane said slowly. "But we weren't together the last time I saw you."

"Yes you were, silly!" Emily insisted. "Don't you remember? Maura came to the last reunion with you. Everyone said what a cute couple you were."

"I…they…what?"

"You two seemed really solid. I'm not at all surprised you got married," Emily gushed.

"And we're having a baby!" Maura announced happily.

"You are? Congratulations!"

"Thanks!" chirped Maura. "We just had the first trimester screening done, and everything looks great so far!"

"Which one of you is pregnant?" Emily asked.

"Maura is," said Jane. She was floored by the news that everyone, not just Giovanni, had thought she and Maura were a couple at the last reunion. How did they all see it before she and Maura did?

"You know, that's what I would have guessed," giggled Emily. "Well, I'm gonna go get some punch. It was nice seeing you!"

"You too!" said Jane with a smile, but as soon as Emily walked away, Jane leaned close to Maura and growled, "That's what she would have guessed? What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Before Maura could answer, they heard a voice behind them that made Jane feel like icy water was washing over her.

"Hello Jane."

She turned around to see Casey smiling grimly.

"Casey," she said quietly. "You finally made it to a reunion."

"I did." He nodded at Maura to acknowledge her presence. "You look good, Jane."

"Thanks. You're looking much better yourself."

"Yes. The surgery was a success, as you can see."

"Maura," Jane said softly, "would you mind getting us some punch?"

"Of course," said Maura.

"Make sure they haven't put alcohol in it."

Casey waited until Maura had walked away before speaking again. "You don't drink alcohol anymore?"

"I do," said Jane. "But she can't right now."

It took a moment to sink in. "She's pregnant."

Jane nodded. "I'm going to be a mommy."

Casey scoffed. "I heard you 'married' her. I must admit, I really didn't think you'd do this for so long."

"Do what? Be with the person I love?"

He looked at her sadly. "I suppose I'm old-fashioned, but I think a child needs a father."

"I'm fully capable of teaching a kid how to throw a ball."

"It's more than that, Jane." He scrutinized her. "Do you think, if I hadn't gone back to Afghanistan—"

"No. I don't. And to be honest, Casey, if you ever really cared about me as much as you said you did, I really think you'd be happy for me. _I'm_ happy. I'm very much in love, I'm happily married, and I'm so excited about having a baby. I know you're disappointed that we never got to have a real relationship, but you were the one who said it was silly to try to be exclusive when we were so far apart. You said it would be okay if I found someone else. Why did you say that if it wasn't true?"

"It _was_ true, Jane. I wanted you to have the freedom to find happiness with another man. I never imagined you'd start sleeping with your best friend. It's not natural. It's not _you_ , Jane."

"I don't think," Jane said thickly, "that you really know me after all."

"I know that you need someone to take care of you, to soften your sharper edges," he said gently. "I know you once dreamed of having a family like the one you grew up in. Maura can't give you any of that."

"You don't know _her_ either," Jane said, her voice stronger. "And I clearly didn't know you. I never thought you were a bigot."

He launched into some explanation of why his views did not qualify as bigotry, but Jane wasn't listening anymore. She had noticed Maura making her way through the crowd carrying two cups of punch, pausing to talk to people on the way. She looked so interested in these people she didn't even know, and suddenly Jane understood why Maura looked forward to coming to events like this: it was because she wanted to learn as much as she could about Jane's life, especially the parts she wasn't there for. Maura wanted to know Jane for the person she was, not the person she thought she could make her into.

"Excuse me," Jane said to Casey, not even bothering to look at him as she spoke. She pushed through the crowd to Maura, taking one of the cups out of her hand.

"I checked. It's non-alcoholic," Maura said. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Casey's just being a jerk," said Jane. "I think I'm ready to get out of here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I showed you off to everyone, and it turns out none of them are impressed, because they think we've been together for years."

"Haven't we, though?" Maura said with a smile.

"I guess we have." Jane took Maura's hand and walked back outside with her.

"So what did Casey say to upset you while I was gone?" Maura asked as they got back into the car.

Jane turned his words over in her mind, trying to decide what bothered her the most. "He seems to still think I'm trying to punish him by being with you. Like, I married you and am now bringing a child into the world with you because he didn't talk to me for months."

"That would be a pretty elaborate punishment," said Maura.

"I know. And it shouldn't upset me that he thinks that. I mean, what he thinks shouldn't matter to me anymore."

"It's hard to completely stop caring what people think of us when we used to care very much."

"Yeah. I guess I just wonder how I never knew he thought like that. He even brought up that he thinks a child needs a father."

"Ouch. But you two never really talked about that sort of thing, did you? How often did same-sex couples and their children come up in your conversations?"

"Never," Jane admitted. "It's just really sinking in how little I knew him. I think I had this vision of him being the one man who could make me happy, but it wasn't really _him_ I was thinking of. It was just someone I made up to try and distract myself from you."

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened, if we hadn't done that?"

"You mean if I had told you I had the hots for you back when I met you?"

"Not necessarily when you met me, but…sooner."

Jane thought about it. "I remember the first time I had an overwhelming desire to kiss you. It was the first time we slept in the same bed."

"At my old apartment," Maura said with a smile. "It was the first time you ever came to my place."

"The first time we really saw each other outside of work, unless you count going to the Dirty Robber, which I don't. We spent a ton of time together, but we just never went to each other's homes, until that night when Hoyt got out and Ma was driving me crazy."

"I had to work really hard to pretend not to be excited when you said you were coming."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'd never had a friend like you before, and I was constantly afraid you would decide I was too weird and run away. But instead you kept coming closer, and you started calling me your best friend. And then you came to spend the night with me."

"And you just casually slid into bed beside me."

"That was when you wanted to kiss me?"

"The most beautiful girl in the world was in bed with me. Yes, I wanted to kiss you."

Maura was quiet for a moment. "I wish you had."

"What would you have done?"

"I think I would have kissed you back."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Damn. I wish I had too, then." Jane studied her wife's face, pondering what might have been. "If we'd gotten together back then, the whole Casey thing wouldn't have happened. Which means the conversation I just had with Casey wouldn't have happened."

"I would never have gone out with Dennis Rockmund."

"Yeah, that is something I would have loved to prevent. Also, I would never have had a thing with Dean. And if there was no Dean, I might not have shot your father."

"I wouldn't have dated Byron either."

"Who the hell is Byron?"

"Dr. Slucky."

"Ugh, yeah. And Giovanni would never have tried to lick your face."

Maura laughed, pulling up in front of the hotel. She turned the car over to the valet. "I wonder what other regrettable things we would have done by now if we still weren't together," she mused as they entered the posh lobby.

"Well, I'm certain I would have actually had a real relationship with Casey, and I'm afraid to think where that might have led. I might have ended up having _his_ baby instead of you having mine. Can you imagine?"

"I suppose I've grown possessive, because I don't like to imagine you having anyone's baby other than possibly mine." They stepped onto a wood-paneled elevator. "I think I probably would have gone out with the professor I met when I taught that class at BCU," she said thoughtfully.

"Well, who knows, I might have gone for it with that shiny jacket dude who hit on me while I was working that fish case."

Maura laughed as they stepped out into the hallway. "Or maybe you would have gotten back together with Martinez."

"No, he's a douche. But you'd still be legally married to what's-his-face."

"Edward. Yes, I would, because I still wouldn't know the annulment didn't go through."

Jane unlocked the door to their suite, shaking her head at the memory of that debacle. Early in the planning process for their wedding, Maura had confessed to Jane that she had been married once before in college, just for a night. Jane was surprised, but also a bit amused, and had promised Maura that her youthful mistake had no effect on Jane's desire to marry her now. Then, out of a sense of morbid curiosity, Jane had conducted a background search on Edward, revealing that the marriage hadn't been annulled after all. So then they had to track him down and get an actual divorce so Maura could marry Jane.

"Well, I think we both can agree that our lives are much better for being together," said Maura.

Jane smiled, watching her wife remove her shoes and start taking off her jewelry. "As far as I'm concerned," she said, "my life didn't officially begin until you were in it."


	6. Chapter 6

"It was nice to get to spend time with you," Maura said, walking out of the lecture with her father.

"I can't even begin to say how happy I am that you came."

"You can thank my mother-in-law for that. She helped me see that the way things have been isn't really working for anyone involved, and maybe it's time to make a change."

"She sounds like a very wise woman."

"She is. You could get to know her better if you come to visit me sometime."

"Perhaps I will. I haven't seen your house yet."

"I know, and I've lived there over four years now. Jane and I just moved back in. You and Mom should visit, especially after the baby's born."

"I am certainly looking forward to meeting my first grandchild. I must admit, I was afraid you wouldn't want me involved."

"I don't think this innocent child should be affected by our problems from years ago. At least I know you and Mom won't mind that the baby isn't biologically mine."

"Actually, I would love to see what your biological child would be like. But I'm sure we will love this one just as much."

"It is our hope to eventually have a second child with one of my eggs, but we're operating on the expectation that everyone in the family will treat both children the same regardless of DNA."

"I don't think you'll have a problem with us."

Maura smiled. "Thank you. I'd better go home and get some rest. Manufacturing a placenta is exhausting work!"

"Yes, you'd better. I hope to do this again soon."

Maura nodded hesitantly. "I'd like that."

Her father looked at her longingly, and she realized he was hoping she would hug him. She couldn't remember the last time she'd done that. Usually if her mother was present she just gave him a kiss on the cheek; if her mother wasn't present, she showed no affection at all. But she was trying to start over again with him, if possible, and she felt it was particularly important with a baby on the way. So she stepped forward and hugged him.

She was surprised by how emotional she felt with her dad's arms around her. A long, long time ago, this had been a safe place; probably the safest in the world. Jane was her safe place now, but it struck her how much she'd missed out on during all those years of being unable to trust her father. She sincerely hoped she would be able to get a lot of that trust back over time.

When she got home, she found Jane waiting up for her.

"How did it go?" Jane asked hopefully from the couch, where she had been paging through a magazine in her pajamas.

Maura opened her mouth to speak, but instead she began to cry. Jane leapt up from the couch and gathered Maura in her arms.

"So it didn't go well?" Jane asked.

"It went really well," sobbed Maura.

"Oh. Then why are you crying?"

"I missed him!" Maura clung to Jane, who gently stroked her hair. "I thought I stopped missing him, but I didn't. I miss him a lot!"

"But you have him back now, right? More or less?"

"Yes, but I'll never get back all those years that I lost. Why didn't I just talk to him?"

"You are the daughter. He is the parent. _He_ should have talked to _you_."

"But he didn't, so I should have."

"Oh, honey, don't beat yourself up. This is fifty percent the pregnancy hormones talking anyway."

"You think so?"

"I'm certain of it." Jane kissed Maura's head firmly. "Come on, let's get you ready for bed. It's been a long day."

XXX

When Maura woke up, the clock said 4:24 a.m., and Jane was out cold. What woke Maura was a need, actually two overwhelming needs, that she had to fulfill as quickly as possible. The first was the all too familiar need to empty her bladder. The other was something she knew she shouldn't do.

She got out of bed as quietly as possible and crept into the bathroom to take care of the first need. She tried to talk herself out of the other one, but she felt like she'd die if she didn't just do it. She certainly would never get back to sleep if she didn't. So she went downstairs very, very slowly, trying to keep the stairs from creaking. Jane absolutely could not know about this.

It didn't take her long to find what she needed, and once she started, it just felt too _good_ to be wrong. She was in the throes of ecstasy when the kitchen light suddenly came on. She whirled around to see her wife standing with her arms crossed, watching her.

"Jane!" she exclaimed, her eyes huge. "It's…it's not what it looks like."

"Really," said Jane. "Because it _looks_ like you're eating Fluff straight out of the jar with a wooden spoon."

Maura looked down at the jar in her hands. "Okay," she said evenly. "It _is_ what it looks like."

Jane looked like she was struggling not to laugh. "I'm guessing this is one of those pregnancy craving things?"

"Yes," said Maura, putting the spoon down inside the jar. "But…it has no nutritional value."

Jane took the jar and looked at the label. "It does not," she confirmed. "But, I don't think the baby's going to come out looking like the Staypuft Marshmallow Man just because you gave in to a craving."

"No, but I should have better self-control. If I can't even stop myself from eating Marshmallow Fluff when I'm pregnant, how will I say no when the child wants ice cream for dinner?"

"Maura, I'm a grown woman, and you won't let _me_ eat ice cream for dinner. I don't think it's going to be a problem with the kid. You had a craving; it does not reflect on your skills as a parent." She handed the jar back. "Go ahead and eat it. It'll be fine."

"I shouldn't," said Maura, hanging her head. "I should eat something that's good for the baby."

"A happy mommy _is_ good for the baby. At least lick the spoon."

Maura uncertainly removed the spoon from the jar and began to lick off the remaining Fluff.

"That's my girl," said Jane, taking the jar and putting it away. "You're already an incredible mother. You have nothing to worry about."

Maura finished licking the spoon in silence and then put it in the sink. "I hugged my father tonight," she said finally.

"That's good!"

"It made me feel like I was five again. I remembered when he would carry me around and I felt like I was in the safest place in the world, and I really missed that."

Jane nodded. "I know what you mean."

"When this baby is born, it's going to think that it's in the safest place in the world when one of us is holding it."

"And it'll be right. We're not letting anything happen to this kid." Jane put her hands on Maura's hips and pulled her closer, wanting the baby to be closer to her as well.

Maura took a deep breath. "We have to make sure that nothing ever happens to make our children stop feeling safe in our arms, no matter how old they get. I don't want them to ever feel the way I feel right now."

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura. "We will never betray their trust the way your father did. I promise."

"And we won't tell them what their grandfather did, so it won't color their opinion of him."

"There's no reason why we should," Jane agreed, rubbing Maura's back. "Now think of something happier. Tell me about our baby. How big is it now?"

"Up to two inches long. It's considered a fetus now instead of an embryo."

"Mm hm. You told me that last week."

"It can suck its thumb now."

"Wow, really? I don't think it even had a thumb when we did the ultrasound."

"It was working on growing one. Most of its organs should be functioning now, and it's starting to form either male or female genitals."

"How soon do we find out which?"

"I'll have another ultrasound at 20 weeks. We'll be able to see then."

"If you could choose, what would it be?"

"I don't get to choose, so there's no point in thinking about what I want it to be."

"You want a girl, don't you."

"More than anything. But not for the reasons you think."

"Oh really? What are the reasons I think?"

"You think I want a girl so I can put her in little designer clothes and do her hair."

"So you don't want to do those things?"

"Of course I do. But that isn't why I want a daughter. I want one because so many people still think girls just need to be pretty. We would be such good parents for a little girl, because I would teach her things like science and math and fencing, and you would teach her things like basketball and baseball and self-defense. And yes, I would teach her how to coordinate outfits and do her hair, but she would also have you to teach her that a girl doesn't have to worry about her appearance if she doesn't want to."

"I'm just going to let that comment slide for now," Jane muttered.

"And we would both teach her that women can have any kind of career they want, even in a male-dominated field. I think we would raise a smart, capable, confident girl in a world that tries to keep girls from being any of those things."

"I think you're right," said Jane.

"But I've been picturing the baby as a boy, so I won't be disappointed if it is," Maura confessed. "I have no doubt that I would love it the same either way, and I think we'd be great parents for a boy as well. Boys also need to have female role models who are smart and successful so they learn to expect those things from women and not see it as a bad thing."

"I think we're going to be amazing parents to whatever kid we have."

Maura tilted her head back to smile at Jane. "What do you want? Boy or girl?"

"I'll be happy either way this time."

"But not next time?"

"I will be, but next time we're using your egg, so I'm hoping for a girl. A little Maura."

"It won't be a little me any more than you're a little Angela," Maura chastised her, but she couldn't help feeling pleased that Jane wanted that.

"Well, _you're_ always telling me I'm just like my mother," said Jane. "I don't think you're a little Hope, but if we have a daughter who's as much like you as you are like Hope, I'll be thrilled."

"You don't even like Hope."

"I tolerate her. I'm trying to like her, for your sake."

"How can you dislike her, but love me, and still say I'm like her?"

"You have her looks, only you're even prettier. And you have her smarts, but you're even smarter. And you have her aptitude for science and medicine. In those ways you're like her. But your heart didn't come from any of your parents. It's just you."

"Will you be disappointed if we have a boy from my egg?"

"Of course not. There's no way you, or our children, could ever disappoint me."

Maura stood on her tiptoes to kiss Jane and then laid her head on Jane's shoulder. Jane held her tight.

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

" _This_ is the safest place in the world for me now."

Jane swallowed, giving her a little squeeze. "Yeah. Me too."


	7. Chapter 7

Jane was walking towards her desk in the squad room when Maura appeared out of nowhere, grabbed her hand, and dragged her onto the elevator.

"Hi," Jane said in surprise. "Is everything all right?"

Maura pushed the "close doors" button. "Kent _kissed_ me," she informed Jane.

Jane recoiled in shock and horror. "What? On the _lips_?"

"Yeah. We were just talking and suddenly he just… _kissed_ me," Maura said, her eyes wide.

"I'm gonna kill him."

"He knows I'm married to you. And that I'm having your baby."

"I know!"

"And he's my subordinate!"

"I know!"

"So even if I weren't married to you, any romantic involvement would be strictly out of the question."

" _I know!_ I will _kill_ him. Where is he?"

"He's…no. You can't kill him. I have to talk to him."

"You can talk to him while you're doing his autopsy."

The elevator doors opened and they stepped out into the basement, Maura making a beeline for the autopsy room. Jane thought maybe that was where Kent was, so she followed her. But he wasn't there.

"I'm serious, Maura, tell me where he is so I can do my job."

Maura whirled around. "No, _you_ need to let me do _my_ job," she said sternly. "I'm his boss. He stepped out of line, so it's my job to talk to him. I'm only telling you for moral support."

"So you're going to fire him, right?"

Maura sighed. "Only as a last resort. First I want to find out why he did it."

"Why do you _think_ he did it? His boss is hot, so he made a move. It's sexual harassment. So fire his ass."

"The more I think about it, though, the more I think he was just trying to distract me." She frowned. "I'm not sure why he wanted to distract me, but the way it happened, I just don't really think it was intended to be romantic or sexual. It was like he just wanted me to stop talking."

"I will kill him," Jane repeated.

"Please, Jane. Let me handle it. If I need your help, I'll let you know."

Jane sighed. "Fine. But I have my gun, so all you have to do is say the word."

She left Maura to do her thing, but she was seething. That man had no right, and Maura should _not_ be putting up with it. She understood why Maura wanted to handle it herself, and she knew _she'd_ be out of line if she tried to handle it for her. She would wait and see what happened when Maura talked to him, and then she'd decide if she needed to take any additional action.

Maura didn't get a chance to talk to Kent until the next day. Jane ran into him once before that talk, but she simply smiled and said hi. It wasn't a friendly smile, and he definitely knew it. He looked scared. _Good_ , Jane thought. _He damn well better be scared of me_.

"Did you finally talk to Kent?" Jane asked as she unlocked her car at the end of the day.

"I did," Maura said, getting into the passenger seat. "I was right. He just wanted to distract me."

"From _what_?"

"He was supposed to call a family with a cause of death, but talking to grieving families is hard for him because of what he experienced in Afghanistan. He was desperate to get me off the subject, so he made an impulsive decision that he regrets very much."

"So that's it? You're not going to do anything to him?"

"I took him to notify the family. I want to work with him and get him over this, because if he can't do his job, then he shouldn't be here. And I expect my staff to do what I ask them to do."

"But you also expect them not to forcibly kiss you, right?"

"Of course. He apologized profusely, and I talked to him about the many reasons why it was inappropriate. He knows he will be dismissed if anything like that happens again."

Jane sighed. "Maura, you're too—"

"Don't say I'm too nice. I'm being compassionate, Jane, which I think is a good thing. I know you don't want him near me after this, but I don't think he has designs on me, and I believe it's important to give people second chances. We all make mistakes, Jane. I know you've done things before that could have gotten you fired, and you were grateful for the compassion shown by your superiors."

"Fine," Jane sighed. "As long as you're comfortable with the situation, I suppose it isn't my place to interfere."

"Thank you for acknowledging that," said Maura. "Now, if we can move on to a different subject, I think this weekend would be a good time to go maternity shopping."

"You need maternity clothes already?" Maura had started to develop a very subtle bump, but it wasn't even visible with her clothes on.

"Not really yet, but my pants are starting to get a little tight, and I don't want to wait until the last minute to get what I need. I'm starting to feel more energetic, and the nausea is almost gone, so now is a good time to get some things done."

"Okay, well, I guess you're going to have to get used to wearing normal people clothes for a while."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, they don't really make designer maternity clothes, do they?"

Maura frowned. "Why wouldn't they?"

"Fine. What do I know?"

"I was hoping you'd come with me so I could get your opinion on some of the things I pick out. I want to at least have a few outfits that really get your attention!"

Jane laughed. "You always have my attention. Do they even make sexy maternity clothes, though? I mean, it's not like pregnant women can wear pencil skirts and shit."

Maura looked at her oddly.

"I'm wrong again, aren't I?"

Maura nodded. "I think coming with me would be very educational for you."

Jane groaned. "Fine. But you'd better come up with some really sexy outfit to make it worth my while."

Maura smiled. "Challenge accepted."

XXX

Jane wasn't done with Kent by any means, but she would deal with him on Monday. Her first task was to survive shopping for maternity clothes with her wife.

"I'm officially in the second trimester now, so it's time to get more serious about preparing for the birth," Maura said as she drove them to the maternity clothes shop. "I've signed up for prenatal yoga and water aerobics classes, which I start in two weeks."

"Water aerobics? I thought only old ladies did that."

"Exercising in water engages the abdominal muscles, and women with stronger abs during pregnancy recover more quickly after giving birth. I'm also looking for a childbirth education class we can take together in the third trimester."

"Maura, why do you even need a childbirth education class? What can they possibly teach you that you don't already know? Aside from the fact that you know _everything_ , you've actually delivered a few babies before."

"I haven't given birth to one. And there's plenty for _you_ to learn."

Jane sighed. "So how big is the baby now?"

"It should be around two and a half to three inches long. About the size of a goldfish."

"We're having a goldfish. Got it."

Maura laughed, parking the car in front of a fancy little boutique. "The facial features should be pretty well formed by now. If we could see in there, we might be able to tell if it looks like you." She looked at Jane adoringly, and Jane smiled, wishing she _could_ see. She didn't really care that much if the kid looked like her, but she supposed it was better than having a kid who looked like the sperm donor. Although the sperm donor did kind of resemble Maura, at least in his baby picture.

They fed the meter and walked into the store, which was a lot like the other clothing boutiques Maura had dragged Jane to in the past, only this one just sold maternity clothes. They looked very similar to the clothes Maura normally wore, though. And they had _everything_. Work clothes, yoga clothes, swimwear, pajamas. There were bras and nightgowns for after the baby came that easily opened up so you could get your boob out. Maura was of course in her element and began happily browsing while Jane followed along feeling like a fish out of water. Maura pulled things off of racks, scrutinized them, and then either put them back or handed them to Jane. Soon Jane's arms were full of maternity clothes, and Maura was finally ready to try things on.

"The dressing rooms aren't that big, so you'll have to wait out here," Maura told Jane. "But I'll come out and model things for you."

"Okay." Jane had done this plenty of times before, so she just handed over the bundle of clothes and found a place to sit. Several minutes later, Maura came out wearing a sexy sleeveless black dress trimmed in lace, with a neckline that dipped down just enough to show a tiny bit of cleavage. It was really a gorgeous dress, but it wasn't what stood out to Jane. What stood out was that Maura looked about nine months pregnant.

"Maura, what the hell?" Jane exclaimed, motioning to her wife's suddenly rather large stomach.

"It's a prosthesis they have in the dressing room, so you can see how everything will fit later in the pregnancy. What do you think?" She turned this way and that, one hand on the fake stomach. _This is what she'll really look like in a few months_ , Jane thought, and suddenly she was hit with a wave of emotion just like when she saw their baby on the ultrasound screen. Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over before she could stop them.

Maura stopped smiling. "Jane, are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Jane said, hastily wiping her tears away. "You look beautiful. I just…"

"Come here." Maura pulled Jane into a standing position and led her into the dressing room, closing the door behind them. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I don't know why I'm so emotional. You'd think _I_ was the pregnant one."

Maura smiled gently. "Tell me what's making you emotional."

"Seeing you look the way you'll look later. It just makes it that much more real."

Maura nodded. "It does."

"And I did this to you. Not physically, but…"

"In a sense, you did. This is something we planned together, and I wouldn't be pregnant right now if it weren't for you."

"Right. And your body's going through a lot of changes, and if any of those changes turn out to be bad for you, it'll be my fault."

Maura took Jane's hands in hers. "Jane," she said softly, "I've heard that men often tell their pregnant wives that they would carry the baby for them if they could. Which is a little hollow, because they know they can't. But before I got pregnant, you made that very offer, and it was a serious offer, because you could have actually done this. Which means that I am carrying this baby right now because _I_ want to, not because I have to or because you made me. It is one hundred percent my choice, and I take full responsibility for anything that happens."

"You can't take _full_ responsibility. Like you said, we planned this together."

"This pregnancy is not on any level something you did to me, Jane. It's a gift you gave to me. It's something I want very much and wouldn't have if not for you. And it makes me love you that much more." She put her arms around Jane's neck and kissed her.

Jane held Maura as close as she could with the prosthetic stomach between them. "I'm not just emotional because I'm scared. The whole thing is just… _amazing_. And terrifying. I'm watching our wildest dream come true." She stepped back and looked Maura up and down. "You're going to be so incredibly beautiful when you're this pregnant."

Maura grinned. "So you like the dress?"

Jane cleared her throat. "I love it. You look sexy."

"You want me to get it?"

"You'd better!"

"You'll have to take me out someplace nice so I have a reason to wear it."

"I think I can handle that."

Maura gave her a huge smile and Jane, feeling a little more normal, went back out to let her finish trying things on. An hour later, they left the boutique with four bags of maternity clothes, including a few pencil skirts.

XXX

On Monday, Jane waited for her opportunity. Kent probably thought the worst was over and that he was going to get by with what he'd done, but he was wrong.

In the middle of the afternoon, he came upstairs to bring test results to Frankie. Jane pretended at first to be minding her own business, but when Kent headed back to the elevators, he found Jane waiting for him.

"Hi," she said, giving him the same smile she gave to suspects she knew she was about to nail.

"Detective Rizzoli," he said, not returning her smile.

"Could I talk to you in the break room for a minute?"

He hesitated, looking like he'd rather do literally anything than talk to Jane in the break room. "Sure," he said, sounding defeated. He followed her into the break room and watched in resignation as she closed the door behind them.

"I imagine you know what I want to talk to you about," Jane said, folding her arms.

"I assume Dr. Isles told you about my…transgression."

Jane chuckled. "Your 'transgression.' That's cute." Her smile vanished. "Maura is my wife."

"I know, Detective, and I really didn't mean any harm. For the record, I have no romantic interest in Dr. Isles."

"You're damn right you don't. But I don't need to lecture you about the wrongness of kissing somebody else's wife. You already know that. And I don't need to tell you about the inappropriateness of kissing your boss, because I'm sure Maura already went over that with you."

"Yes, she did," he said warily.

"So I'm going to tell you something you might not have thought of."

He sighed. "I'm all ears."

She gathered her thoughts, trying to think of a way to say this that wouldn't make Maura upset if she found out. "I know you haven't worked here long, and there's a lot you don't know. But some of your coworkers have been here for years, and I'm sure you've heard them talk. I'm sure you know that Maura has been through a lot in the past."

"Yes."

"What have you heard about her abduction two years ago?"

"I heard that she was taken by a serial killer, that she'd been working the case. And that she was…sexually assaulted."

Jane nodded grimly. "What you did, kissing her when she didn't want to be kissed, could have been very triggering for her."

"I'm sorry, Detective. I didn't think."

"Obviously not. But you're going to think next time, and do you know why?"

"Because I care about her well-being?"

"Sure. And because you're going to see my face in your mind any time you have some stupid impulse from now on. Did you happen to hear anything about what I did to the man who took Maura?"

"You killed him."

She nodded. "I knocked him down a flight of stairs and then shot him through the heart three times. I had to kill him fast, because I needed to get Maura out of there as quickly as possible. But I've had two years to think about all the things I would have done to him if I'd had the time to kill him slowly. And if anyone were stupid enough to do something that caused Maura to have some kind of flashback or nightmare about that man, I can't promise my rage wouldn't come out on that person. I can't say for sure that I wouldn't do some of those things I've thought about, even if it cost me my badge."

Kent grimaced. "Message received, Detective Rizzoli. May I get back to work now?"

"Go."

Kent hurried out of the break room and took the stairs rather than wait for the elevator. It wasn't until he was gone that Jane realized she was shaking.


	8. Chapter 8

Maura opened her eyes in the darkness and looked at the clock. 3:04 a.m. Once again, she had been awakened by two urgent needs. The first, as always, was a trip to the bathroom, which she quickly took care of. Then she returned to the bedroom and stared at the other thing she desperately needed. This one was sprawled across the bed, long limbs flung out in different directions, dark curls spilling across the pillow. She was already naked, and she looked delicious.

Maura bit her lip. Waking Jane up on a work night seemed wrong. It might even be worse than eating Fluff straight out of the jar (which she was still doing sometimes). Jane needed her rest, and they'd already made love before going to bed. Maura's sex drive had recently returned with a vengeance, and sweet Jane was doing her best to keep up.

Looking at Jane's nude form, only partly covered by blankets, only served to turn Maura on further. Jane was lying on her stomach, the swell of her breast just slightly visible against the mattress. Even in her sleep she seemed to radiate a sort of sexual energy. Maura couldn't take it anymore.

"Jane," she said urgently, climbing into bed and grabbing her wife's arm. "Jane, wake up. I need you."

Jane opened her eyes in alarm. "What's wrong? What do you need?"

"I need _you_." Maura bent down to kiss Jane's face and neck before running her tongue along Jane's shoulder.

"Again?" Jane groaned. "It's the middle of the night, and we have work in the morning."

"I know, but the higher levels of estrogen in my body are causing increased blood flow to my genitals, which means my clitoris and vagina are—"

"Yes. I get it. You're horny. You could have said that in one word."

Maura moved her tongue back up Jane's shoulder and neck, simultaneously running a hand lightly down Jane's back and over a firm buttock. "The orgasms you gave me last night were exceptionally powerful," she whispered into Jane's ear.

"Mmm." Jane smiled, and Maura knew she had her. "Your pussy was exceptionally wet last night."

"That's also caused by—"

"Okay, I don't need the scientific explanation for everything." She rolled onto her back. "Let's do this."

Maura eagerly straddled her and began grinding against her. "I love you so much," she breathed.

"Mm. Likewise." Jane reached up to touch her wife, ghosting her fingers lightly over Maura's shoulders and arms, then over her breasts. Maura knew she was being extra gentle because Maura's breasts were still sore. "Your nipples are a little wet," she remarked, her voice still sleepy.

"I'm already starting to produce colostrum," Maura replied cheerfully.

"Mmkay. Well, you can tell me more about that when we're not having sex." Jane's hands continued their path downwards, over the subtle but growing bump underneath Maura's belly button, down onto her clit. Maura cried out at the unusually intense sensation. "I want you inside," she pleaded. Jane quickly obliged and Maura rode her fingers, gasping with pleasure.

"Jane, my Jane, this feels so good," she moaned.

"It does," Jane agreed, gazing up at Maura adoringly. "I never really get tired of being inside of you."

Maura moved harder and faster on Jane's fingers. "Keep talking."

"About what?"

"Anything. I just want to hear your voice."

"Well, your tits look huge."

"Do you like them?"

"Honey, I will go to my grave thinking about your tits." Jane teased Maura's clit with her thumb, curling her fingers inside of her, the other hand supporting her.

"Oh Jane…Jane… _Jaaaaaaaane_!" Maura gripped the bedsheets as a body-consuming orgasm rocked her. She was glad Jane had a name that was pleasant to yell during an orgasm. Yelling names like "Garrett" or "Edward" or even "Ian" had never felt nearly as good. She needed that long vowel sound.

"You good for now?" Jane asked as Maura collapsed onto her, panting.

"Mm hm. Unless you want me to do you?"

"I'm gonna try to get some sleep. The alarm goes off in two hours." She kissed Maura and soon drifted off the sleep. Maura wasn't entirely sated, but after a bit, she was able to sleep too.

XXX

Things were a little slow at work that day. Maura spent most of the day behind her computer, trying not to think about her swollen genitalia. She shifted in her chair quite a bit. When it was getting close to lunchtime, she sent Jane a text:

 _If you're not busy, could you come to my office for a bit?_

Thirty seconds later, a reply came:

 _Are you having the same problem you had at 3 am?_

Maura couldn't help but smile. Jane knew her so well.

 _Yes. Can you help me?_

Maura waited for the phone to buzz with her response. It occurred to her that if Jane couldn't help, she could try putting her cell phone up her skirt and then calling it from her desk phone. That might do the trick, although she was pretty sure it would be a misuse of Commonwealth property, not to mention that she shouldn't keep the office line tied up like that, and it would certainly be hard to explain if someone looked at the phone records and saw she had called herself over and over again. But then the phone vibrated innocently on her desk, with Jane's answer:

 _I'll be down in a few._

 _Oh, she'll be going down, all right_ , thought Maura, excitedly getting up to make sure all the blinds were closed. She wondered if she should start keeping them closed most of the time so her staff wouldn't suspect that she and Jane were, well, doing what they were doing. She liked being able to see what was going on around her, though. For instance, with the blinds closed, she couldn't see Jane coming until she was already in the office, closing and locking the door behind herself.

"All right, milady," Jane announced dramatically. "Your knight in shining armor has arrived to save you from your pregnant horniness."

"It'll only be a temporary save," Maura said, hastily removing her panties from under her skirt. "But I'm ready. I'd like you to perform cunnilingus on me."

Jane slid her arms around Maura, her hands creeping downward. "You sound so businesslike. Are you going to pay me for this?"

"Only if you do a good job." Jane as a prostitute—now there was an idea for another time. She wondered if there was any chance she could ever get Jane to wear fishnets, like she was wearing the first time Maura saw her. Just the thought made her wetter than she already was. "Oh, Jane," she moaned, feeling Jane's lips on her neck. "We don't have much time for foreplay. Just go ahead and dine on me."

Jane burst out laughing. "That sounds a little cannibalistic."

"What is the phrase you say, then?"

"You want me to eat you out," Jane whispered in her ear.

"Yes." She felt another gush of wetness and was glad she'd already removed her panties. They would be soaked. "Eat me out," she murmured.

Hearing Maura say that seem to do something to Jane. She pushed Maura up against the wall, and hiked her skirt up. Then she knelt down before her and took Maura into her mouth, licking hard and fast. Maura cried out involuntarily, much louder than she meant to. She cried out even louder a few minutes later when she had another earth-shattering orgasm.

"Maura," said Jane, carefully smoothing Maura's skirt out, "I think it's becoming more difficult to keep all the lab people from knowing what we're doing in here."

"They know I'm under doctor's orders to take regular breaks from work," Maura huffed. "Do you want me to do you?"

"I'll wait till we get home." Jane stood up. "In the meantime, why don't we go get some actual food?"

"I think the baby and I would enjoy that," Maura admitted, pulling her panties back on.

Jane hugged Maura from behind, pressing her mouth to Maura's ear. "The appetizer was delicious though," she said in a low voice.

And then Maura was wet all over again.

XXX

"You're going to jump my bones as soon as we're done eating, aren't you?" Jane asked when they were home with the carryout they'd gotten for dinner.

"If 'jump your bones' means 'have immediate sex with you,' then yes," Maura admitted. "I've hardly been able to think about anything else all day."

"Me too. This horny stage is exhausting, but it certainly has its perks. I'm gonna take a shower first though. I had to tackle a bad guy this afternoon, and I kinda want to wash him off of me before I get my hands all over you. And _this_ time, you're going to do me too."

Maura grinned. They finished eating quickly and Jane went upstairs to take her shower. Maura was just tidying the kitchen when she heard the doorbell ring. She went into the foyer, peered through the sidelight, and froze for a second when she saw who was on the other side. She opened the door.

"Ian."

"Maura," he said with a smile. He had luggage with him, as if he expected to stay, as he had always done before. The last time she saw him, she had thrown herself into his arms. This time she stood rooted to the spot, dumbfounded.

"Are you going to let me in?" he asked, confused.

"Of course," she said, stepping aside. "I'm just very surprised to see you here. The last time I heard from you was close to four years ago, and you were saying that you have found someone else. Someone serious."

"Yes. Well, it didn't work out."

"I'm sorry to hear that." She held up her left hand so he could see her wedding and engagement rings. "It did for me."

"Wow, you're—you're married. Congratulations!"

"Thank you. We've been married for a year and four months now."

"Wow. Is he—is he home?"

Maura smiled. "She's upstairs taking a shower."

"She?"

"Remember Jane? You met her, last time I saw you. You did a phenolisation procedure on her."

"Yes, your friend from work. You married her?"

Maura nodded. "She's the love of my life."

"Well, I'm…I'm happy for you."

"Thank you. But I'm sure you understand why you can't stay here tonight."

"No, of course. I'll find a hotel."

"But you can certainly stay and talk for a bit."

"I'd like that."

"I'm just going to go up and tell Jane you're here so she doesn't wander down in a towel."

Maura went up and found her wife standing naked in the steamy bathroom, toweling off her lithe body. She paused for a moment to take in the sight.

"Sneaking up on people and staring at them while they're naked is creepy," Jane said, drying her hair.

"Not when you're married to the person," Maura smiled. "Ian's here."

Jane's head snapped around. " _What!?_ "

"He just showed up out of nowhere. He seemed to be expecting to stay the night."

"You told him he can't, right?"

"Of course! But I said he could stay for a little while, so we could catch up. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I mean, he's sort of my mortal enemy, but…I trust you. I'll stay out of your way."

Maura kissed her. "Come down later. I want him to see you." She braced herself and went downstairs.

Ian was standing by the fireplace, looking at the pictures on the mantle. Those pictures told a story all by themselves, a story of a life Maura and Ian could never have had together.

"You made a beautiful bride," he told her.

"Thank you. Jane had always dreamed of getting married in Fenway Park, while I had a fantasy about getting married on the cliffs of Santorini. Her dream was a little more practical, so we got married at Fenway and spent our honeymoon in Santorini, at a hotel built into the cliffs. Both the wedding and the honeymoon were very beautiful."

"It's good to see you so happy."

"I suppose I never have been _this_ happy before. Would you like some tea?" she asked, walking towards the kitchen.

"Sure. Normally you offer wine though."

"Well, I would, but you'd have to drink the whole bottle yourself. I can't right now." She reflexively put a hand on her belly.

"You're having a baby," he said in surprise.

She broke into a smile. "I'm fifteen weeks along." She put a kettle on the stove.

"Well, congratulations."

"Thank you. We're very excited!"

"I'm a parent now too," Ian said. "The woman I was with—Claire, the one I told you about—she fell pregnant, early in our relationship. We have a son."

"Oh, that's wonderful! What's his name? How old is he?"

"His name is Michael. He just turned three."

Maura did the math. "So when you told me about Claire, she was already pregnant?"

He nodded. "It wasn't planned, of course. I was really in love with her though, and when I found out she was pregnant, I felt I should give her my all. That meant breaking things off with you."

"You did the right thing. When did you and Claire split up?"

"Six months ago."

"Do you still see Michael a lot?"

Ian sighed. "His mother is English. She went back home after we broke up and took Michael with her. I've only seen him once since then."

Maura looked up from making the tea, stunned. "You've only seen your son once in six months, but you found the time to come to Boston?"

"You make it sound so simple."

Maura carried two cups of tea to the dining table so they could sit across from each other. "Isn't it, though? He's your child. I would think he would be your first priority."

"You understand how important my work is."

"I understood when you chose your work over me. I don't understand choosing it over your child. And, to tell you the truth, I don't understand why you came here out of nowhere with your bags as though you expected us to just pick up where we left off. It's been _four years_ , Ian. You really didn't think I'd have moved on?"

"Of course I knew you might have, but I will admit part of me hoped you hadn't. What we had was very special. It transcended time and boundaries."

"It did, for a while. When you told me you'd moved on with Claire, I cried for an hour. And then I felt this overwhelming relief that only grew over time. I realized being hung up on you was keeping me from really living my life. I dated, but I never got serious with anyone. I was always waiting for you to come back." She blinked back tears at the memory. "When you broke things off with me, you set me free. I wasn't waiting anymore. I was free to realize how much I loved Jane. And she has _never_ left me waiting."

"I can tell from the pictures that she makes you very happy."

"She does." Maura smiled a little, but something was bothering her, was pushing insistently at the back of her brain. Ian was being nothing but polite and respectful, but there was still something wrong with the picture.

"I've sometimes wondered what it would have been like to have a child with you," Ian mused. "What our child would have been like. If I'd known you were planning to have a baby with Jane, I might have considered helping you out."

Maura frowned. "We wanted to use an anonymous donor."

"Wouldn't it make sense to use someone you know, so you're aware of their medical background?"

"The fertility clinic where we did IVF actually does genetic testing. The sperm came from a very healthy donor, and the egg came from Jane, who is also very healthy."

"So the baby isn't even yours?"

She frowned again. "Of course it is. It's _ours_."

"I'm sorry. Yes, of course it is."

Suddenly Maura realized what was bothering her. She was _insulted_. She couldn't believe he was so confident she would never stop waiting for him that he just showed up with his bags, expecting her to welcome him with open arms and invite him to spend the night. Did he think she'd never had a life outside of him? Or did he think he was so amazing that he was impossible to get over? Either way, she was insulted.

She heard footsteps on the stairs, and soon Jane appeared in jeans and a t-shirt, the scent of her fruity shampoo strong on her wet hair. Maura found it very arousing.

"Hello, Ian," said Jane, standing next to Maura's chair and putting an arm around her shoulders. "It's good to see you again."

"It's good to see you as well, Jane. How is your toe?"

"It hasn't given me any trouble since you fixed it."

"Good to hear."

Maura smiled up at Jane. Just having her close was reassuring. And that shampoo smell really was _wildly_ arousing. Maura leaned against her.

"It was very good to see you again," she told Ian. "Jane and I need to get to bed soon, though."

"I understand. I'll be off to find myself a hotel room," said Ian, getting up from the table. He gathered his things and Maura saw him to the door. "It feels strange saying goodbye without kissing you goodbye," he said quietly before going out.

"Does it?"

"Well, I suppose it's just me. You look beautiful, Maura. Pregnancy suits you."

"Thank you. Jane says the same thing."

He looked disappointed. "Good night, Maura." He finally went out the door, dragging his luggage with him. Maura locked the door behind him.

"I thought he would never leave!" she said, throwing herself at Jane and covering her with kisses.

"You had a very different reaction the last time he left this house," Jane observed.

"A lot's changed in four years." She nudged Jane towards the stairs, pulling Jane's t-shirt off over her head.

Jane stepped backwards up the stairs, fumbling with the buttons on Maura's blouse. "So what did you and Ian talk about?"

"You. His ex. They have a son together. He doesn't see him much." Maura removed Jane's bra as they reached the top of the stairs. "He seemed genuinely surprised that I've moved on with my life. I'm a bit insulted."

"You should be." Jane tugged Maura's towards the bedroom, sliding her blouse off and unhooking her bra. "He should have known someone would snap up an amazing woman like you."

"Maybe he thought he already did." Maura unzipped her wife's jeans as they crossed the threshold of their bedroom. "He was wrong though. I don't think he'll come back again."

"Good. You know, I don't think I'm jealous of him anymore."

Maura giggled. "You have no reason to be jealous of anyone." They shed the rest of their clothing and fell into bed.

"Well, it's Friday. Shall we go until you've actually had enough?" Jane asked, softly caressing her wife's naked body.

"I don't know if that's possible," said Maura, "but I'd love to find out!"


	9. Chapter 9

"Jane. No, _Jane_!" The cries woke Jane from her already fitful sleep. It was early morning; the alarm would be going off soon. Jane turned towards her wife.

"Wake up, baby," she said, her voice loud but gentle. "You're safe. I'm here."

She hated how often she had to tell Maura those simple words: _you're safe_. It should just be a given. But it never really had been, and Jane didn't know if it was even true now. She and Maura had just gotten back from working a case in Los Angeles. Maura had thoroughly enjoyed what she saw as a paid vacation, but it had been marred by the discovery that Jane's credit card, and both of their debit cards, no longer worked. Nina had looked into it and discovered that someone had hacked into their accounts and shut everything down without taking any of the money. Clearly it was intended solely as sabotage, and clearly the target was Jane. Only their shared checking account and the credit card she'd had since before Maura were affected. Any accounts that bore only Maura's name were left untouched. Furthermore, Nina had found a video that showed a woman's hand holding a lighter in front of their house, which meant that whoever set their house on fire was also responsible for the hack. Jane was being targeted, Maura was collateral damage, and they had no idea who was behind it. Needless to say, Jane was not sleeping well.

Maura opened her eyes. "Jane," she said softly, throwing herself into her wife's arms. "I dreamed it wasn't your baby I was having. It was… _his_."

"Whose?"

"The man who raped me." She started to cry. "You left me when you found out. You said you were going back to Casey."

"Wow, that _was_ a nightmare. The last thing I want to do is get back with Casey." She kissed Maura's head. "Anyway, we're married. Any baby you had would be my baby. Doesn't matter where the sperm comes from, or the egg for that matter."

Maura nodded. "You said if I did have his baby, you would raise it with me."

"I would have, if that was what you wanted."

Maura shuddered. "I'm glad we're having a baby we planned instead. And in real life you didn't get mad at me for being…for being raped."

"No, why in hell would I be mad at you for that?"

"In the dream you said I cheated."

"Obviously the dream me was a stupid asshole."

Maura laughed a little. "I hate having dreams like that. They make me feel like all that stuff just happened."

Jane gave her a squeeze. "I know. But you're safe now, and nothing like that is ever going to happen to you again. I won't let it."

Maura snuggled in closer, then sat up with a jolt. "I think I just felt the baby move!"

Jane sat up too. "For real?"

Maura was a quiet for a moment. "Yes! There it was again! A little fluttery feeling."

"Can I feel it?" Jane asked, putting her hand on Maura's belly. Maura was starting to show enough that you could see it even with her clothes on, but not enough that a casual passerby would be able to tell for sure if she was pregnant or had just eaten a few too many doughnuts.

"No, the baby will have to get a bit bigger before it can kick hard enough to be felt from the outside," Maura said apologetically.

"I am so jealous of you right now." Jane wriggled into the space behind Maura and wrapped her arms around her, putting her hands on Maura's belly. She wondered if the baby knew it had two mommies out here or if it thought the one it lived inside was the only one.

"I don't blame you," Maura said, leaning back against her. "It's really amazing. It makes getting upset over a bad dream seem silly."

"It's not silly," Jane promised. "You just have better things to worry about now." She closed her eyes and savored the feeling of holding her wife and child at the same time. Everything that mattered most was right there in her arms, safe and sound. She wanted to stay like this forever.

XXX

 _Nothing like that is ever going to happen to you again._

It was so easy to say. If only she'd actually had the power to make it true.

Things began escalating not long after their return from L.A. When Korsak became aware that Jane was once again being targeted, he put her on desk duty. Jane was frustrated. She often forgot that Korsak was technically her superior and could do things like that, and she _hated_ having desk duty. Maura, on the other hand, was still working. Jane thought if she was being threatened that Maura should stay behind a desk too, but Korsak didn't have any authority over Maura. Then they found out that the murder victim Maura was doing an autopsy on was the same woman from the video, the one who tried to burn their house down. And in the woman's stomach was a watch Jane's mother had given her, set to a particular time and date. Maura was so scared she hired a bodyguard for Jane, which Jane thought was ridiculous. But when the time and date on the watch arrived, nothing happened.

That was when Jane realized the numbers were actually a code. She found a corresponding Bible verse that said something about paying to the last penny, and that was when it hit her that whoever was doing this was going to hurt someone she loved. At first she thought it would be her mom. After all, the watch was inscribed "love, Ma." If they'd wanted to use something inscribed by Maura, they certainly could have found something while they were in her house. She tried calling her mother, who was home alone, but couldn't get her to pick up. So naturally she alerted Frankie and Korsak and went rushing home to find her mom. Maura was safe in her office at the time, working late even though she wasn't supposed to, trying like everyone else to find out who had it in for Jane before the creep could do any more damage. By the time Jane was able to ascertain that her mother was safe at home, Maura had already been taken.

Nina was able to trace Maura's cell phone, leading them to the fake crime scene Maura had been lured to and abducted from. Maura's phone was on the ground, along with her medical bag. She had probably been trying to answer one of Jane's frantic calls when the perp grabbed her. There were signs of a struggle, but the tracks in the dirt showed that Maura wasn't struggling at all when she was dragged away. That meant she was either unconscious or dead by then.

Jane couldn't believe this was happening again. How was it so difficult to keep the woman she loved safe? And it wasn't just Maura this time; it was their _child_ , too. Jane wondered what had made her think she could do the things normal people did: fall in love, get married, have a baby. At every turn, there was someone trying to destroy everything she had worked for.

She kept thinking about the last time she had seen Maura. She had gone to Maura's office for a bit of a respite, as she often did. And, as always, Maura's very presence was comforting to her. She spoke in her calm voice, smiled her sweet smile, and made Jane feel like everything would be okay somehow. And she looked so gorgeous. Maura was positively _glowing_ now. Jane had always thought her mother was imagining things when she mentioned someone having that "pregnancy glow," but she could actually see it in Maura. Maura even had a scientific explanation, something about increased blood flow to the skin. She was more beautiful than ever, especially when her face lit up every time she felt the baby move again. The baby was, according to Maura, about the size of a gerbil now. It made Jane laugh when she said that because she couldn't help picturing a gerbil living in Maura's womb, just as she had once pictured a goldfish swimming around in there.

Maura had begged Jane to stay in her office and take a nap on the couch. Jane had declined, wanting to get back to solving the case. And then she just left her there.

Now in the squad room, Jane was desperately going through everything they had, trying to find some clue as to who might have taken Maura and where they would have taken her to. _Best case scenario_ , she thought, _she's scared out of her wits but they aren't physically harming her. She'll have really bad flashbacks about the last time she was kidnapped, but we'll get through it._

 _Worst case scenario, they've already killed her._

There were so many scenarios in between those. Jane wished she at least knew what the man who took her was doing to her. If she was being hurt the same way as before, how would she get through it? How much of that shit could one person possibly take?

She twisted her wedding ring, thinking about the inscription Maura had put on the inside: _My hero_. She had chosen those words not just because Jane had saved her before, but because she saw Jane as a hero in general. They had talked about it a few times. Jane never felt particularly heroic, but Maura was always so proud of Jane's willingness to put her own life on the line in order to help others. She said heroes were social deviants, in a good way, which led to conversations about other ways in which Jane deviated from social norms. Her failure to be girly made her a social deviant. Loving Maura made her a social deviant.

Jane had only had one word inscribed inside Maura's ring: _Everything_. It was the only word that could describe what she loved about Maura. She wanted Maura to carry that reminder everywhere she went, that at least one person on the planet loved everything about her no matter what.

Maura deserved her inscription so much more than Jane deserved hers.

"We were going to have an ultrasound two weeks from now," Jane told Korsak out of nowhere. "We were going to find out if it's a boy or a girl."

"We'll find her before then," Korsak promised.

"If she loses the baby," Jane said, her voice breaking, "she'll think it's her fault. I have to find a way to help her see that it's not her fault."

"Jane, you're getting ahead of yourself. There's no sense in planning for the worst when you don't even know what's happening. Maura's strong. She's made it through plenty of bad situations before."

"She wasn't four months pregnant before. And anyway, how much of this sort of thing is she supposed to be able to handle?" Jane asked. "How much am I?"

Korsak didn't have an answer.

XXX

When they did find Maura, alive, the immediate relief was quickly replaced by pain—and anger. First they found the room she had been kept in, where the scent of Maura's perfume still lingered, and saw evidence that she had been chained to a pipe and then to a chair. They also found the word "tunnels" carved in the dust, Maura's breadcrumb for Jane. When they searched the tunnels they found her alone in the dark, trying to run away from her attacker but unable to find the way out. Her hair had been cut off, and the terror in her eyes was at a level Jane had not seen in two and a half years. Not since the last time Maura was taken.

Jane was filled with such uncontrollable rage that she left Maura with Korsak and ran after the man who took her without even finding out first if the baby was okay, or what exactly Harris had done to Maura. All she knew was that she had to find him before he got away, that he deserved to die for whatever he had done. In the end, he made it easy by shooting at her. She shot him twice, tried unsuccessfully to get information out of him, and then watched him die.

When she found Maura again, she was outside, about to be loaded on an ambulance. Jane yelled at the paramedics to wait and ran to the stretcher, needing to touch Maura.

"Jane!" Maura cried out weakly, relief evident in her voice.

"Are you all right?" Jane asked her, struggling not to cry. She turned to the nearest EMT. "How is she?"

"Surface abrasions. Single facial hematoma," Maura answered. "I think the baby is okay. I felt it move a few times. But I'll ask them to do an ultrasound, just to be sure." She looked and sounded exhausted, not even lifting her head from the pillow. Jane turned to the EMT for confirmation.

"What she said," the EMT agreed. "But we're taking her to General for a full workup."

"Okay," Jane said, turning back to Maura. "Did he hurt you?"

Maura shook her head, but she started to cry. "He just wanted to scare me," she whispered.

"He—he's dead, okay? You don't have to worry about him anymore," Jane promised, her voice breaking. She'd never wanted to see Maura like this again.

Maura nodded, not looking terribly surprised to hear that the man was dead. "I heard him on the phone. He isn't working alone. This isn't over."

"It's over for now," Jane assured her.

They were both in tears by the time they were in the ambulance. The EMTs got IV fluids going on the way to the hospital while Jane sat next to her wife and stroked what was left of her hair. "I'm so sorry, Maura," she murmured.

"It's okay. It's nothing like last time. He didn't touch me—not like that."

"How _did_ he touch you?"

"He hit me, and he cut my hair off with a knife. When I saw him get the knife out, I thought he was going to start cutting me, like Hoyt. And you weren't there to stop him. I was really scared."

Jane touched the ragged ends of Maura's hair. She had never seen it this short before. "Why the fuck did he cut your hair off?"

"He wanted to take my picture," Maura said slowly, her voice barely audible. "He took pictures of me to send to you, so you would be upset. He said I was supposed to be the innocent victim and you were supposed to be the ineffectual detective who had to just watch me die."

So he was planning to kill her. "Well. He didn't know me very well, did he?"

"He didn't. I asked why he didn't take your sisters, to test him, and he didn't know you don't have any sisters."

"Did he know you were pregnant?"

Maura slowly shook her head. "He never said anything. I considered mentioning it so he wouldn't hurt me, but then I was afraid he would hurt the baby on purpose, so I didn't."

"That was probably a good idea."

"He used chloroform to take me from the crime scene…from what I thought was a crime scene. I tried to get away. I bit him and he let go of me and I ran, but then he caught me again. And that time I couldn't get away. I passed out."

Jane tensed. "And you're sure he didn't do anything to you while you were passed out?"

"I'm not positive, but I don't feel any pain. At least, not there. My muscles hurt from being dragged around. My lip hurts from being hit. That's all."

 _That's all, she says, as if that weren't enough_. Yes, it could have been worse, but it was still far from okay. Maura wasn't supposed to be treated like that.

At the hospital, they got her cleaned up and changed into a gown. The doctor thought it was best to do both a rape kit and an ultrasound, and he called for an OBGYN doctor to do both. Jane held Maura's hand while they waited and could feel her trembling. She'd been worried that Kent's ill-thought out kiss would be triggering for her, but this was so much worse. There was no point in even wondering if this would trigger her. Maura was going to have nightmares for months now, and there was not a damn thing Jane could do about it.

"What if we find out he did rape me?" Maura whispered.

"Then we'll get through it, like we did before," Jane promised her, trying not to let on that her heart was breaking. She smoothed Maura's hair back out of her face. "You really need sleep."

"So do you," Maura pointed out, studying Jane's face. "I think if he were going to rape me, he would have done it while I was awake, so I would know."

"You're probably right."

The gynecologist who came in was, fortunately, someone who had experience in dealing with situations like this, and she was very gentle and reassuring. Both Jane and Maura breathed sighs of relief when she announced there were no signs of sexual assault. Then she went to get an ultrasound machine.

Jane stood with one hand holding Maura's and the other hand resting on Maura's shoulder as they waited for the image to appear on the screen. Suddenly there it was, clearer than ever before: their baby, who was really starting to look like an _actual_ baby.

"There's a foot," Jane blurted out. "You can see the toes and everything."

"Yes, you can," Maura said softly.

The head came into focus, and they could see clearly defined facial features now. Jane couldn't tell if the kid looked like her or not, but it definitely looked like a person. The view shifted and they could see an arm, hand, fingers. Then it shifted again and they could see the little heart beating in its chest. The view went back to the legs, and Jane could see that the baby was kicking.

"You said you're eighteen weeks along?" the doctor asked. Maura nodded. "Well, I'm sure you'll still want to go to your appointment with your regular OB, but it looks like growth is right on target." She moved the little wand around on Maura's stomach, changing the view again. "I don't see any signs of injury. It's moving around as it should, and the placenta looks normal. I think your body did a good job of protecting the baby."

Jane felt Maura squeeze her hand, and she squeezed back. The view shifted again and they saw the baby open and close mouth, touch its face, and then start sucking its thumb. Jane was entranced, almost forgetting about the horror of the past few days as she watched her baby do what fetuses do. The baby turned a little, crossed and uncrossed its tiny legs. Suddenly Maura drew in her breath.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked, her heart speeding up.

"You see it, don't you?" said the doctor. Maura nodded.

"What? What do you see?" Jane demanded.

Maura looked up at her, eyes shining. "It's a girl."


	10. Chapter 10

"Don't worry," she whispered to the baby. "I'll find a way to get us out of here."

She crawled along the pipe she was chained to, trying to find a weak spot, a way to take it apart. But then she heard footsteps and realized it was too late. Her attacker, whom she still hadn't gotten a good look at, was coming back. She turned her face to the wall and closed her eyes, afraid of what he would do when he got there.

When she opened her eyes, she wasn't in the old hospital room anymore. She was in a bedroom, and it was her ankle, not her hands, that was chained. But the footsteps were still coming up the stairs. She curled into a tight ball under the blanket, knowing she couldn't get away, knowing she couldn't stop the nameless, faceless man from hurting her. He would rip the blanket off and stare down at her bruised, naked body, and then he would inject her. She would wake up with a new tally mark carved into her skin.

When the door flew open, she looked up and found she was back in the abandoned hospital, but she was chained to the bed instead of the pipe. She could clearly see the face of the man who was coming for her, smiling coldly. _He's going to hurt the baby_ , she thought, and she strained uselessly at her handcuffs. She couldn't get away, and he was getting closer. She needed Jane, needed to make Jane find her. Jane would never let this man hurt her or their baby. She started screaming her wife's name, over and over, at the top of her lungs.

And then she was back in her own bedroom, drenched in sweat, and Jane was running through the door.

"Maura! What happened?" Jane asked breathlessly.

"I'm…it was just a nightmare," Maura said, her mouth dry. She reached for Jane, who sat down on the bed next to her and pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back. Maura clung to her, sobs starting to wrack her body in spite of her best efforts to control herself. "I just want people to stop hurting me!" she blurted out, her voice muffled by Jane's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie," Jane whispered. "I should have protected you. I should have known you were the one they would go after."

"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have gone to that fake crime scene."

"You couldn't have known."

Maura noticed that Jane was in her clothes, with her gun belt on. "Why weren't you in bed?"

"I was just checking on things. Making sure the doors were locked. Making sure no one was outside."

"You can't do that every night."

"I can until we figure out who's behind all this."

Maura shook her head. "I need you _here_."

"I know, but I can't let anyone else hurt you. Harris was supposed to kill you. You got away, so now don't you think whoever is behind this will send someone else to finish the job?"

"Possibly, but I'll be safe as long as you're here."

"You'd probably be safer without me. They want to hurt you to get to me."

"I could never be safer without you. What I need is for people to stop taking me away from you."

Jane hugged her tighter. "Is there anything I can do right now?"

"My legs are cramping," Maura admitted.

"I think I can help with that." Jane let go of Maura and moved down the bed to massage her legs.

"Oh, that feels good," said Maura, lying back down. "I feel very fortunate to have a spouse who is willing to do that for me."

"I'd be a pretty crummy spouse if I didn't. I'm the one who knocked you up, more or less. It's the least I can do."

Maura breathed deeply, her tears no longer flowing. "I'm going to call Melanie in the morning. I need to start seeing her again."

Jane looked up, pain in her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I think an event like the one I just went through would be traumatic enough that I would need therapy even if I didn't have a prior trauma to complicate the situation. But I do, and I don't want to lose all the ground I've gained since that experience. I don't want to relapse and be right back where I was two and a half years ago."

Jane looked down, concentrating very hard on kneading Maura's right gastrocnemius muscle. "Well, you do what you have to do."

"You didn't fail me," Maura said gently.

"I'm a detective. They gave me clues about what they were going to do, and I didn't figure it out in time."

"I think it was very reasonable to think they would hurt your mother, given what you had to go on."

"But you're my wife. You're the more obvious choice."

"And I was supposed to be safe at BPD. It would have been smart for me to check with Korsak or someone to see who else was called to the crime scene. I would have known something was wrong if I was the only one."

Jane moved to Maura's left leg. "Yeah, well, you won't have to worry about that again. Korsak says he's taking me off desk duty when I came back. I don't blame him for what happened, but if I hadn't been on desk duty, you wouldn't have been going alone to a crime scene."

"Since you don't blame him, you shouldn't blame yourself either. Korsak was trying to protect you, you were trying to protect your mother, and I was just trying to do my job. None of us were quite in the right place at the right time."

Jane looked up. "Does it bother you that you got hurt because someone has a grudge against me?"

"How would you feel if someone hurt you to get to me?"

"I'd be furious that someone was trying to get you."

Maura smiled. "So you know how I feel. I just want to find the person who's behind this, and I don't want them to hurt either of us anymore. More importantly, I want us to keep living our lives. We have a baby girl on the way!"

Jane smiled in spite of herself. "Yeah. A little girl."

"Are you happy with that news?"

"I'm thrilled. It's like she's sort of taking shape, you know? She's not hypothetical anymore, and she's not an 'it.' She's a she. She's our _daughter_."

"I think we should go ahead and decorate the nursery."

Jane nodded. "But you don't want to make it all pink now that we know it's a girl, do you?"

"I don't want the nursery to be monochromatic. But it's time to give up the yoga room and get it ready for the baby. It'll be much easier to do it now than later in the pregnancy."

"We could just leave the walls green. I think they're pretty."

"We could probably make that work. But we'll need a new rug and drapes, pictures for the walls, and of course, nursery furniture."

"Yeah. It'll be weird, won't it? Having a room all set up for a baby?"

"Not that weird, considering that we _do_ have a baby on the way. I'm nearly halfway through the pregnancy."

"Already? It seems like you just got pregnant."

"It is going my quickly, isn't it?" Maura admitted. "Thank you for massaging my legs. I'd like to try going back to sleep, but I want you to put your gun away and lie down beside me."

Jane reluctantly removed her gun belt and put the gun in her nightstand drawer before cuddling up to Maura.

"Before the baby is born, we're going to get a proper gun safe, and you will need to get used to keeping your gun locked up in there when you're home," Maura said.

"I don't think a newborn is going to grab my gun."

"I don't want to wait for the first time something like that happens to start locking the gun up. I know you're used to having it within your reach, but we're becoming parents now, and that means changing some of our habits. Keeping our daughter safe is more important than anything else."

"Mmm. I suppose you're right."

Maura was just starting to drift off to sleep, feeling safe again with Jane's arms around her, when suddenly she heard a noise downstairs and running footsteps. She sat up in bed, Jane fumbling for her gun beside her. Suddenly Angela burst into the room.

"Janie! I heard something outside!"

"Ma, for—we're in bed! You can't just come in here!"

"I think I heard someone outside though! Maybe it's your stalker!"

"Okay, I'll go check," Jane groaned. She took her gun and started downstairs. Maura got up, shivering, and followed them.

"It sounded like it was coming from the driveway. It was a loud crash."

"It was probably a stray cat or something. Stalkers usually try to be quiet." Jane went out the back door and Maura stood close to her mother-in-law, hugging herself. Suppose Jane didn't come back? Or got hurt? Maura couldn't run out and try to defend her, not while she was pregnant. She really wished they still had that bodyguard, but he had quit after declaring Jane the worst client ever, and Maura couldn't entirely blame him.

"How are _you_ doing, sweetie?" Angela asked her gently.

"I'm okay. I'm having nightmares, but it helps having Jane there. When she's actually in bed."

"She's not always?"

"She keeps getting up to check on things. I think she's hardly sleeping at all."

Angela shook her head. "She never stops worrying. In a way I'm surprised she agreed to even have a baby. It's one more thing for her to constantly worry about."

"She really wanted it," said Maura. "But, she also knew _I_ wanted it."

"Good point. She can't tell you no. It must be nice!"

Jane came banging back through the door. "It was Wilson, the neighbor's dog. He got through the gate and knocked over our garbage can. I took him back home and told them to fix their damn gate."

Angela breathed a sigh of relief. "I was so sure it was someone coming after us!"

"Ma, next time you think there's someone outside, stay where you are and call me. Don't leave the guest house and come into the main house."

"I was already on my way into the house when I heard it."

"What were you doing coming in here in the middle of the night? We could have thought _you_ were an intruder."

"I couldn't sleep and I wanted some hot chocolate, but I don't have any in the guest house."

"That makes three of us," said Maura. "We couldn't sleep either."

"Although we were starting to fall asleep when you barged in," Jane pointed out. "You can't just come into our bedroom whenever you feel like it. What if we hadn't been dressed?"

"I didn't even think of that."

"Married couple, Ma."

"Well I'm sorry! I just thought you'd want to know if the person stalking you was right outside the house!"

Jane sighed, rubbing her face. "I know, Ma. You just have to find a way of letting me know without invading my privacy, and more importantly, _Maura's_ privacy. _She_ didn't grow up with you."

"It's really okay," said Maura. "Since we're all up, why don't I make us all hot chocolate?"

"I'll make it," said Angela. "It's not right to let the pregnant lady do all the work."

Jane frowned. "Why couldn't you sleep, anyway?"

"Don't be silly, Jane. We're all awake for the same reason. My daughter has a stalker. My daughter-in-law and my new grandbaby were abducted. Those things weigh on my mind the same way they do on yours."

Maura watched Angela stirring cocoa and milk in a pan on the stove. She'd never had homemade hot chocolate like that before meeting Angela, and it was the best she'd ever tasted.

"I'm sorry, you guys," said Jane. "Someone's really pissed at me, and I've pissed off so many people I can't even guess who it is. I just never thought someone would hurt my _family_ like this."

Maura stepped closer to Jane and rubbed her back. "You have enemies because you're good at what you do," she said softly. "I wouldn't want you to change anything."

"I would," said Angela. "You could choose a less dangerous profession."

"I'm not letting this creep force me out of a job I love. The only way I would quit being a cop is if Maura asked me to."

"You would?" Maura asked, startled.

"Well, yeah. You're my wife. The mother of my child. It anyone's earned the right to boss me around, it's you."

Maura smiled fondly at her. "I don't want to boss you around."

"Oh, please. You've been doing it for years."

"Well, I definitely don't want you to quit your job."

"Then I won't. Sorry, Ma."

"I knew you'd say that," Angela sighed, pouring hot chocolate into mugs and handing them out.

"I'm going to do a better job of keeping you safe though," Jane promised, looking at Maura. "What happened to you is not going to happen again. I know I've said that to you before, and I was wrong, but I'm going to keep trying harder. You deserve better, and so does she." She put her hand on Maura's belly.

Maura put her hand over Jane's. "I know you're going to do your best. But I also think it's important for us to try not to live in fear."

"I don't plan to live in fear," Jane said fiercely. "I just want anyone who might be thinking of hurting you to live in fear of _me_."


	11. Chapter 11

"I think it looks pretty good so far," Jane said, surveying the nursery from the doorway. It had taken a few weeks, but they finally had the room furnished and more or less decorated. They had settled on a Beatrix Potter theme, as it was something Jane and Maura could both remember liking when they were small, and it was gender-neutral and therefore reusable regardless of who the next kid ended up being. They didn't have the small stuff yet, like clothes and blankets and toys, but they had solid wood furniture with hand-painted Peter Cottontail and friends cavorting around on it. There was an empty bookcase, a wardrobe to put the baby's clothes in since the former yoga room's closet was still full of Maura's clothes (a problem, but not one they were likely to fix without moving), a French changer, a hamper, and a child-sized rocker and play table with four little chairs. It would be a while before the kid could use those last things, but they were part of the set, so they went ahead and got them. And in the middle of it all was the piece that truly drove home how real this was: the crib.

"I think it looks perfect," Maura sighed happily, leaning her head on Jane's shoulder. Jane pulled her closer. Several weeks had passed in relative peace since her kidnapping. The stalker had yet to be identified, which Jane was very anxious about, but at least he hadn't made any more moves. Maura was starting to sleep a little better, with fewer nightmares, and Jane was trying to actually stay in bed at night instead of getting up to make sure the world was safe for her family.

Maura had reached a point in the pregnancy where she seemed a little bigger every day, and Jane thought she was only getting more beautiful. She was still quite horny, insisting that orgasms were good for her uterus, and she had gotten obsessed with getting the house ready for the baby. And, just last week, Jane had felt the baby kick for the first time. Now Maura would tell her when she felt the baby kicking so Jane could run over and try to feel it too, and for just a few minutes, Jane would forget about the ongoing threat. This was her favorite part of the pregnancy so far. Maura looked amazing and felt good, they had lots of sex, and Jane could enjoy the baby now too. She almost wanted to pause life right here.

"We should do something nice for your mother, to thank her for helping us with all this," Maura suggested.

"Are you kidding? _She_ should be thanking _us_! We're giving her exactly what she wants more than anything in the world: another grandchild to dote on."

Maura smiled. "Our baby is lucky to have such a loving, involved grandmother."

"Yeah, she is," Jane admitted.

"Speaking of grandparents," Maura asked hesitantly, "when was the last time you talked to your father?"

"Not since before you got pregnant," Jane admitted. Her father only seemed to call when he needed something, and as much as she missed him, she dreaded calling him. She had first told him about Maura when he made a surprise visit to Boston upon learning he had cancer, after going nearly a year without contacting his family. In that time, Maura had upgraded from best friend to girlfriend and then fiancée. There had been a very awkward family dinner, at which Frank Sr. had ruthlessly criticized his two sons, and Jane had taken the heat off of them by announcing to her father that she was engaged—to Maura. He reacted very badly, somehow finding a way to blame Angela for their daughter's wayward behavior, and a very loud fight had ensued. He later apologized and agreed to come to the wedding, but it felt more like an effort to prove Angela wasn't the better parent than actual support.

"He would probably like to know he's going to have a granddaughter," Maura suggested gently.

"Maybe. The last time I talked to him, he called you my friend." She cringed at the memory.

 _She's my wife, Pop._

 _That's actually what you call her?_

 _You were there when I married her. I took her as my "lawfully wedded wife."_

 _So what does that make you? Are you supposed to be the man?_

 _No, Pop. I'm her wife. There isn't a man. That's the point._

 _The point is that you hate men now?_

 _No, I'm just attracted to women. To Maura. That doesn't change the fact that I_ am _a woman._

He had suggested that his leaving the family had turned her against men, and she had been very reluctant to call him since that conversation.

"I know he still doesn't approve of me, and he probably won't like that you're having a baby with me," admitted Maura. "But it'll come out sooner or later. He might take it better if you told him yourself."

"I don't know if I want him that involved anyway."

"Why not?"

"He'll accept her as his grandchild because she's his flesh and blood. But what about the next one? If it's not blood-related to him, he won't acknowledge it. Just the older one. That's not fair to the younger child."

"That's true," Maura agreed. "When my grandparents were alive, they made it clear that they did not consider me to be related to them. At Christmas they would give lovely presents to my cousins and just little trinkets to me. I felt very left out. We stopped spending Christmas with them."

Jane wished Maura's grandparents were still alive so she could have words with them, just as she'd had words in the past with Constance. And Arthur. And Hope. And Paddy. And Patrick Sr. Sometimes she felt like she was on a mission to create the world Maura deserved, since it wasn't already there.

"I don't even think it's healthy for this one to spend too much time around a man who doesn't understand why her mommies are married," Jane said, affectionately stroking Maura's belly. "I'll still tell him about the pregnancy, though. It _would_ be awkward if he found out from someone else."

Maura gave Jane a reassuring kiss. "I left my Tums downstairs."

Jane laughed. Maura had been having terrible heartburn lately, and she had taken to carrying a bottle of Tums around with her. She even brought them to bed with her at night, so Jane was getting used to hearing crunching around the clock. She took one last look at the nursery before turning the light off and following Maura downstairs.

After Maura had crunched down some more Tums, she got a slice of pumpkin bread (Angela was baking like crazy to make sure her pregnant daughter-in-law didn't go hungry) and stretched out on the couch. Jane thought she looked absolutely perfect, reclining there with her now-obvious belly, eating her pumpkin bread with a fork because she was _that_ refined. It was late fall, the kind of weather that made you want to just cuddle up in front of a fire with the love of your life.

"I'm going to build a fire," Jane said decisively.

"Good idea!" said Maura. "Could you light the candles too?"

"You and your mood lighting," Jane chuckled. She got a fire going in the hearth, lit the candles Maura kept scattered about the living room, turned out the lights, and got her own piece of pumpkin bread. Then she parked herself on the couch and let Maura put her feet in her lap.

"The baby's awake," Maura noted, setting aside her empty plate. "She's kicking like crazy."

"Let me feel." Jane crammed the rest of her bread into her mouth and put both hands on Maura's stomach. Maura moved her hand to the right spot and Jane was able to feel a few light taps before it stopped.

"It's like she quits when she finds out I'm here," Jane complained, although she was smiling.

"Maybe she's listening," Maura suggested. "She should be able to hear outside sounds now. You should start talking to her so she can learn to recognize your voice."

"I can do that." Jane curled onto her side, putting her face level with Maura's belly. "Hey baby girl," she said. "This is your other mommy. There's actually two of us, and we both love you like crazy, so you're a very lucky little girl." Maura smiled. "Since you need to hear my voice, I'm going to tell you a story. A very important story. "This is the story—" she paused, grinning up at Maura— "of how I met your mother."

Maura giggled. "This should be good."

"The first time I met your mother, I didn't know who she was. I was working undercover as a prostitute, which is a word you hopefully won't know the meaning of for a very long time. Your mommy in those days took absolutely everything literally, so she thought I was really a hooker. Naturally, she tried to pick me up."

"I did not!"

"Yeah you did. You tried to pay for my breakfast. You were totally hitting on me."

"I was just trying to be nice."

"Really? How many strangers have you purchased breakfast for?"

"None, since you wouldn't take my money."

Jane grinned. "You thought I was hot."

Maura blushed. "You _did_ have on a mini skirt, and you have such long legs…"

"I knew it!" Jane turned back to the baby. "Your mommy tried to be nice to me, but I was rude to her, because I was a little bit of a grouch back then. I didn't realize I had just made the most important connection of my whole life. I didn't see her again until a year or so later, when I became a homicide detective. I know you shouldn't be happy when someone gets murdered, but I was so excited about my first case. I decided to go watch the autopsy, see how that worked. I went down to introduce myself to the new chief medical examiner, and there was your mommy doing her favorite thing in the whole world: cutting up a dead body."

Maura laughed. "Please don't tell her that when she's old enough to understand."

"Nah, I'll let you explain your career. Is she kicking?"

"She kicks when you stop talking. I think she's listening to you."

"Aww, she likes the story." Jane planted a kiss on Maura's belly. "Anyway, when I saw your mommy I thought she was very pretty, and I knew I'd seen her before, but I couldn't think of when. She, on the other hand, immediately recognized me as the sexy hooker she tried to pick up once, and she was very embarrassed because she could see that I was a cop. So she turned all red and started apologizing, saying she should have realized I was undercover, and then I knew when I'd seen her before. So I started laughing, and then she laughed too, and I apologized for being rude before, and then I knew we were going to be friends."

"You were so interested in my autopsy," Maura remembered. "I was quite impressed, because most cops only care about the results."

"I found the process interesting. But the chief medical examiner was downright fascinating."

Maura grinned.

"I wasn't planning on watching all of the autopsies at first, but I ended up going down there whenever I could because I just couldn't get enough of your mommy. She was so smart and so nice and so weird, but in a good way. And it didn't hurt that she was stunning, but I kept telling myself that had nothing to do with it.

"I spent a lot of time with your mommy at work, and I started inviting her to the Dirty Robber with me and the other cops after work. Soon we became best friends, but we didn't really do anything outside of work until one night when something scary happened, and I went to spend the night at Mommy's apartment so I could feel safe. Then she hit on me again."

"I didn't!"

"She says she didn't, but as I remember it, she just kind of snuggled right up to me in bed. I think she wanted me. So after that night, we started doing stuff together, like going out to eat, going to movies, and whatever your mommy felt like doing because I was really just putty in her hands. She even got me to run a marathon with her, and then I _knew_ it was love, because I hate running. But training for a marathon meant spending lots of time with your mommy, and that was all I cared about.

"I didn't think your mommy would ever love me back, though. So I tried to find someone else, to keep from ruining our friendship by feeling things I wasn't supposed to feel, but it never worked. No matter who I dated, your mommy was still the one I loved. I loved her so much I would have died for her if I had to, and the day did come when I had to kill for her. One night, your mommy was sad because she felt like no one loved her, and for the first time, I wondered if it might actually make her _happy_ to know I was in love with her. So I told her, and I kissed her, and it _did_ make her happy. And ever since then we've been together, and she even agreed to _marry_ me. And then we decided to have you." She looked up at Maura and saw tears on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Did you really come to the autopsies mainly to see me?"

"Well, yeah. Dead bodies are interesting, but they're not _that_ interesting."

"And you ran the marathon just to spend time with me?"

"I honestly didn't have any other motivation. I even ran with the word "P.U.K.E." on my chest, just because you're so damn cute."

"I never knew."

"I didn't want you to know, at the time. I thought you'd be upset." She climbed up next to Maura, wedging herself in the narrow space between the pregnant woman and the back of the couch. "You don't need to cry about it. I told you before I've loved you just about as long as I've known you, and I will love you for the rest of my life, because you're just that amazing."

"For the longest time I thought you'd get sick of me, but you never did."

"I never will." Jane kissed Maura slowly, tenderly. "The more I get of you, beautiful lady, the more I want." She gently wiped Maura's tears away.

"I will admit I'm a little disappointed you didn't actually care about the science, though."

"I did. You made me care."

Maura's eyes met Jane's. "I spent most of my life feeling like no one would ever love me for being who I am. Thank you for changing that."

Jane put a protective arm around Maura, trying to control her outrage at the injustice of the situation. How had Maura ever been allowed to feel like that? Why was it so hard for most people to see how incredible she was? "I'll never let you feel like that again, sweet girl," she said quietly. "That much I can promise."


	12. Chapter 12

"Hands off, Frankie. No one's eating until we say grace." Angela set a bowl of sweet potatoes and a plate of rolls on the table, completing the feast. Maura felt her stomach rumble. This was her fifth Thanksgiving with the Rizzoli family, but the first where she had not helped at all with the cooking. Angela wouldn't hear of it, and Maura was secretly glad. As she neared the end of her second trimester, her energy was starting to flag again. All she wanted was to eat as much as possible and then take a nap.

"Everybody join hands," said Angela, finally taking her seat at the head of the table. Maura reached for Jane's hand and found herself holding Lydia's hand on the other side. She bowed her head respectfully, hoping this wouldn't take long.

"Heavenly Father," Angela began, "we have much to be thankful for this year: not just food and shelter, but our beautiful growing family. We have Tommy, Lydia and T.J.; Jane and Maura, now with their own sweet daughter on the way; and I'm sure you'll find the perfect woman for Frankie very soon."

"Ma!"

"No interrupting, Frankie. This has been a difficult year in many ways. At the beginning of the year, we believed we had lost our dear Maura. We prayed for a miracle, Lord, and you gave us one. Maura returned to us, seemingly from the dead, just in time to save my Janie when she was kidnapped for either the third or fourth time. I'm starting to lose track."

Maura didn't really think "miracle" was the right word since she'd never actually been dying, but she supposed she could see how it might look that way from Angela's perspective.

"Not only is Maura alive after all, but she's now bringing new life into the world. And when someone kidnapped _her_ last month, you brought her back to us safe and sound. And we know next year will bring us many new blessings: not just a new baby, but hopefully a year of peace for our family, especially Jane and Maura, who really deserve it."

 _Is she trying to guilt-trip God?_ Maura wondered.

"And of course, we are also very grateful for our wonderful food, our beautiful homes, and our many friends. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen."

"Amen," everyone echoed gratefully.

" _Now_ can we eat?" Frankie asked.

"Maybe we could go around first and each say something we're thankful for," Lydia suggested. "I've seen people do that on TV, and I always thought seemed nice."

"I think we'll be more thankful once we have food in our guts," said Tommy, reaching for the turkey.

Angela slapped his hand away. "Maura gets served first. She's eating for two."

"Oh, that's not really necessary," Maura said.

"Yeah it is. I can hear your stomach growling from here," Jane said, dropping a big slice of turkey onto Maura's plate. "Eat up. It's the baby's only Thanksgiving in utero. Make it a good one."

"It's not as if she can taste the food," Maura said with a smile, happily loading her plate. "She just gets the nutrients delivered from my bloodstream through the umbilical cord."

"Well she's missing out."

"Have you started a baby shower registry yet?" Angela asked.

"No, we aren't aware of anyone throwing us a baby shower," Maura replied.

Jane rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course Ma's going to throw us a baby shower. She lives for this kind of thing."

"I can't throw a shower for my own grandchild!" Angela exclaimed, scandalized. "Emily Post would be mortified!"

"Then who _is_ throwing it?" Jane asked.

"I believe she enlisted Nina," said Frankie.

" _Nina's_ throwing our baby shower?"

"Officially," admitted Angela. "I'm helping her plan it, of course."

"So basically, _you're_ throwing us a baby shower while using Nina as a front."

"You _could_ put it that way."

Maura was unable to suppress a smile. "Well, I stopped at a baby boutique the other day and purchased a few things. Some newborn clothes, cloth diapers, a soft-bristled hairbrush, and a few toys. I found this _adorable_ little medical bag with cloth instruments."

"A hairbrush? She won't even have hair!" Angela chuckled.

"She's planning to turn our baby into a mini medical examiner, and you're focusing on the hairbrush?" Jane said incredulously.

"I'm not trying to make her into a medical examiner. We can use the toy medical bag to familiarize her with the tools doctors use, so she'll be less likely to be frightened at her own appointments, and when she's older she can play doctor with her dolls, or with us. It's normal for kids to play doctor, isn't it?"

Wasn't it? She suddenly realized with horror that she didn't know. She had been obsessed with her toy doctor's kit as a child, but that didn't mean it was normal. Everyone said she was a weird kid. At first she just liked pretending to do operations on her dolls, but then she read a book about forensic pathology when she was five (the book was written for older kids, but she was a very advanced reader), which led to pretend autopsies, which was almost certainly _not_ normal.

"Yes, it's perfectly normal for kids to play doctor," Jane assured her. "Now we just need to find her some toy handcuffs, and we'll have both of our professions covered."

"I'm not sure that would be a good idea," laughed Maura.

"You should do an online registry, so your mother can shop too," Angela told Maura. "We're having the shower in January."

"Is my mother coming?" Maura asked in surprise.

"We haven't sent the invitations yet, but she'll get one."

"Why can't men come to baby showers?" Jane asked.

"Because we don't want to come," said Frankie.

"Why not? Don't you feel excluded?"

"I don't know what happens at those things, and I don't want to know."

"We're not playing those horrible games, are we?" Jane asked, rounding on her mother. "I feel like we wouldn't have to play the games if men were coming. Nobody makes men do that crap. I say we invite them."

"What horrible games?" Angela asked innocently.

"The games people play at baby showers, all of which are horrible. Let's just eat snacks and open presents, okay?"

"I think I could come up with some games you wouldn't hate," Angela said defensively.

"No, you couldn't. And no pink, either."

"Some pink is okay," said Maura. "We just don't want _all_ pink."

"Maura, if we tell her no pink, there will be some pink. If we tell her some pink, there will be nothing but pink. Tell her none."

"We'd just like some variety," Maura said politely. "And Jane hates pink."

"You can't force your own likes and dislikes onto the baby, Jane," said Angela.

" _Really_? Really, _you're_ going to lecture me on that? Who gave me a pink canopy bed when I asked for a bunk bed?"

"We'll start working on the registry this weekend," Maura promised, trying to head off an argument. She sincerely hoped their daughter would not argue with Jane as much as Jane argued with Angela. She wasn't sure she could handle it coming from both directions.

When dinner was over, Angela insisted that Maura shouldn't help with this dishes, so she just got up and ambled to the couch, curling up on her side.

"I wanna watch Nemo!" T.J. yelled, running into the living room.

"It's in my purse!" Lydia called from the kitchen.

"I got it," said Tommy, extracting the DVD from her purse. "We have to take this with us everywhere," he explained to Maura. "He's obsessed with this movie right now. We've watched it so many times, I wish I'd never shown it to him in the first place. That's what you have to look forward to in a few years. They just latch onto something for a while and can't get enough of it."

"I wonder what she'll be obsessed with?" Maura mused, caressing her belly. "She's kicking a lot right now."

"Can I feel?" asked Tommy.

"No!" called Jane from by the sink. "My wife's stomach is not public property!"

Maura smiled apologetically at Tommy and noticed T.J. looking at her curiously. "Do you want to feel the baby kicking?" He nodded and approached slowly, looking apprehensive. "It's okay," she said, placing his small hand in the right spot. "That's your little baby cousin."

"I can feel her kicking!" he exclaimed, lighting up. "When is she going to come out of there?"

"In about three and a half months."

"How did she get in there?"

Tommy looked up in alarm when he heard that question, but Maura was happy to answer. "The doctor put her in there when she was very tiny. Now she's growing, and when she gets big enough, she'll come back out."

T.J., looking satisfied with that explanation, walked off and settled on the rug to watch _Finding Nemo_.

"You know, I was kind of nervous when he asked you that," said Tommy. "I forgot that you got pregnant in a different way."

"I can do a lot of things, but I can't do that," said Jane, crossing the room to join Maura on the couch. She squeezed herself into the space against the back cushions and molded her body to Maura's, one hand resting on the baby bump.

"It's a good thing you're skinny, or there's no way the three of us would fit here," Maura giggled.

"In another month, we probably won't anyway," admitted Jane. "But I'm going to enjoy this as long as I can."

Maura smiled and reveled in Jane's warmth while watching the fish movie. It didn't take long for her to drift off to sleep.

XXX

Maura was in labor, but something was wrong. It hurt too much. She screamed from the pain, and Jane tried to soothe her.

"You'll be okay. I won't let anything happen to you," Jane promised.

But Maura realized something else was wrong: it was too soon. She was only twenty-five weeks pregnant; she couldn't be in labor now. But there was her stomach looming mountainous before her. Maybe she _was_ full term? Had she somehow forgotten the last fifteen weeks?

"Push," commanded Dr. Kessler, and Maura pushed. She needed this to be over, needed the pain and fear to be gone. Finally, with a feeling of great satisfaction, she felt the baby slide out into Dr. Kessler's hands.

"Is the baby okay?" Maura asked. It wasn't crying.

Jane took the baby from Dr. Kessler. "He isn't mine," she said, hastily handing him back. "He looks just like… _him_."

A shiver went down Maura's spine. She knew who Jane meant. She'd had the rapist's baby after all.

"No, it was supposed to be yours," Maura insisted.

Jane shook her head. "You did this on purpose. I should never have trusted you."

"No, I didn't want this," Maura told her.

"You cheated on me!"

"No, I would never! I _never_ wanted this! _I didn't want it!_ "

The feel of her own voice straining in her throat woke her. She stared at the darkened living room, disoriented.

"Maura?" said a quiet voice behind her. "Are you okay? Can I touch you?"

Maura nodded, turning her body to seek the refuge of Jane's arms. It was a bit awkward with her big belly between them, but Jane held her as close as she could and stroked her hair.

"What didn't you want?" Jane asked gently.

"To be raped," Maura whispered, tears sliding down her face.

"Oh, honey." Jane kissed Maura's head, hugging her tighter. "Is that what you were dreaming about?"

"I dreamed I had the baby, but it wasn't yours, it was his, and you didn't want it."

"Another one of those, huh?"

Maura nodded. "You told me I cheated on you, and I kept telling you no, I didn't want it to happen."

"You had a similar dream where I said that before. That's not what you really thought, is it? That I would think you had cheated?"

"Not exactly." Maura wiped her face and realized she was shaking. "I was afraid you wouldn't want me anymore when you saw how he…used me."

"But that wasn't your fault."

"No, but it made me feel damaged, like I wasn't the same person as before. His treatment of me was very dehumanizing, which is what I would have expected from someone like him, but somehow understanding the psychology of what he was doing didn't have much of an impact on how it affected me."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But you understand now that I never saw you as damaged, right? And I wasn't upset because he was touching my 'property' or anything like that. You are not my property. I was upset because I love you and he hurt you. On no level did I feel like he was taking away what was mine or anything stupid like that. The problem wasn't that someone else was touching my woman. The problem was that someone caused the woman I loved pain. It didn't change how I felt about you or about our relationship. Does that make sense?"

"Yes. I guess that—" She suddenly started, looking around the room. "Where did everyone go?"

"T.J. fell asleep during the movie, so Ma took him upstairs. The others went to the guest house to watch the game so they wouldn't disturb you. You know the guys can get a little loud when they're watching football."

"So can you. So you're missing the game?"

Jane shrugged. "It's not the Patriots or anything. Watching my pregnant wife sleep seemed more important."

Maura smiled. "You really are the best spouse I could have asked for. Maybe that's why I have dreams sometimes where you aren't supportive and understanding, because it's hard for me to grasp that you really are this wonderful."

Jane gave her a sad smile. "It's not that I'm wonderful; it's just that I love you so damn much. The dream me needs to get with it."

"Don't take it personally. It's normal for pregnant women to have anxiety-filled dreams about everything that could possibly go wrong. I have other dreams where I go into labor too soon, or the baby is stillborn, or the baby is alive but she's sick. One time I dreamed I was having triplets and somehow we didn't know until I delivered them, and I was so upset because we didn't have enough cribs!"

Jane laughed. "That would be the least of our problems if we had surprise triplets!"

"But we've seen in there, and we know there's only one baby. And she's a girl. Just now I dreamed it was a boy, but that's because I was dreaming the baby was like the man who took me. I've had a lot of nightmares about him recently, because of the other kidnapping, and I get him mixed up with Harris sometimes. So with all these nightmares, I supposed I was bound to have a few where you didn't want the baby or didn't love me anymore. I know you wouldn't really do that."

"Good, cause you're stuck with me no matter what you give birth to. I don't care if you give birth to a little Bass as long as it calls me Mama."

"That might be difficult for a tortoise to say," Maura teased, slowly pushing herself up from the couch.

Jane quickly climbed over her and helped her up. "Fine, I'll forgive it then. Point is, if it comes out of you, it's our baby."

Maura gave her a grateful kiss. "I really need to pee. Can you tell the others to come in here and watch the game, so it feels like Thanksgiving again?"

Jane grinned. "I can do that."


	13. Chapter 13

Jane looked at the list on her desk, trying to decide if she should add anything. She had been jotting down names she liked all day so she and Maura could trade lists when they got home. It was Tuesday, so Maura would have left early for her prenatal water aerobics class. Ever since the kidnapping Jane had felt nervous about Maura going anywhere alone, but she tried to keep her anxiety to herself. She couldn't control Maura's every movement, and she knew the water and yoga classes had become the one place Maura could go to just feel like a normal person, someone whose life revolved around preparing for a baby rather than looking over her shoulder. Jane could understand why she needed that.

As soon as the clock hit five, Jane shoved the list in her pocket, told everyone goodbye, and headed home. Maura should already be there by the time she got in, though Jane couldn't help running through all the horrible possibilities in her mind. What if Maura hadn't made it home? What if she'd been taken again, or otherwise attacked? She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Maura's Prius in the driveway. She could also see the glow of the Christmas tree, which they had put up over the weekend, in the living room window.

"Hey, foxy pregnant lady," she said as she walked in. Maura was sitting on the couch staring blankly at the tree, smelling faintly of chlorine. "Maura?" Jane asked worriedly, her heart pounding. "What's wrong?"

Maura slowly turned her head. "One of the women in my water aerobics class lost her baby."

"Oh. That's…that's terrible." Inwardly, Jane was relieved that nothing had happened to Maura, but she didn't think it would be appropriate to say that. She hung up her coat and joined Maura on the couch.

"Her name was Sarah; I'm sure you've heard me mention her. She was close to my age, so we talked a lot. Most of the women are younger. It was her first baby too."

"How far along was she?"

"She was five weeks behind me, so I suppose she would have been around twenty weeks when it happened. She missed class last week and no one knew why. Today the instructor told us that she'd heard from her and that she lost the baby. They don't know why it happened. She just went into labor, but it was much too early for the baby to survive. They must be completely devastated."

"Wow. Yeah, I guess news like that would ruin anyone's evening."

"The last time I saw her, she said they'd decided to call him Noah. They were just starting on the nursery. Can you imagine if we lost our baby now, and we had to look at that empty nursery? I don't know how we would ever get through it." Tears began rolling down her face. Jane quickly handed her a tissue and rubbed her back. "I want to do something for her, but I don't know what. What could possibly make someone feel better after their baby dies?"

Jane shook her head. "Nothing could."

"I keep asking myself what I would want in her situation, and I can't think of anything. I would just want my baby back, but I can't give her that."

"No." Jane wrapped her arms tightly around her wife. This was exactly what she had been afraid of going into the pregnancy. Maura had always been enough for her before, but now that they had started this, they would never be enough for each other again. They needed this baby now, and if they lost her, they would never get back to their old happiness.

"Do you want to hold off on picking a name?" Jane asked.

Maura shook her head. "I have my list in my purse. We can't stop our own lives for someone else's tragedy. And our baby would actually have a good chance of surviving if she were born now, although she'd have a long stay in the NICU, so we do need a name. Not that I anticipate her being born anytime soon."

"All right. Well, I made my list." Jane pulled the folded paper out of her pocket and handed it to Maura.

"Thank you. Could you bring my purse over here?"

Jane fetched the purse while Maura wiped her tears away. Maura extracted a typewritten list and gave it to Jane.

"And of course you typed your list, and it's even alphabetized," Jane said, scanning over the names. "We're not naming her Genevieve. Or Maeve. And certainly not Phoebe."

Maura grabbed two pens from the desk behind her and handed one to Jane. "Cross off the names you don't like, and star the ones you like best."

Jane went down the list, crossing out about half of the names. She put stars next to Eva, Grace, Isabella, and Scarlet.

"On your list, you underlined the name Charlotte," Maura remarked. "Is that your favorite?"

"Yeah," Jane admitted shyly. "When I was a kid, _Charlotte's Web_ was one of my favorite books, and I've loved that name ever since. I thought for a long time that I'd like to have a daughter named Charlotte, but it's kinda old-fashioned, and now there's a royal baby with that name, so everyone would think we named our daughter after her."

Maura smiled. "We could always tell them that we didn't."

"I wouldn't want to tell people we named her after a spider though. Especially not Frankie. He hates spiders."

"We could just tell people we both liked the name. I think it's lovely. It's not old-fashioned; it's a classic."

Jane smiled, relieved that Maura didn't think the name was silly. "So should we make a list of names we both like?"

"Yes." Maura took back her typed list. "I'll print two copies of the new list so we can both think them over."

"Or I could just write two lists on paper right now and be done with it."

Maura looked at her patiently.

"Or we can just do what you said. That works too."

"We also need to discuss child care arrangements, for when our maternity leave is over."

Jane nodded. "So what, we look at day cares?"

"Definitely not. Day care centers are full of bacteria. Staphylococcus, streptococcus, salmellosis, e. coli, cryptosporidiosis—not to mention all the viruses that are rampant in those places, such as respiratory syncytial virus, coxsackie virus, and cytomegliovirus. Then there's ringworm, and pediculiosis. Head lice. And that is by no means an exhaustive list."

Jane's eyes widened. "Okay, so you're thinking more along the lines of hiring a babysitter?"

"Realistically, we need a live-in nanny."

"Oh, no. We're not going that route. I know we're technically loaded, but we don't have to be _those_ people."

"But we need someone who can be available at a moment's notice if we get called to a crime scene on a weekend or in the night. And the perfect nanny already lives here."

Jane visibly relaxed. "Ma. She'd love to do it."

Maura nodded. "I haven't asked her yet, but I can't imagine her saying no. She'd have to either quit working at the Dirty Robber or drastically reduce her hours, but we could pay her as much as she's been making there."

"It'll feel weird paying my mom."

"I know, but we'd be paying a nanny anyway, and she has to make a living somehow. And we can afford it."

Jane nodded reluctantly. Being able to afford what she saw as extravagant things was something she couldn't quite get used to. She still limited her spending to her detective's salary, only splurging on the occasional expensive gift for Maura. She tried not to even look at their bank account balance. She felt oddly uncomfortable with having so much money, and she still thought of it as being Maura's, no matter what Maura said to the contrary.

"Since we agree, I think we should bring it up to your mother as soon as we get the chance," said Maura.

"Sounds good. I—there's someone at the door." Jane got up, her left hand reflexively hovering near her gun. She motioned for Maura to stay put and went to the door, peering through the sidelight. On the doorstep was a man pushing a dolly, and on the dolly was an enormous box. She cracked the door open.

"Good evening," said the man. "I have a delivery here for—" he consulted his clipboard. "Maura and Jane Isles-Rizzoli.

"From where?"

He looked at the box. "From a Constance Isles in London."

Jane exhaled. "Okay. Bring it in."

He wheeled the dolly over the threshold and deposited the box in the foyer. "Sign here, please," he requested, holding out the clipboard. Jane scribbled her name and sent the delivery man on his way.

"Maura, did you know your mom was going to send us a gigantic package?"

"She told me she was sending a Christmas present for the baby, but she didn't mention the size," said Maura, making her way to the foyer to inspect the box.

"Why is she buying a Christmas present for a baby who isn't born yet? She's not even due until March."

"It's her first grandchild. Where's your pocket knife?"

"I got it." Jane pulled out her knife and cut open the package, revealing a mass of packing peanuts. "Well, we might as well get the vacuum out now, because we're never going to find out what this is without making a huge mess." She plunged her hands into the peanuts, feeling around until she found something solid. "I think it's a horse."

"Oh. Maybe it's a rocking horse."

Jane struggled to extract the heavy toy. Finally, with Maura holding and tilting the box, she managed to drag it out, dumping packing peanuts all over the floor in the process.

"I feel like I just delivered a baby," groaned Jane, brushing peanuts off of the rocking horse. "Holy shit, it looks just like a real horse."

It did. It was the most elegant rocking horse Jane had ever seen. It was made out of solid wood, its coat painted a dappled gray, and its eyes made of glass. It had a black mane and tail that appeared to be made from real horse hair. The reins and saddle were brown leather, with a little red velvet pad under the saddle. The hooves were attached to beautifully carved rockers made of stained wood.

"It's very nice. I'll send her flowers to thank her," said Maura.

"It's gorgeous, but it's going to be a good two years before she can ride it."

"Well it'll make a lovely nursery decoration until then. I had a similar rocking horse as a child, but mine was larger and was on a glider instead of rockers. I wonder whatever happened to it?"

"I had a plastic horse with a bad paint job that connected to springs on a metal frame," said Jane, fingering the horse's mane. "How much do you suppose this cost?"

"Around two thousand five hundred dollars."

Jane raised her eyebrows.

"Well it's clearly handmade, and I've seen similar things in my metaphorical window shopping on the internet," Maura explained.

"I see. Well it probably cost another thousand to ship. How much is your mom planning to spend on this kid?"

Maura smiled. "It's her first grandchild, and since I'm the only child, I'm the only one who can give them grandchildren."

"So, a lot?"

"Probably."

The back door opened and Angela came in. "Hi girls!"

"Ma! You're just in time to help me lug this rocking horse up the stairs."

"We have something more important to ask her," Maura muttered.

"Where the hell did you get such a fancy rocking horse?" Angela exclaimed. "And why did you make such an enormous mess with the peanuts?"

"There was no way to get it out of the box without making a mess," Jane insisted. "Maura's mom sent it for the baby."

"It's beautiful. I don't think my gifts are going to even come close to this." Angela lifted one end of the rocking horse while Jane took the other and they began heading up the stairs, Maura following close behind.

"Ma, don't start feeling inferior because of this. The baby needs all sorts of different things, and not all of them are expensive. I know because I helped Maura with the registry and I made sure there were things normal people can afford on there."

"I know, but the baby's going to figure out eventually that Grandma Isles gives much better presents than Grandma Rizzoli does." They carried the horse into the nursery and set it down.

"She'll also notice that you give her other things that are much more important than presents, like your time," Jane told her.

"Ask her," Maura hissed in her ear.

"Okay!" Jane turned back to her mother. "As a matter of fact, we were wondering if you would be interested in being the baby's nanny when we go back to work after our maternity leave is up."

Angela's face lit up. "Oh, I would love to!"

"We would pay you at least as much as you've been making at the Dirty Robber," said Maura.

"Where did the 'at least' come from? Tell us what you're making now, and we'll pay it. Even though it's weird."

"It's not weird at all! You have to hire someone, so it might as well be someone who will love the baby as much as you do. Oh, we are going to have _so_ much fun together!"

Jane couldn't help smiling at her enthusiasm. "See? So she'll know you as the grandma who spends lots of time with her and spoils her with _love_ and _affection_. She doesn't need you to spoil her with toys too."

"But speaking of grandparents," said Angela, her face suddenly serious. "I spoke to your father today. It was obvious that you still hadn't told him about the baby."

"I haven't talked to him recently. I'll tell him."

"He said he'd been trying to call and you haven't answered."

"Oh really?" Maura's head snapped around. "Remember when I wouldn't take my father's calls and you texted him from my phone to _make_ me meet him?"

"I meant to call him back," Jane insisted.

"Give me your phone," said Maura, reaching for Jane's belt.

"No! I'll call him now, okay? I'm just worried he won't understand about the baby, you know? I've been surrounded by people who are excited about all this, and I don't think he will be."

"So make him understand," Angela said gently. "At least give him a chance. This is his first granddaughter."

"I'll try," promised Jane. She took her phone from its clip and went into her and Maura's bedroom, closing the door. She sat down on the bed, leaning back against the assortment of pillows Maura neatly arranged every morning, and dialed her father. She hoped he would be too busy to answer just then so she could put the conversation off a bit longer, but he picked up after two rings.

"Hey Pop," she said. "Sorry I didn't call you back sooner. Just busy with work and stuff."

"You had me wondering. I just wanted to see how you've been."

"I've been great, Pop. Really great." She took a deep breath. "Actually, I have something to tell you."

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"I, um…Maura and I are having a baby. She's six months pregnant."

There was silence for a moment. "So you did what, that artificial insemination thing?"

"We did in vitro fertilization, with my egg and sperm from an anonymous donor. She's having my baby in every sense of the term."

"Why aren't you having it?"

"She wanted to be pregnant more than I did, and her job is safer than my job. We're having a little girl."

"So you're not uh, worried about how the kid will turn out, growing up like, you know, like that?"

"No, I don't know. Like what? What is it about me that you think is gonna screw the kid up?"

"Well it's not you, sweetheart, it's just that she'll grow up thinking that the sort of relationship you're in is what's normal. I mean, it's fine if that's what you and Maura want to do, but it doesn't seem right to bring a kid into it."

She closed her eyes, trying to hold back tears. She wanted so badly for him to understand. "I grew up thinking a marriage like yours and Ma's was normal, but here I am. I think the only thing our daughter will take away from growing up with us is that we love each other, and we treat each other well, and that's the sort of relationship she should want for herself whether it's with a man or a woman."

"But what if you split with Maura someday? How are you going to tell a man that wants to date you that you have a kid with another woman?"

"Pop, none of that is going to happen." She heaved a sigh. "Listen, I don't have the energy to argue with you. All I can say is that this is my life now. I have a wife I'm very much in love with, and I'm having a baby with her. The only thing you can do is decide if you want to be a part of my life, as it is, because you can't change it. If you can't accept it the way it is, then you can't be part of it, because I'm sure as hell not going to let you around my kid if you don't think I should even have had her. So can you meet me where I am, or not?"

There was another silence. "I don't know. I'll have to think about it."

"Call me when you figure it out." Jane hung up and just sat there, staring at her bedroom, her sanctuary. All around her were signs of the life she loved: her collection of signed baseballs, Maura's collection of random old things, pictures of the two of them together, the most recent ultrasound picture. She was happier with her life than she could ever have imagined being, and she didn't understand how her father could love her and yet not want this for her.

After a while she heard a knock on the door, followed by Maura's sweet voice asking if she could come in. Jane gave her consent, and Maura entered the room. Her eyes moved from the phone in Jane's hands to the expression on Jane's face, which seemed to tell her all she needed to know. She quietly climbed onto the bed beside Jane and put her arms around her. Jane pressed her face to Maura's chest and finally let the tears come.


	14. Chapter 14

Maura eased herself down into the hot, soothing water and lay back in the tub, sighing. It had been another fun but tiring Rizzoli Christmas, and the house was finally quiet again. Maura was now officially in her third trimester. She felt huge, although she was not done growing yet, and she was having a lot of pain in her legs and lower back. She wasn't getting much sleep at night, because it was difficult to get comfortable and because the baby was now capable of kicking hard enough to wake her up. She was also starting to have Braxton Hicks contractions, which were more uncomfortable than painful, but they could be distracting. Bending over was getting difficult. Putting on her boots in the morning before going out in the snow was becoming a workout in itself. She could no longer move gracefully, and while she knew it was important to keep getting exercise, she was always grateful when Jane brought the car right up to the door after work so she wouldn't have to walk far.

Jane had been amazing in general. She'd always been attentive to Maura's needs, but she had been extra concerned with Maura's well-being throughout the pregnancy. If Maura complained of her legs cramping, Jane massaged them. If Maura urgently needed an orgasm, Jane dropped everything and gave her one. If Maura burst into tears after seeing a very emotional commercial on TV, Jane hugged her and got her a tissue. When Maura ran out of Tums at work, Jane stole a bottle from Frankie's desk and gave them to her. And when Maura started desperately craving strawberries in the middle of December, Jane called around until she found a store that had imported organic strawberries in stock, and then she went out and got them. Jane had become a legend at Maura's prenatal exercise classes because everyone had heard Maura talk about Jane actually doing the things they wanted their significant others to do. Maura knew she was very fortunate, and so was Charlotte.

 _Charlotte._ That was the name they had settled on. Maura knew they would as soon as Jane said it was her favorite, although she thought it was prudent to spend some time thinking about it before making it official. She loved the name though. It didn't have a very special meaning, but it was elegant, feminine, and timeless. She kept saying it over and over in her head, like a lovesick teenager repeating her crush's name. _Charlotte_.

She looked down at her naked body. It was a bit foreign-looking at the moment, with her big stomach and enormous breasts, both of which now bore stretch marks. She could see a little lump where Charlotte's knee or foot was sticking out, and she touched it, pushing at it gently. Charlotte started and turned her body, making Maura laugh.

"It's okay, sweetie," she said. "It's just me."

"Are you frightening our baby?" Jane demanded jokingly, strolling into the room.

"Not on purpose! I just surprised her by pushing on her knee, or her foot. I'm not sure which it was."

"I'd be surprised too if something pushed on me from outside of the universe. I can only imagine what she must think is going on." She knelt down beside the tub and kissed Maura. "I finally finished picking up all the wrapping paper and shit, so I figured I'd come up and see how my girls were doing. You're looking sexy as hell, as usual."

"I don't _feel_ very sexy," Maura laughed, tracing a stretch mark with her fingers.

"There is _nothing_ sexier than the woman I love carrying my baby." Jane gently touched the mark Maura had just traced. "You're not gonna hold it over her head that she gave you these, are you? It isn't her fault. Blame _me_ if you have to blame someone."

"There's no need to blame anyone. Around eighty percent of women get stretch marks during pregnancy, and regardless of what some products claim, there isn't any way to prevent them. They'll fade away after Charlotte is born."

"Wait, they will?"

Maura nodded.

"Then why does my mom act like I ruined her life by giving her stretch marks?"

Maura laughed. "Sometimes they don't go away completely, so that may have been the case with her. But even if they remain to some extent, they won't always be obvious like they are now. I'm not worried."

"I am so telling my mother I know she's just being melodramatic."

"More importantly, you thought I would look like this forever and it didn't bother you?"

"Nah. You're still the most beautiful woman in the world, by far."

Maura smiled gratefully at her. Just then Charlotte turned around and they could see a knee sliding across Maura's stomach.

"That's so freaky," said Jane. She touched the protruding knee and Charlotte responded with a sharp kick. Maura and Jane both laughed.

"She's very restless," Maura observed. "Just like you." She looked at Jane adoringly.

"I can't wait to see her, and hold her."

"Me too, especially when I'm really uncomfortable. But then I remember that once she's born, I'll never be connected to her like I am now, ever again. Right now we're literally connected to each other, and she's with me all the time. When she comes out and we're separated, I'm going to miss this."

"Aww, well at least it's a gradual separation. It's not like she's going to pop out and go straight into sulky teenager mode. I mean, for a while after she's born, the only thing in the world she's going to care about will be your boobs." She grinned wickedly. "That's something she and I will have in common."

Maura laughed. "I assume you'll both care for different reasons though."

"Very different reasons, although I can't pretend I'm not a little curious about what your milk will taste like. It's kind of weird; I mean I've thought of you as a lot of different things over the years, but never as a food source."

Maura giggled. "I'm a whole life support system right now."

"I know. You're amazing like that." She pushed herself into a standing position. "I'm gonna go eat a few more of Ma's Christmas cookies, let you relax here on your own."

"Don't eat them all. I want another one before I go to bed."

"I'll just have a couple. I promise."

When Jane left, Maura turned on the Jacuzzi jets and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure how long she'd been relaxing in the bubbling water when Jane came back, turning off the jets to get her attention.

"Hey," she said. "I hate to bother you, but Hope's here."

Maura sat up. "Hope? What is she doing here?"

"She brought presents."

"Christmas presents?"

"Something like that. I gave her cookies and told her I'd get you."

"Well, go back down and talk to her. I need time to get dressed."

"Okay, but don't try to make yourself all perfect, okay? You don't need to blow dry your hair and put on makeup and shit. This is the woman who gave birth to you. She doesn't need you to look like you're going down a fashion runway."

Maura nodded uncertainly. Jane always thought she went to too much trouble for Hope, but she never felt quite good enough for her birth mother, though she wasn't sure why she cared so much. She'd never thought twice about letting Angela see her in a robe or pajamas. Why should she go to more trouble for her mother than she did for her mother-in-law?

Jane helped Maura out of the tub before heading back downstairs with a final "I mean it. Don't knock yourself out for her." She slowly toweled herself off in front of the mirror, trying hard to see what Jane saw. Instead she only saw what Hope must see: a younger version of herself, but with Paddy's nose. The physical proof of a careless, youthful mistake. She wondered what it must feel like to have parents who had gone to a lot of trouble to make you, like she and Jane had done. One day they would tell Charlotte the story of how she was conceived, of how they celebrated when they got the positive pregnancy test, and she would know that she was loved and wanted right from the beginning.

"You will never have to feel the way I'm feeling right now," she said to Charlotte. "I won't let you, and neither will your mama." Then she resolutely dressed in her silk pajamas and headed downstairs.

She found Hope seated on one of the living room chairs, talking to Jane, who was on the couch. They both looked up when Maura came waddling in.

"There she is!" said Jane. "Isn't she gorgeous?"

"She's positively glowing," said Hope, standing to greet her. They had their usual awkward moment where they weren't sure whether to hug or not; finally they did, and Maura joined her wife on the couch as Hope returned to her seat.

"I'm sorry I'm not properly dressed," said Maura, suddenly doubting her decision to come down in pajamas. "I wasn't expecting anyone, and I was in the bath…"

"Don't apologize. I should have called first. I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas, and bring a few gifts for you and the baby."

"I have something for you as well, under the tree. I never quite got around to calling you to discuss when we could exchange gifts." Maura started to get up, flustered, but Jane pulled her back down.

"I'll get it," she said gently.

"It's no problem," said Hope as Jane fetched the present. "I just really wanted to give you something for the baby, and I won't be able to make it to your shower."

"Oh, that's too bad," said Maura. "Will you be traveling?"

"No, I…Angela told me that Constance was coming, and I don't feel comfortable being there with her."

"My mother is coming?" Maura blurted out without thinking. She should have said _Constance_ so Hope's feelings wouldn't be hurt.

"Surprise?" said Jane sheepishly.

"I just feel redundant around her," explained Hope. "She actually raised you, as I should have, but I think she may have done a better job than I would have done."

"You were both at my wedding," Maura pointed out.

"Yes, but this is a much more intimate setting, and the wedding was awkward enough. I can see where you get your poise from, and it isn't me."

"Oh, I could never come close to being as poised as her," insisted Maura. "But I'm sure she feels a little awkward around you as well."

"Perhaps. Anyway, here's a Christmas gift for you both."

Maura opened the proffered present, revealing a baby book with a family of owls on the cover.

"I didn't see a baby book on your registry, but every parent should have one," said Hope. "I chose this one because it asked a lot of interesting questions, like what you did when you found out you were pregnant. You want to keep track of all the little things, because it goes by so fast, and you think you'll remember everything, but you won't."

"Thank you," said Maura, flipping through the pages.

"I also made sure it was gender-neutral. It asks questions about the parents, but it doesn't say 'mom' and 'dad' specifically."

Maura smiled. Hope handed her the other two presents, and she and Jane each opened one. Both were from the registry. One was a lovely bib and burp cloth set, and the other was a rainbow rubber ball with a different texture on each color. Maura and Jane thanked her profusely for the gifts.

"It's really my pleasure," Hope assured them. "I'm very happy for you both, although I will admit it's a surreal experience seeing the child I once carried now carrying a child of her own."

Maura's heart clenched. "When you were pregnant with me," she asked before she could stop herself, "did you feel…connected to me? Emotionally?"

Hope looked taken aback. "Well, yes, I felt some connection. I had a lot of emotions going on at once though. I was very much in love with Paddy, but I was a nervous wreck about the pregnancy. I had done exactly what my parents were afraid I would do: went off to college and got myself pregnant. I felt stupid for letting it happen, scared of how my family and friends would react, and absolutely terrified of having a baby. Paddy convinced me to keep the whole thing a secret. I didn't have any kind of plan for what to do, how to take care of you, when you were born. I didn't even buy anything." She paused. "But I still loved you."

Maura blinked back tears. _If you loved me, wouldn't you have at least gotten me diapers?_ she thought. It was like Hope was _expecting_ her to die at birth. Jane, noting Maura's expression, put an arm around her and squeezed.

"Was it different with Cailin?" Maura asked.

"Well, yes. I was 35 instead of 18, I was married, and the pregnancy was planned. It was a lot less stressful. But it did bring up a lot of memories from my first pregnancy, so I still felt a lot of anxiety. The fear that she would die too, or that I still wouldn't be a good mother. I wasn't sure I even deserved a baby since I hadn't managed to keep the first one alive, or so I thought. If only I'd known you were alive and well…but it's too late to change any of that now."

"Have you spoken to Paddy recently?"

Hope shook her head. "Not since I testified against him. How could I face him after that?"

Maura nodded. "I met with him before he was transferred to California, not long after Jane and I were married. I haven't spoken to him since then, but given his many connections around Boston, I would be surprised if he hasn't heard about my pregnancy. I doubt he would know that the child is biologically Jane's instead of mine though."

"I didn't know you had seen him that recently. How did he react to news of you marrying Jane?"

A smile tugged at the corners of Maura's mouth. "I think he was a little disappointed that I married a cop, one who shot him no less, but I don't think he was surprised. He knows how many times Jane has saved or otherwise protecting me, and he knows how much I love her. I ended up sort of gushing about the wedding and honeymoon, and he seemed happy that I was telling him about it. It's the most I've ever voluntarily shared about my life with him."

"Paddy and I have an understanding," said Jane. "We don't like each other, but we know we're on the same page when it comes to protecting Maura, so we've developed a kind of…mutual respect."

"He's done a lot of truly awful things, but he would do anything for the people he loves," said Hope. "Which I guess is mostly Maura, now. Anyway, I'd better get going so you can go to bed. It was very nice to spend time with you."

Maura pushed herself up from the couch and saw her to the door. After Hope was gone, she turned back to Jane, her mind swimming with a mix of emotions.

"Well that was nice," said Jane. "Charlotte will be happy to have such a pretty cloth to puke on, and an equally pretty bib to smear food all over."

Maura chuckled. "She has to have those things, so they might as well be pretty. But my _mother_ is really coming to the shower? I didn't think she'd come all this way just for that."

"Not only is she coming, but she apparently went rogue and bought a bunch of fancy European baby stuff that she has to ship because it won't all fit on the plane. But it was supposed to be a surprise, because none of us wants you to go crazy getting the house ready for her."

Maura looked around with a sigh. The house looked like it always did after a Rizzoli family Christmas celebration. Empty gift bags and boxes were piled up next to the tree. Recently opened gifts were scattered on every available surface, waiting to be put away. A buffet of half-eaten desserts was on the kitchen counter. Someone's camera had been forgotten on an end table, no doubt full of happy pictures of everyone opening presents. A burnt log was in the fireplace, which was hung with a lighted garland. On the tree were a few new, haphazardly-placed ornaments, including an ornament depicting a pregnant lady (a gift from Angela) and an ornament made from macaroni glued to a Styrofoam ball (a gift from T.J.). It was nothing like the very formal Christmas celebrations Maura had grown up with, and, while it would all be gone by the time the shower happened a few weeks from now, it was still a good representation of what her life had become: beautiful, messy, and full of love.

"I think it's probably time to stop worrying about making the house good enough for my mother," Maura said slowly. "I'm actually quite proud of my life now. There's no reason to try to make it look better for anyone." She turned at Jane with a smile. "I think everything is perfect already."


	15. Chapter 15

**I hope you're all ready for an extra long chapter that's 99% fluff! :)**

Jane looked at her watch. They had to be almost ready by now. Constance had arrived in town that morning, and Jane and Maura had been banished from the first floor of their own house while their mothers and Nina got everything set up for the baby shower. Soon other guests would be arriving. Jane had gotten her wish to have both men and women invited to the shower, although most of the men did not seem overly thrilled about it.

Maura was taking a nap while they waited to be allowed back downstairs. It was a testament to her current level of exhaustion that she was able to fall asleep at all with Constance in the house. She still wasn't sleeping much at night though, what with her inability to get comfortable and her constant need to pee. The only plus side was that she wasn't having many nightmares anymore. Jane knew the kidnapping had to still be on her mind. She didn't talk about it much anymore, but she still got scared if someone came up behind her without warning, and Jane had seen her covertly writing in that little journal Melanie had advised her to keep. Furthermore, she was still seeing Melanie every week, which meant she must still have plenty to talk about, and she admitted that her recent decision to sign up for a creative writing class was spurred by the need to get her mind off what had happened.

Jane didn't even bother to ask why getting ready for the baby wasn't enough of a distraction. Given how worried they both were that something might happen to Charlotte if they didn't catch the stalker in time, it really _wasn't_ a distraction. They had recently found the hacker who closed down their bank accounts, but he didn't know who was behind the whole operation. Jane was beyond frustrated. This guy had as many people willing to do his bidding as a damn mob boss, and they didn't seem to even know or care why they were being asked to do these things. How could someone hate Jane this much without her knowing about it? She loathed having this shadow hanging over one of the most important events in her life.

She looked at Maura who was, at any rate, sleeping peacefully for the moment. She was lying on her left side, her favorite sleeping position lately. Her hair had grown back since the kidnapping, so at least the _physical_ harm from that event had been undone. She looked peaceful and beautiful now, and really, she'd had a remarkably uneventful pregnancy. Her blood pressure was fine, her blood sugar was healthy, they'd had no "scares" of any kind. All the tests they'd had done on the baby came back normal. Aside from all the shit with the fucking stalker, everything had gone smoothly.

He had made no moves since Maura's kidnapping, but the more time passed, the tenser Jane felt. They were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was like Maura's kidnapping and murder had been planned as the grand finale, and since that plan had been interrupted, the stalker and his friends had to regroup. They'd had three months now to plan an even more complicated assault, and there was no way of telling what the new plan entailed. Would they go after Maura and the baby again? Would it be someone else Jane loved? Was it a multi-pronged plan that would destroy everything that mattered to her? She couldn't keep living in fear like this. Something had to give. Catching this guy would return their lives to normal for a time, but eventually there would be another guy. There always was. Jane knew she had to find a way to keep her family safe permanently, or as safe as anyone could be.

Finally she got a text from her mom telling her it was safe to come down, so she gently roused Maura.

"Hey, baby," she said softy, leaning down and kissing Maura on the head. "Ma says they've got everything set up and we're just going to _love_ the decorations, so we can go down as soon as you're ready."

Maura smiled and stretched. "I was having a good dream," she said sleepily.

"A _good_ dream? That doesn't happen often enough."

"Charlotte was here and she looked just like you. We were taking her to the park and all three of us were so happy. You were so good with her, just like I knew you would be." She yawned.

"Yeah?" Jane smiled and brushed Maura's hair out of her face. "I think that dream might actually come true."

Maura eased herself off the bed and went over to the mirror to redo her hair. "I wonder what sort of snacks they have."

Jane chuckled. "I told Ma you're now craving strawberries _with_ Fluff, so maybe she'll have some of that for you. I just hope it's not a sea of pink down there."

"It won't be," Maura assured her.

Jane put her arms around Maura from behind, her hands resting on Charlotte, and studied the reflection of their little family. "How do you know?"

"Because we told your mother _and_ Nina that we didn't want that."

"And you think they listened to us?"

"Nina said she completely understood." Maura turned her head and kissed Jane.

"Well, I guess we can trust Nina," Jane admitted, kneeling down to Charlotte's level. "Hey Charlie. There's a big party downstairs just for you, and lots of people are coming to bring you presents because everyone is _that_ excited about you," she told her.

"We are _not_ calling her Charlie," Maura informed her.

"It's just a fun nickname."

"But if you start calling her that, then everyone will start calling her that, and soon we won't be using her real name at all. We'll just be calling her a boy's name."

Jane stood up and kissed her wife. "I won't let that happen. It's just an occasional nickname, okay? Like your nickname, Dr. Smartypants."

Maura giggled and took Jane's hand as they walked downstairs.

They arrived to find Angela, Nina, and Constance waiting for them, clearly eager to show off their handiwork. To Jane's relief, they had decorated with a unisex Beatrix Potter theme to match the nursery. There were snacks laid out on the kitchen counter: candies, cookies, cheese and crackers, and fruit and veggie trays with dip, including strawberries and Fluff. In the center of it all was a two-tiered cake decorated with Peter Rabbit, Jemima Puddle-Duck, and other characters whose names Jane couldn't remember (although she would certainly be learning them in the near future, because there was a collection of little Beatrix Potter board books standing around the cake). On the top of the cake were little sugar alphabet blocks spelling out "CHARLOTTE."

The chairs had all been moved away from the dining table, which was now piled with gifts. A few large, unwrapped gifts were standing beside the table. These had to be from Constance, as they made Jane's jaw drop. One was a woven green basket with handles, which she assumed from the shape was intended for putting the baby in, although she hadn't known that rich people put their babies in baskets. It was definitely made for rich babies, though, because it had a white silk liner with a ruffled green trim and a little pink silk rose on each side. Next to that was a wooden high chair that looked like it belonged in an art museum. It was stained a rich, dark color, and elaborately carved in a way that reminded her of staircase banisters in Victorian mansions. The back and the seat had built-in beige cushions, though she wasn't sure about the material. And on the other side of the table was one of those old-fashioned baby buggies like people used 100 years ago. It was gray and white, with a folding top that had curtains on it. _Curtains_ , as if Charlotte was some celebrity who needed to be given privacy.

"I'm not sure this can be my baby," she muttered to Maura. "She's way richer than I am."

Maura squeezed her hand. "She's really not."

Jane shook her head in amazement. She wasn't sure she could be caught dead pushing her baby around in the Rolls Royce of strollers, and that high chair did not look like something you would just let a baby drop mashed peas all over.

"Isn't it wonderful?" gushed Angela, who appeared to be just fine with the idea of being seen pushing her granddaughter in a buggy that probably cost more than Jane's first car. "Constance really went all out!"

"Oh, it's really nothing," Constance insisted modestly. "Arthur and I are just very pleased to be getting a grandchild. We didn't know if Maura would ever choose to be a mother, since she was always so career-minded, and we certainly didn't want to pressure her."

"That must have been nice," Jane mumbled in Maura's direction, reaching out to give the buggy thing a little test push. It certainly handled smoother than her first car.

"Oh, I couldn't resist buying that," said Constance. "It's so rare to see babies in a proper pram these days."

 _Pram_. That was what it was called. Yes, Jane decided as she studied the vehicle before her, there was no sense in calling it anything other than a _pram_. This was a proper pram if she had ever seen one.

"So what's with the fancy basket?" she asked.

"It's a Moses basket," Maura said brightly. "The baby can sleep in it no matter where we are, and we can just pick up the basket and move it when we go to another room."

"Well the kid certainly has enough places to sleep," said Jane. "She's got a crib in her room, we're getting a bassinet for our room, and now she has her own laundry basket to sleep in as well."

" _Moses_ basket," laughed Maura.

Soon guests started trickling in, leaving their gifts on the dining table before heading towards the snacks. Angela put an ice cube containing a plastic baby in each guest's drink, telling them that the first person to melt their ice cube would get a prize. Jane wanted to just skip the games in favor of presents, but her mother was not budging.

"It'll be fun, Jane," she insisted. "I picked good games. No candy bars in diapers or anything like that."

And they really weren't quite as bad as Jane had expected. There was one where Nina showed baby pictures of all the guests, and everyone had to guess who was who. There was another activity where people used fabric markers to decorate squares for a quilt Angela was planning to make. Jane actually really liked that, because it meant that Charlotte would always know who had come to her shower and how supportive everyone had been. Unfortunately, it was during this activity that Kent swallowed the little plastic baby in his drink and began choking, causing Maura to have to give him the Heimlich maneuver.

Once the excitement from that had died down and Kent had been given his gift basket for being the first to melt the ice, Angela announced that it was time to start a new game that would pit Jane against Maura. They had to go to opposite ends of the room and each fill out a questionnaire about the baby, then turn in their papers to Angela so she could quiz them on what they thought each other's answers would be.

"It doesn't really matter who wins though, does it?" Jane pointed out when she and Maura returned to the couch to be quizzed. "I mean, we live together. If you give us one of those gift baskets, we're just going to share it."

"Au contraire," said Angela. "Nina, tell them what the prizes are."

"Certainly," said Nina, pulling two envelopes out of her purse. "While these prizes _are_ intended to be shared between you, the prize you get depends on who the winner is. Maura, if you win, you and Jane will be going to see Boston Ballet perform _Onegin_ at the Opera House."

Maura gasped in delight and looked at Jane, who could just see the wheels turning in her head. She was no doubt already planning what they would both wear and where they would go to eat before the performance.

"Jane, if you win," Nina continued, "you will be taking your lovely wife to see the Bruins play the Anaheim Ducks at TD Garden!"

Jane narrowed her eyes at Maura. "You're going down," she told her.

"What will happen to the loser's tickets?" Maura asked worriedly.

"The people who paid for them get to keep them," Nina said cheerfully. "Angela and I split the cost of the ballet tickets, and Frankie and Korsak bought the Bruins tickets."

"Come on, Maura, we're counting on you!" shouted Frankie.

"Okay, Jane we'll start with you," said Angela, settling down with a pen and clipboard. "Before you knew you were having a girl, what do you think Maura was hoping for?"

"That's easy. She wanted a girl, for reasons of feminism, not fashion."

"Yay Maura, you got your wish!" cheered a very peppy younger woman from one of Maura's prenatal exercise classes.

"That is correct," said Angela. "Maura, what do you think Jane was hoping for?"

"She said she'd be happy either way."

Angela looked down at Jane's paper. "She just put down 'a baby.'"

"Because I didn't care," said Jane. "She's right." Maura grinned.

"Okay, that's a point for each of you," said Angela, marking it down.

"What happens if we tie?" asked Jane.

"Then you get both prizes," said Nina. "They're for different nights, so you can do both."

"Okay, next question," continued Angela. "Jane, what do you think Maura is looking forward to the most about having a baby?"

"Hmm." This was a tough one, because Maura seemed excited about _everything_. It was hard to pinpoint exactly what she'd be looking forward to the most. "Maybe teaching her things? She's been very interested in educational baby toys."

"Actually, she just put down, 'holding her.'"

"Aww, Maura!" said Jane, looking at her wife. "That's really sweet."

"That was a good guess though, Jane," Maura assured her. "I'm really looking forward to teaching her things as well!"

"Maura, what do you think Jane's answer was?"

Maura bit her lip. "I'm not sure."

"Just guess, honey."

Jane smiled in amusement. "She doesn't do that."

Angela pursed her lips. "Maura, honey, it's a _game_. It's not gonna hurt anything if you make a guess. Just try."

Maura looked agonized. "I think…maybe she's looking forward to…making Charlotte a Red Sox fan?"  
"That's what she put!" said Angela, laughing. "That's two points for Maura, one for Jane."

Jane had to laugh at the relieved look on Maura's face. Of course, there were other things she was looking forward to even more than raising a Sox fan, but those would have been too unbearably sappy to put down. She had a reputation to maintain.

"Jane, what do you think Maura is looking forward to the least?"

"Well I would say not getting the proper eight hours of sleep at night, but she's already not getting that since she has to pee so damn much. So I'm going to say…having to be away from Charlotte some of the time."

"She put 'not getting to be with her all the time,' so that's a point for Jane! Maura, what do you think Jane is looking forward to the least?"

Maura bit her lip again. "Maybe…having to change diapers?"

"That is correct! Okay, Jane, if Maura could choose a career for Charlotte, what do you think she'd choose?"

"Scientist?"

Angela looked at the paper. "What she put was, 'scientist, doctor, engineer, artist, teacher, anthropologist, fashion designer, or writer."

"That should count," said Jane. "What I said is one of the things she put."

"I'll count it as correct," Maura said generously. "There are just so many meaningful careers. I could fill up a whole page! I just want her to do what makes her happy and lets her contribute something to the world."

"Okay, you're tied three to three," said Angela. "Maura, what do you think Jane would choose?"

"Well, she's always wanted to be a cop, so she'd probably be very proud if Charlotte followed in her footsteps."

"Surprisingly, she put down, 'not a cop. Whatever makes her happy, as long as she can support herself.'"

"You _don't_ want her to be a cop?" said Maura, her eyes wide.

"I never thought I'd say this, but not really. I mean, sure, I'd support her if she did want to be a cop, and I'm sure I'd be proud of her and everything. It's just, if it were up to me, I'd want her to do something a little safer."

Angela set down her clipboard with a bang. "So you finally understand how _I_ feel!"

" _Ma_. It is not the time. Ask another question."

Angela sighed and picked the clipboard back up. "Jane, which of your qualities do you think Maura would want the baby to have?"

Jane frowned and tried to think which of her qualities Maura liked best. "Maybe my loyalty and protectiveness of the people I love."

"That is incorrect. Maura put 'her fierceness and dedication to doing what's right.'"

"That's so close though," said Maura, looking at Jane apologetically. "Really, you have a lot of qualities I hope you'll pass down to Charlotte, whether it's through nature or nurture. It's really hard to pick."

"Maura, what do you think Jane wants to pass down to Charlotte?"

Maura scrutinized Jane. "This game is making me itchy," she confessed. Everyone laughed.

"Maura, sweetie, it's okay if you get it wrong," Jane promised her. "It's not going to throw off a case or anything. Worst thing that'll happen is that you'd have to sit through a hockey game with me."

Maura looked like she thought that might be pretty bad, but she went ahead and guessed. "I think she'd want Charlotte to have her athletic ability."

"Actually, she said she wants Charlotte to get her determination. So neither of you get that one. Maybe you'll be better at guessing with Maura's qualities. Jane, what do you think Maura hopes to pass down to the baby?"

"I'm gonna say her intelligence."

"She put 'my love of learning.'"

Jane rolled her eyes. "That's her modest way of saying she wants the kid to be smart like her."

"I'll allow it," said Maura, sounding like a judge.

"Close enough. Maura, what do you think Jane wants Charlotte to get from you? Just go ahead and guess."

"She…she always says I'm the most loving person she knows, so maybe that?"

"She put 'her big heart,' which I think is the same thing. You're tied again. The next question is a little bit different. Jane, what do you think Maura will be like when she's in labor?"

Jane smiled at Maura. "Probably calm, collected, and not letting on how much pain she's in, because she's badass like that." Maura smiled back in delight.

"Maura said she thinks she'll be able to stay calm by remembering her relaxation techniques, so that's a point for Jane. Maura, what do you think Jane will be like while you're in labor?"

Maura looked at Jane. "I think she'll be calm too, because she'll know exactly what to expect after we've taken our childbirth education class."

Angela looked at the paper and laughed. "I hope you're right, Maura, but you don't get the point, because Jane wrote that she's going to be 'freaking out' when you're in labor."

Maura looked at Jane patiently. "We start our class next week. I think that will put your fears to rest so you don't need to 'freak out.'"

Jane made a face. "What about my fear of being the only lesbian couple at the childbirth class?"

Maura laughed. "I don't know about that, but your more serious fears should be put to rest."

"Okay, last question," said Angela. "Currently Jane is leading five to four. Jane, tell us what you remember about Maura's reaction to finding out she was pregnant."

Jane looked at Maura. She knew she had those Bruins tickets whether she got this one right or not. And, in theory, she didn't like the idea of getting dressed up and going to the ballet. Except she actually wanted to do exactly that, because at some point, seeing Maura do things she enjoyed had become one of her favorite pastimes. To the point that she actually looked forward to doing really boring things as long as it meant seeing her wife all happy and sparkly. Because she _was_ sparkly when she was happy, damn it. Who wouldn't want to see that?

"Maura was by herself when she took the pregnancy test, so I can only guess about her initial reaction," she said.

"That's fine," said Angela. "You're not starting to have problems with guessing too, are you?"

"No. I think she cried."

Maura tilted her head curiously. "I didn't cry."

"No," agreed Angela. "She wrote, 'I was in shock at first, so I asked Jane to come down, and when she saw the positive test it finally sank in that I was really pregnant. After that I couldn't stop smiling!' Maura, what do you remember of Jane's reaction?"

"She screamed silently, and then she picked me up and spun me around. She put her hand on my stomach where the baby was, and then she said we should kiss. So we did."

"That is almost word for word what Jane wrote down. That means you're tied and you get both prizes!"

"You two suck!" Frankie complained as Nina handed over both envelopes.

"You're welcome," Jane whispered to Maura. A knowing smile spread across Maura's face.

After that, they finally got to open the presents. They got a number of useful things—bibs, onesies, bottles, burp cloths—and the usual assortment of rattles, teethers, and stuffed toys. Constance, in addition to the big-ticket items, gave them a fancy little music box that looked like an egg with a spinning rabbit inside (not much use to a baby, but at least it matched the nursery décor) and a designer leather diaper bag (she'd specifically chosen one with a vaguely masculine look so Jane wouldn't mind carrying it). Angela gave them a custom Beatrix Potter print for the nursery wall with Charlotte's name on it ("So you better not change your mind about what you're calling her!" she said when they opened it) and a set of stuffed Beatrix Potter characters. It was all very nice, but Jane's favorite gift was from Frankie: a Red Sox bib, teddy bear, and chew bead necklace. They may have been the least expensive gifts they received that day, but they still made Jane the happiest. This _was_ her kid after all.

Finally the gifts were all opened, the snacks eaten, the guests departed, and Jane and Maura were left to sort the gifts and cards with help from their respective mothers, marking down who gave them what so they could send out proper thank you notes.

"This is the weirdest thing we got," said Jane, holding up the card from Kent. It had some sort of deer on the front and said "Wee Bonnie Bairn" in pink letters. "What the hell is a 'bairn?'"

"It's another word for 'child,' commonly used in Scotland. It's from the Old English 'bearn,' which has the same roots as the word 'bear,' as in, 'to bear children,'" Maura explained.

"Why couldn't he just give us a card in English?" Jane demanded. "Why does everything he does have to be weird?"

"It _is_ in English. I think he just wanted to give her something unique, something that could only have been from him."

"Well he succeeded there." She wrote down what he had given them and put the card on the stack. "I still can't believe he choked on that plastic baby. Ma, it was a terrible idea to put those in people's drinks."

"I thought people would be more careful!" Angela exclaimed. "At least we had a doctor in the house."

"Working around this to give the Heimlich maneuver is _not_ the easiest thing I've ever done," laughed Maura, patting her big stomach.

"Maura, darling, I'm so glad I came," said Constance, giving her daughter the warmest smile she possessed and taking her hands. "I wish your father had been able to come as well. He won't get to see you as you are now, so big with child and so _beautiful_. I'm just so thrilled that you decided to become a mother. I think you'll be a better one than I was."

"Mom, don't be silly. You did an excellent job raising me."

"You're too generous. I wasn't there for you nearly as much as I should have been, but I hope to make a better grandmother than I was a mother."

"Well, you must have done something right," said Jane, in a rare show of generosity. "I mean, look how well she turned out."

"Maura practically raised herself, and did a better job than most parents. That's how I know she'll be an incredible mother for little Charlotte."

"Speaking of which, you still need to see the nursery!" Angela told her. "Come on, I'll show you. It's fit for a princess!"

Jane smiled as the two mothers' voices faded up the stairs. "I suppose we should be grateful they get along."

Maura looked at Jane with a small smile, tilting her head. "You knew I didn't cry when I found out I was pregnant."

"Yeah. I knew."

"You must have really wanted to go to the ballet."

"I'm not sure what's happened to me, but yeah, I want to go with you. You looked so excited when Nina told you about the ballet tickets, and I just…wanted to give you that even more than I wanted to go to the Bruins game. I don't know why you're surprised, I mean you're talking to the person who once ran a whole marathon just to see you smile. And that was back when I thought there was no chance of us ever having sex."

"I know what happened to you. You fell in love." Maura put her arms around Jane and kissed her. "And I think I've fallen in love with you several times by now."

"Yeah?"

"Not that I've ever fallen _out_ of love with you; I just keep falling deeper in. I learn to love you in new ways."

"How so?"

"Well, when I first fell in love with you, I just loved you for who you were. I didn't know what you'd be like in a relationship. Then we started a relationship, and you were amazing, so I kind of fell for you again, as my lover. After my abduction, when I was hurt and you took care of me, I fell for you again because of how well you handled that difficult situation, and how you stood by me even when I felt like I had been destroyed. Now since I've been pregnant, you've found new ways to amaze me, and I've fallen in love with you all over again."

"I'm just doing my job," said Jane modestly, taking Maura's head in her hands.

Maura smiled, her eyes looking a little misty. "Given the data I've collected so far during my time with you, I think it's reasonable to hypothesize that it's going to happen again when I see you with Charlotte. I think it's going to happen in every new situation where I get to see a different side of you. It makes me wonder how many times I'm going to fall in love with you over the course of my lifetime."

"Well, you've found new ways to amaze me every damn day since I've met you. I fall harder for you all the time." She tilted Maura's head back and kissed her, slowly and tenderly, then pulled back a little to stare down into her glittering hazel eyes. "You know," she said, "we have to be absolutely revolting to see."

Maura laughed.


	16. Chapter 16

"I knew it," Jane muttered as they walked into the classroom. "I'm the only woman here who isn't pregnant."

Maura looked around at the other couples attending the childbirth class and saw she was right. Every woman in the room was pregnant and had a man by her side.

"Well, not everyone is here yet," Maura told her. "Perhaps there are other same-sex couples coming." She chose a seat and motioned for Jane to sit beside her. As they waited, one more straight couple and a woman who was by herself joined the class, but that was it. Jane gave Maura a look as the instructor prepared to start class.

"Imagine how the single woman feels!" Maura whispered.

"Good evening everyone," said the instructor with a smile. "My name is Judy, and I am a registered nurse in the OBGYN department in this hospital. Tonight we're going to start by going over how to know when you're in labor and exactly what you can expect during labor and delivery, which will hopefully ease the anxiety some of you might be feeling. I know many of you are first-time mothers who are probably very nervous, but you have to remember that childbirth is a natural process. It's nothing to be afraid of."

"Tell that to all the women who died in childbirth back in the old days," Jane muttered.

"Just be quiet and listen," Maura hissed back.

After going around the room and making everyone say their names, Judy began explaining the anatomical structures involved in childbirth, starting with the cervix, and even Maura found herself getting bored. She probably could have taught this portion of the class when she was 11, but hopefully Jane was learning something.

"Does anyone know how many centimeters the cervix has to dilate to before the baby can come out?" Judy asked.

Maura raised her hand excitedly.

"Maura, put your hand down," Jane said through gritted teeth. "It's not fair for _you_ to answer. You're a doctor."

Maura glanced around, but no other hands were up, so she didn't put hers down. Judy called on her.

"Ten centimeters," she said proudly.

"That is correct!"

Maura smiled proudly as the instructor went into a description of the stages of labor.

"This is exactly what you were like in school, wasn't it?" Jane whispered.

"I don't know what you mean," Maura replied.

Jane rolled her eyes but stayed quiet for most of the lesson. Maura thought she seemed awfully squeamish though, for a big bad homicide detective who could look at a dead body without flinching. She looked nauseous when Judy described the delivery of the placenta, and she seemed ready to pass out when Judy showed them an amniohook (used for breaking the water if it didn't happen naturally). Maura actually grabbed her hand and steadied her when Judy showed them a diagram of someone getting an epidural, and when the subject of episiotomy versus tearing naturally came up, she gaped at Maura as if she had been betrayed.

"You never told me this was going to make you tear," she complained.

"Most women do, but it's usually minor," Maura whispered back.

"Most women experience relatively superficial tears that require few or no sutures," Judy said loudly. "Typically the pain is all but gone in a few weeks. A small percentages of women experience more severe tears that affect the vaginal tissue, perineal skin and muscles, and the rectum, and it may take several months to feel normal again after that. But remember, an episiotomy requires a longer healing time than most spontaneous tears, so it's important to put in your birth plan that you don't want that unless your doctor feels it is absolutely necessary."

"Do you have a birth plan?" Jane asked.

"I'm working on it."

"You're not going to get that cut, are you?"

"No. Like she said, natural tears heal faster."

"I don't want you to tear."

Maura squeezed her hand. "It'll be okay. I'm doing everything I can to reduce my chances of a severe laceration."

"You knew about this, and you didn't tell me. I might not have said yes to this if I knew you were going to tear."

"It's _my_ body. It was my decision to make."

"If you could please save any questions until the end of the PowerPoint and keep your attention up here, that would be great," said Judy, an edge in her voice. Jane gave Maura a "we're-not-done-here" look and turned her attention to a slide that showed a baby's umbilical cord being cut. When they were finished watching the PowerPoint on labor and delivery, Judy took questions and then led a tour through the hospital's maternity ward.

"Next week," Judy said cheerfully when the tour was finished, "we start practicing relaxation and pain management techniques for when you're in labor. Make sure to dress comfortably!"

Normally Maura would have hung back to ask a few more questions, but she could tell Jane was upset, so she decided to go ahead and leave so they could talk.

"You're not still worried about the tearing, are you?" she asked in the car.

"You weren't completely honest with me."

Maura frowned. "I wasn't _dis_ honest. I didn't realize that was something that would bother you."

"You didn't think your vagina getting ripped to shreds would bother me?"

"It's _not_ going to get ripped to shreds. Most likely there will be a few minor lacerations affecting my perineum or vagina and possibly the muscles underneath. They may not even require stitches, and they'll be healed in a matter of weeks."

"Unless you get one of the really bad tears that go through all those layers and shit."

"It's not very likely, but if that does happen, Dr. Kessler will stitch me up layer by layer, and I'll heal over time."

"Yeah, but it may take months, and you'll be in so much pain until then."

"We can't plan around every bad thing that might happen. You knew there were risks."

"Yes, but the other risks were things that probably _won't_ happen. Now I find out that the tearing, at least the 'mild' tearing, is something that probably _will_ happen. Why didn't you tell me about that before we did this?"

"Because I didn't know it would be such a big deal to you, and because it's my place to decide what I'm willing to let happen to my body. Not yours. Just because we're married doesn't mean you have ownership of my body now."

"No, but I do have a duty to protect you!"

"From _myself_?"

"If necessary, yes!"

Maura shook her head in disbelief. "I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this. It's not life-threatening. I'll most likely be healed by the time we're able to have a sex life again anyway. Most people wait six weeks to have time to heal and stop bleeding, and I'm going to be breastfeeding around the clock so it's not as if we're going to have a lot of time and energy for that in the beginning."

" _That's_ what you think this is about? That I'm worried about not being able to fuck you?"

"Well, I'm trying to understand what it _is_ about. Your reaction seems disproportionate to the problem. Almost every woman you know who's had a vaginal delivery has experienced some degree of tearing and is just fine now. A baby's entire head has to pass through my vagina, Jane. It's going to hurt. It's not going to be pretty. But I'm going to be okay. I knew right from the beginning that this was going to happen, and it never occurred to me, after we'd decided to have a baby and that I would carry it, that I needed to clear with you every tiny unpleasant thing that might happen to my body in the process. That wasn't one of the vows I took when we got married. _I_ still own _my_ body."

"I know that! I just would have liked to know, okay? You knew I was afraid this would be bad for your health. I thought we were allowed to stop each other from doing really unhealthy things." Jane pulled the car into the driveway.

"Yes, when it's something big that's going to affect both of us. That's why I discussed the major complications I was most at risk for with you before we started. But this is something that is only going to affect _me_." Maura heaved herself out of the car and closed the door a bit harder than she meant to.

"Really? You really think it's only going to affect you?" Jane followed her in through the back door.

"Yes. You won't even know about it unless I tell you." Maura pulled her coat off and hung it up.

"So now you're considering not telling me?"

"Maybe, if you're going to freak out about it." Maura paused, trying to swallow the tears that threatened to overtake her. "I really don't want to fight. We have a baby coming soon." She looked down and wrapped her arms around her burgeoning stomach. "We might be scaring her."

"Oh Maura, don't cry. Please don't cry." Jane stepped forward and tentatively put her arms around Maura. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Charlotte deserves to have a mommy who doesn't make her other mommy cry."

"Everything makes me cry right now," Maura admitted, clinging to her wife.

"Maybe I am overreacting. I just keep thinking of…before, when you were torn down there and you had to use icepacks, and it broke my heart. I promised myself I'd never let you get hurt that way again."

"So _that's_ what this is about."

"Yeah. I didn't…I guess I should have realized it would be hard to squeeze a baby through there without getting some kind of injury, but it just didn't really cross my mind. Do you think it'll bring stuff up for you?"

"I suppose I won't know until it happens, but I can tell just the idea is triggering for you. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?"

Jane shook her head. "I just need to man up, woman up, whatever. Figure out how to deal with it. Obviously it's part of the process, and I did agree to the process."

"I suppose I should have told you sooner, to give you time to get used to the idea." She lightly kissed Jane's jawline. "I probably _will_ use an icepack after the delivery. A lot of women do. But, I strongly suspect that you and I will both be much too focused on Charlotte to really think about any bad memories."

Jane smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"And I think a lacerated vagina or perineum will be a very small price to pay for this little girl."

"Yeah." Jane hugged Maura close and kissed her temple. "I'm sorry I got upset. I'm just very, very protective over your vagina."

"I know. I think you're protective over all my body parts."

"Well, yeah. They combine to make the most perfect human being I've ever laid eyes on."

Maura leaned her head on Jane's shoulder, smiling. She knew she was very, very far from perfect, but she hoped Jane would never stop seeing her this way.

XXX

"Why do you always say ' _we_ lost' when your team loses a game?" Maura asked Jane as they walked into the Dirty Robber after their date to see the Bruins. "You're not on the team. You were in no way responsible for their loss today."

"If I were on the team, we would have scored more than two goals," Jane grumbled. "I say 'we' because the team represents Boston, and we're part of Boston. The whole city lost today," she insisted, gesturing grandly. "Even you."

"I don't feel like I lost anything. Although you _would_ be in a better mood if they'd won."

"See? It's affecting you too."

They found Frankie sitting at the bar talking to Angela. They both looked up as the ladies approached.

"Hey," said Frankie. "I'm glad I didn't go to that Bruins game after all. I'd have had to see them lose in person."

"I'm still glad I went," said Jane. "Me and Maura haven't gotten out enough lately, and I was able to get this for Charlotte." She pulled out a little Bruins sleeper and showed it to them. "Plus, look at Maura. Maura, take off your coat."

Maura took off her coat, revealing the oversized Bruins jersey she'd reluctantly put on after Jane's "how-many-nice-dresses-have-I-worn-for-you" speech.

"They were sold out of maternity shirts, so I just bought her a really big men's jersey," said Jane. "She looks surprisingly sexy though, doesn't she?"

"I hate it when you ask things like that," complained Frankie.

"Why?"

"Because there's no right answer. If you say Maura looks sexy and I agree with you, you're gonna kick my ass for eyeballing your woman. If I disagree with you, you're gonna kick my ass for insulting your woman. No matter what I say, I get my ass kicked."

"That's because it's a rhetorical question, dumbass. You're not supposed to answer. Anyway, we owe a big thank you to everyone who pitched in to buy us these tickets. You basically gave us our last two nice dates that we don't have to find a babysitter for."

"You're welcome, baby," said Angela. "Every married couple needs to have a night out, just the two of them, every now and then. And you know I'll be more than happy to babysit so you can get that after Charlotte is born too."

"I know. You're probably going to kick us out of the house if we don't go often enough."

Angela put a beer in front of Jane and a glass of water in front of Maura. "How are you doing, Maura dear?"

"Oh, quite well. Charlotte has moved into the head-down position, I've written my birth plan and filed in with my doctor, I've purchased a breast pump for my office, and I'm working on preparing my staff for my maternity leave. Kent will be in charge while I'm gone."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Jane, frowning. "Nobody needs to hear about your breast pump."

" _Everyone_ needs to know about my breast pump so they know not to disturb me when I'm in my office with the door closed."

"They should know better than to do that anyway."

"Everyone who works for me knows that I will be in my office several times a day pumping milk for Charlotte. It's important for them to know what to expect."

"How long is your maternity leave?" Angela asked.

"Jane and I are both taking two months off when Charlotte arrives. After that, Jane is going back to work full-time, and I'm going to be working part-time for an indeterminate period in order to make the transition a little easier on Charlotte." She smiled. "And on myself."

"So I can keep working my normal hours here until your leave is up, and then just cut them back a bit until you're working full-time?"

"Yes Angela, that would be perfect." Maura glanced up as Frankie went outside to take a phone call, then turned back to her mother-in-law. "I'm really looking forward to seeing her and taking care of her. I love her so much already." She fondly stroked her stomach, feeling a kick against her hand.

"You're gonna love it. It's the best feeling there is, having a baby in your arms."

"She must be getting frustrated with how cramped things are getting in there. I know I'm probably imagining it, but her personality seems a bit like Jane's. She doesn't like to be still, and she doesn't like it when we surprise her by pushing back at her. She always jumps."

Angela laughed. "You've got an interesting road ahead of you if she _is_ like Jane. That one," she said, pointing to her daughter, "was a handful. I thought she was going to make me gray before my time."

"Actually, there's no clear link between stress and gray hair," Maura told her.

"You make it sound like _I_ was the difficult one," griped Jane. "Tommy was way worse than I was."

"Tommy had problems that were not his fault. You just felt like being bad."

"I was not _bad_." Jane's eyes wandered to Maura, looking her up and down. "Seriously though, you're the most feminine person I know, but somehow putting you in masculine clothes makes you look super sexy. It's something about the contradiction. I'm not saying you should do it all the time, but every once in a while…"

"It's not really how I prefer to dress," said Maura, amused, "but if it makes you this happy, I suppose I can do it on occasion."

"Remember that time we had to trade clothes and you ended up wearing my suit the rest of the day? You looked so hot."

"You really thought so? You didn't say anything at the time."

"Well of course not. At the time I didn't want you to know I was into you. But you said two women hit on you that day."

"They did! I still think about that grocery store cashier. She was really a very attractive woman."

"Maura!"

"What? I was single then, and I didn't know you were an option."

"I think I would have lost it if you'd gotten together with a woman who wasn't me. The men were bad enough, but if I'd found out you were willing to be with a woman, but someone else got to you first? I don't think any of us wants to know what I would have been like."

They all laughed, but then Frankie returned, and the look on his face quickly sobered them.

"Hey, who was on the phone?" Jane asked.

Frankie drew in a deep breath and released it. "It was Pop. He said he's coming to Boston in a few days. He wants to see all of us, but he specifically wants to talk to you, in person. He sounded pretty serious."

Maura watched as the color drained from Jane's face.


	17. Chapter 17

"My dad's in town. I haven't seen him yet." Jane sat fidgeting on Kendra's couch, avoiding eye contact with the attentive therapist. She had been coming here a couple times a month, when she could make it, since Maura's more recent kidnapping. Nothing against Kendra, but she was getting tired of washing up here. Being here always meant something bad had happened, usually something involving Maura.

"Why haven't you seen him?" Kendra asked.

"I haven't had a chance. He just got into town last night, and I told him I couldn't see him tonight either because I have a date with Maura. I had that scheduled long before he decided to come marching up here with a burning desire to talk to me in person."

"Do you know what he wants to talk about?"

She sighed. "Last time we talked, I told him Maura and I were expecting a baby. He doesn't think it's right for couples like us to have kids. I told him that this is my life now and he can either be part of it or not, but he can't change it. He said he'd have to think about it. I guess he must have thought about it."

"So you think he wants to talk to you about the baby?"

"Yeah, probably. I'm afraid to hear what he has to say."

"It could be good news."

"It could be. But me and Maura have three fathers between us, and from the experiences we've had, I think Charlotte's lucky not to have one."

"How are things going with Maura and the pregnancy?"

"Really well. We had a little bit of a fight after our first childbirth class though."

"What about?"

"They said in the class that almost all women tear at least a little bit when they're giving birth. I thought that only happened in extreme cases, and I was upset that Maura didn't tell me before she got pregnant that this was probably going to happen. I wasn't sure I would have agreed to let her get pregnant if I'd known."

"Why did it bother you so much?"

"It made me think of after Nielson got her, how she was torn up from what he did to her, and she was in so much pain. I told myself I'd never let her get hurt that way again, but now she probably _will_ , and I didn't prevent it because I didn't know. She didn't tell me."

"Do you think she sees it as being hurt the same way again?"

"Well, no, because the tearing might be similar, but the cause is completely different, so it's not really the same. I just would have liked to know. She probably would have convinced me to let her do it anyway, but at least I would have known what to expect, you know? I felt like she was keeping something from me."

"Do you believe she left that detail out on purpose?"

"She says she didn't, and I believe her. It didn't occur to her that I would get so upset about it, and she saw it as something I didn't _need_ to know about in advance to because it wouldn't affect me. I think I triggered her a little because she thought I sounded like I was trying to control her body, and that's something that freaks her out. Understandably."

"It sounds like you were both triggered by things that came up in this class."

"Yeah. And it bugs me, because it's been almost three years since that happened to her, and I keep wondering, how many ordinary events in our lives are going to be affected by this thing from our past? We didn't think ay of that was going to come up in our childbirth class. If that hadn't happened to her, I would have been unpleasantly surprised by the news that her vagina is probably going to rip a little when the baby comes out, but I wouldn't have completely flipped out over it. And even if I had, she wouldn't have gotten so defensive, because she would never have had the experience of someone else taking control over her body."

"But you said it was a small fight."

"Well, yeah. We don't really waste our time with big fights anymore. We've nearly lost each other too many times." Jane traced one of the scars on the back of her hand, feeling the subtle, familiar bump. "We argued a bunch on the way home, then she started to cry and I felt bad and we hugged. She said she's going to keep me better informed about everything that's going to happen so I won't feel blindsided again. I'm almost afraid to know, but I guess I have to. I have to be there for her, and I have to be able to make decisions for her if something goes wrong." Tears welled up in her eyes and she stopped talking.

"You seem very emotional at the thought of something going wrong."

"It's kind of my worst fear, you know? Something bad happening to her on what's supposed to be one of the happiest days of our life."

"It isn't a high-risk pregnancy, is it?"

"No. There's no reason to expect a major complication."

"So what has you so worried?"

Jane shrugged. "I guess knowing that really horrible things _can_ happen to Maura and that I can't always prevent it. That's another aftereffect of what happened almost three years ago, and also that time a year ago when I thought she had been murdered. I no longer have faith that everything will be fine just because I need it to be."

"That is a hard lesson to learn. But there is a difference between knowing bad things _can_ happen and believing they _will_ happen. Most of the time, in spite of our worries, they don't. And the reality is that worrying a lot doesn't prevent tragedy, but it can keep us from enjoying the good things that happen. Which is in itself a tragedy."

"Yes. I know." Jane pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket. "Maura wrote up this birth plan and gave copies of it to everyone who will be there. She did a lot of research first, and she talked to me about it too, but I don't really know much about all this stuff. I have to keep this and make sure everything goes according to her wishes, unless something goes horribly wrong and it can't go according to her wishes. She said that…sometimes labor can be triggering for people who have survived sexual assault, or other kinds of abuse, especially if the hospital environment is too restrictive. So she put in her birth plan that she needs the freedom to move around and to decide what position she wants to be in. I didn't…I didn't even think about any of that."

"It's your first child. You're learning as you go, like all new parents."

"Yeah. She put that she wants a natural childbirth if possible, so she doesn't want to be offered pain meds, although she can ask for them if she changes her mind. She also has a bunch of natural things she wants to do if labor slows down, rather than being induced, and she doesn't want that cut they can do to keep you from tearing. The cut is even worse than a tear, so I'm on board with that. She also put down that I will be cutting the cord, which I'm a little nervous about it, but everyone says I absolutely have to be the one cutting the cord. I don't know why. But anyway, I'm going to cut it, and the blood is going to be preserved in a special bank in case Charlotte ever needs the stem cells from it. We're also supposed to keep her warm with skin-to-skin contact instead of the warming bassinet, and if they have to take her out of the room for any reason, I'm supposed to go with her and not let her out of my sight. We don't want to be separated from her at all."

"It sounds like you have it all thoroughly planned out."

"Yeah. I think we're ready. Maura's been driving me nuts making sure the house is spotless. We set up the bassinet in our bedroom, which is where she will sleep for at least the first six months, and we installed car seats in both of our cars. She's not due until next month, but we're ready for her."

"Good. So have you thought about what you're going to say to your father when you see him?"

"Apparently he's got something to say to me, so I'll hear him out. My stance isn't going to change though. If he's ready to accept my life as is, without judging, he can be a part of it."

"That sounds very sensible. I'm very proud of you for being able to stand your ground. It isn't always easy with family."

"Yeah, well, it's not just about me anymore, is it?"

Kendra looked up at the clock. "We're out of time for today, but I'd like to work more on the anxiety you're feeling surrounding the birth of your child. Will you be back in two weeks?"

"As long as nothing comes up, yeah. I gotta get ready to take Maura to the ballet now."

She decided on her way out that there was just enough time to stop by the florist before she went home. This was, after all, one of the last few dates they'd be going on before the baby came, and probably the last one that would be particularly fancy, so she wanted to do it right. She picked out a nice colorful bouquet, put it in Charlotte's new infant seat to keep it safe, and sped home.

She came in through the back door to find her mother deep cleaning the kitchen. "Hey, I'm here to pick up my date," she announced. "She's got you cleaning now, too?"

"I volunteered. She's got that nesting instinct going on right now, but she's so exhausted. I wanted to help." She looked up and saw the flowers Jane was holding. "Aw, Janie, look at you! I would never have guessed that you would turn out to be my most romantic child. All those years of you showing no interest in romance, and all you needed was to find the right person. Maura's a lucky lady."

Jane blushed. "Do you know if she's ready?"

"She's upstairs. You'll have to check and see." She hesitated. "I talked to your father earlier. He really wants to see you tonight."

"I already told him, it'll have to wait until tomorrow. I've got a hot date tonight. He's waited this long; he can wait another day."

"I told him that. I told him, 'Jane doesn't let anything come between her and her quality time with Maura.' He said he'd wait."

Jane turned towards the stairs, then turned back. "Do you think…do you think he's finally coming around about all this?"

"I don't know, baby. I hope so, but I still kinda got the impression he doesn't think of Maura as being part of the family."

"You know, I thought maybe he was going to be okay after he came to the wedding and acted normal, but from everything he's said since then, it sounds like he still thinks I turned sour on men and decided to do stuff with my best friend that I should be doing with a husband. And it hurts that he thinks that."

"I know." She put down her cleaning rag and took Jane's hand. "Whatever he says when you talk to him, Janie, just remember that the rest of us understand how much Maura means to you, and we love her too. She's been such a blessing to have in this family, and I know you're going to be wonderful mothers together. And Charlotte has a big, beautiful family with or without your father."

"I know. Thanks, Ma." Jane went up to the bedroom, holding the flowers behind her back. She found Maura standing at the dresser in an elegant royal blue maternity dress. Her hair was swept up in a bun, and she was fastening on a necklace to match her diamond earrings. For a moment she didn't realize Jane was there, and Jane's breath caught as she watched Maura alone, lost in thought, fixing herself up for Jane. _This is actually my wife. This beautiful, perfect creature is the woman I get to spend my whole life with_.

Maura noticed her standing there and turned with a dazzling smile. "Jane!"

Jane loved the way her name sounded in Maura's mouth. Always she sounded delighted to see her, as if she had just found the one thing she needed to make her life complete.

"My lady," Jane said, taking Maura's hand and kissing it. "You look positively stunning." She held the flowers out in a grand gesture.

"Oh, Jane, thank you!" Maura sniffed the flowers, still looking at Jane with sparkling hazel eyes. "They're beautiful."

"I don't buy my woman flowers that are merely _pretty_." She knelt down and planted a kiss on Maura's stomach. "Hey Charlotte, we're all going to the ballet tonight, and we have aisle seats, but if you could avoid squishing Mommy's bladder too much and making her miss a lot of the show, I'm sure she'd appreciate it." Maura giggled. "Also, I'm sure you're comfy in there, but when you come out you'll finally get to see your gorgeous Mommy, and you are going to be _blown away_."

Maura tilted her head in the cute way she always did when someone gave her a compliment, a pleased smile on her face. When Jane straightened back up, Maura put her arms around her neck and kissed her deeply. Jane savored the feeling of her wife in her arms and their baby between them, trying to file this away in someplace her memory where she could find this moment, this very exact moment, years from now.

"Well," she said when Maura finally pulled back. "I guess we'd better get going, or we won't make the restaurant in time for our reservation."

"Yes," Maura agreed tentatively, "but you're not going like that, are you?"

Jane looked down at the suit she'd worn to work. "What's wrong with this?" Maura gave her a look that seemed to say "Where do I start?" and Jane burst out laughing. "Did you set something out for me?"

"There's a dress on your side of the bed. You've never worn it before, but I thought it would look lovely on you."

Jane walked around the bed and picked up the sleek black dress, shaking her head. "You're lucky I love you so much."

"I know!" Maura beamed, watching her change.

XXX

"I'm so proud of you. You only needed five bathroom breaks during that performance," Jane joked as they arrived back home that night.

"I'm just glad we had aisle seats. No one wants an enormous pregnant woman climbing over them in a theatre!" Maura replied, her arm linked through Jane's.

"At least it would have been a _cute_ giant pregnant woman." Maura looked at Jane, who quickly realized her mistake. "Did I say _giant_ pregnant woman? I meant to say surprisingly petite for someone who is eight months pregnant. Why, you barely look more than eight _days_ pregnant."

Maura burst out laughing as they walked into the kitchen, but they both stopped in their tracks when they saw Jane's parents at the kitchen counter drinking coffee.

"Pop," Jane said quietly. "I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow."

"I didn't want to wait another day," he said. "I need to talk to you."

"I'm going to go get ready for bed," Maura said softly, giving Jane's arm a squeeze.

"Okay. I love you," Jane said, pulling her in for a kiss. Normally she would have hesitated to show this much affection in front of her father, but she was tired of shielding him.

"I love you too," said Maura, giving her a reassuring smile before disappearing upstairs.

"I guess I'll go back to the guest house," said Angela. She squeezed Jane's hand as she passed her on the way out.

"Well, Pop," said Jane. "What did you need to say to me that couldn't wait until morning?"

He picked up a teddy bear from the seat beside him. "I just wanted to give you this for the baby, and to let you know that, even though I may not understand all these new ways of doing things, that baby is my flesh and blood and I want to be a good grandfather to her. I'm willing to put all my old-fashioned ideas aside and just be part of her life, and yours. The way she came into the world doesn't make a difference to me."

Jane hesitantly took the teddy bear. "So that's all that matters? That she's your flesh and blood?"

"Yeah. It's all that matters. Like your ma always said, blood is thicker than water."

"She used to say that," Jane agreed. "But what if this baby wasn't your flesh and blood, Pop? What if she was Maura's biological child, or we adopted her?"

"What does it matter? That's not what happened."

"It could have been. Maura's the one who convinced me to use my egg for this baby. I wanted to use hers. If we had done that, would you be saying the same thing?"

"I don't know, but it's not important. I'm willing to love this baby and not care how you had her, okay?"

"That's not good enough." Jane handed back the teddy bear. "I need you to be able to say that you love her because she's the child I will be raising with the woman I love. I need you to say that if she's my daughter, then she's your granddaughter, regardless of whose DNA she has. I need you to say that you will love the next one just as much even if it's not your flesh and blood, because it probably won't be."

"What, you're going to do this again?"

"Yes. We want two kids, one that's biologically mine and one that's biologically hers. But we will consider both children to be equally mine, and equally hers. They will both be your grandchildren, one no more than the other. I need you to tell me you see it that way."

"Look, I don't know, okay? The way I was raised, family is your blood. It's who you're related to. You, Tommy, Frankie, T.J., and this baby, you're my blood. I don't know what I'll think of your friend's baby, I mean I can still treat it fairly and everything. But family is family, you know?"

Jane closed her eyes for a moment. "Yes," she agreed quietly. "Family is family. And when you start your own family, they have to come first, right? For me that's my _wife_ and our daughter. You still don't see them as my family, Pop, not the way I do. That means you're still not ready to be a part of my life."

"What are you talking about? You told me to let you know when I was ready to accept your life the way it is. I told you, I may not understand it, but I want to be part of it."

"That's not good enough," she said, her voice a bit louder now. "Charlotte's not going to grow up around a grandpa who sees her moms as just being friends, okay? If you can't see my family as being just as real as the one you raised, then you're still not ready to be part of it."

The back door opened and Angela came in mumbling about having forgotten something, though she stopped in her tracks when she saw the looks on Jane's and Frank's faces.

"I was just going up to bed," Jane told her. "Don't forget to lock up."

She slipped upstairs without another word to her father and found Maura in her pajamas, removing her makeup at the bathroom sink. She looked up in surprise, quickly taking in Jane's tired expression. There was so much love in those eyes, Jane thought; so much more than it seemed one person could hold.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Maura asked gently.

"Not yet," said Jane. "I just need to go to bed."

She quickly changed into her pajamas, brushed her teeth, and climbed between the silk sheets of the luxurious bed she still felt a little out of place in. It didn't matter, though, because soon Maura was there beside her, and Jane knew she belonged wherever Maura was. She slid into Maura's waiting arms, feeling the roundness of her protruding stomach against her. "I love you both so much," she murmured.

"I know." Maura kissed her face. "And we both love you."

Jane stroked Maura's belly, wishing she could touch this little baby she would already do anything for. Her heart ached, but tears weren't coming. She knew she had done the right thing for her family, and she knew her mother was right about them having a big, beautiful family with or without her father.

Charlotte would never miss him.


	18. Chapter 18

"You're grimacing," Jane said accusingly, parking the car in the driveway.

"I'm okay," Maura promised, gratefully pushing herself out of the car. She had gone to the bathroom right before they left work, but that didn't change the fact that she desperately needed to go again now. It had been this way ever since the baby had dropped down lower in her abdomen a week ago. She felt like her days now were all about trying to squeeze work and rest in between trips to the bathroom. On the plus side, there was more room for her lungs now, so at least she wasn't getting out of breath so easily.

"Are you having another contraction?"

"I was. It's over now." Maura hurriedly waddled towards the door.

"But we still don't need to go to the hospital?"

"No. They're still irregular, and I go hours at a time without having them. The best thing we can do right now is keep on with our normal lives."

"You're the boss," said Jane uncertainly as Maura disappeared into the bathroom.

When Maura came back out of the bathroom, Jane was starting dinner. She hated to cook, but Maura felt completely wiped out by the end of the work day, so she had voluntarily taken over dinner duty. She looked up when she noticed Maura watching her.

"I don't want you to be concerned," began Maura, "but—"

"I hate sentences that start like that," Jane cut in.

"It's really okay. I've just lost my mucus plug. I thought you should know."

Jane frowned. "Aside from that being the grossest thing you've ever said to me," she said slowly, "that means the stuff that plugged up your cervix fell out?"

"Yes."

"And that means labor is close, but doesn't necessarily mean it's here."

"Good, you remembered!"

"So it fell out."

"Yes. And we don't need to do anything right now, but…it does look like she's going to get here ahead of her due date."

Jane nodded solemnly. "But you're full-term."

"Yes. 38 weeks. She should be just fine."

Jane nodded again and returned her attention to dinner.

XXX

The contractions had actually started the previous day, but they had stopped for a while when she went to bed. Tonight they did not. A few contractions were strong enough to wake her up, but she didn't wake Jane. They still weren't coming frequently enough to warrant a trip to the hospital, and Jane needed her rest for what was to come. It could be time in just a few hours. Or it could take a few more days. It wasn't likely to be any longer than that, though.

"You're grimacing again," Jane pointed out on the way to work the next morning.

"The contractions are coming a little more frequently, but still no more than every ten minutes or so," Maura told her.

"That seems like a lot. Are you sure you should be at work? Even if it's not time for the hospital yet, we can still call in sick and just stay home."

"And what if they slow back down again, or stop altogether? We'll have used up a sick day for nothing. We're going to need those later, Jane."

Jane sighed. "Fine. But call me the second anything changes. I will answer, no matter where I am or what I'm doing."

The contractions increased as the morning progressed until there was little more than five minutes between them, but they were still mild enough that she could work through them. As she prepared for the body that was going to be delivered that morning - not one of Jane's cases, unless Maura found something suspicious – she pondered the fact that she was going to be a mother very, very soon. A normal person would have called her own mother with the news that she was likely in early labor, but neither of Maura's mothers seemed enthusiastic about the topic of childbirth. While Constance would go on about how much she looked forward to meeting Charlotte, she seemed to change the subject when Maura spoke of the impending birth. Perhaps she simply didn't know what to say, having never experienced it herself. Hope seemed only interested in discussing the topic from a medical point of view. The memory of Maura's birth still filled her with guilt, and the topic of Maura giving birth seemed to bring all that up for her. Maura had learned to just avoid the subject.

So she had no mother of her own to call and discuss her mixture of fear and excitement with, the way Jane could always do with Angela. Of course Maura knew she could also talk to Angela about anything, and she felt very fortunate to have that kind of bond with her mother-in-law. She knew it was rare. But still, it wasn't the same. She would never quite have the exact sort of mother-daughter relationship she'd always dreamed of, and it left her feeling a little empty.

When the body arrived, Maura realized she was on her last pair of gloves and sent Kent to get more from the store room. She was just beginning her examination of the body when she felt a gush of warm liquid between her legs. She looked down at the clear puddle on the floor in surprise.

"So this means today's the day, my sweet girl," she said quietly, touching the bump that would soon begin shrinking away. "We'll be seeing each other soon."

She looked at the time as she took out her phone to call Jane. 10:31 am, March fourth, 2016. Today would be Charlotte's birthday, unless she came after midnight, in which case her birthday would be March fifth. Maura hoped it wouldn't take that long, though.

"Hey Maura," said Jane's voice on the other end of the line. "You okay?"

"Yes. My water just broke," Maura told her calmly.

"What? Where are you?" Jane's words sounded clipped, as if she were running.

"I'm in the autopsy room. I'm just going to clean up here and then I'll be ready to go."

"Stay where you are! I'll be right there!" Jane shouted, and Maura could hear the car starting.

Maura frowned as she hung up the phone. Was Jane afraid she would try to go to the hospital by herself?

Kent returned as she was struggling to clean up her mess, not an easy task since bending down had become nearly impossible. "Is that amniotic fluid?" he asked.

"Yes," she admitted. "My water broke."

"Does Detective Rizzoli know?"

"She's on her way."

He nodded. "Go rest in your office. I'll clean up."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. I've cleaned up far worse messes than this. Go get on some clean clothes and relax for a bit. There's no need to do any extra work while you're in labor."

Maura smiled gratefully. "Well then, I suppose my maternity leave starts now. I guess I'll see you in two months!"

"You'll see me before then. I'll have to come by to see that wee little girl of yours!"

"Then I will see you soon. Thank you for taking care of the lab for me."

Naturally, Maura kept a change of clothes in her office, and she'd been bringing her hospital suitcase to work each day since reaching full term. Once she got changed, she rolled her suitcase over to the couch and eased herself down. Another contraction was coming, only four minutes after the last one, and a bit more intense. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly, trying to envision the peaceful place she had thought of during the childbirth classes. She could see it so clearly: Santorini. The hotel built into the cliffs. Her honeymoon with Jane. She could almost feel the hot sun on her shoulders, the floppy hat on her head that Jane kept making jokes about. Jane had tried on a similar hat at the local shops and strutted around striking poses to make Maura laugh. At night they would go out on the private patio that was part of their honeymoon suite and get in their Jacuzzi. Maura remember lying back in Jane's arms, the water bubbling around them, fingering Jane's new wedding band that matched her own and thinking, _this is my wife. My wife._ She'd never been so deliriously happy before.

Maura realized her contraction had passed and opened her eyes, still smiling at the memory. She took her phone back out and called Dr. Kessler's office to notify her that she was in active labor and was about to go to the hospital. By the time she hung up, she could hear a loud clomping in the hallway, which could only mean one thing. She turned towards the door just as Jane came barreling into the room, hair flying.

"Hey. I drove here as fast as I could. How are you doing? Are you okay?"

"My contractions are four minutes apart, and I just called Dr. Kessler. I'm ready to go."

"How do you look so calm?" asked Jane, helping Maura off the couch.

"I have no reason not to be calm. The contractions aren't too strong yet, although they're getting stronger."

"Aren't you scared?" Jane grabbed the suitcase and put a gentle hand on Maura's back, steering her towards the elevator.

"A little. But I take comfort in knowing that I have a plan in place, and I have you."

Jane smiled. "I hope I'll be enough. I parked the car right out front. I can turn the siren on and get us to the hospital in no time flat, if you want."

"Wouldn't that be a misuse of your authority?"

"Are you worried someone will arrest me?"

"Even cops can be arrested."

"I'd like to see someone try." Jane helped Maura down the steps and into the passenger seat of her car.

"There's no need to turn on the siren," Maura assured her. "We'll get there in plenty of time."

And Jane listened, until the next contraction hit as they were driving. At that point Jane panicked and turned the siren on over Maura's objections, so it was with a bit of fanfare that they arrived at the hospital's doors. Jane quickly fetched an orderly with a wheelchair, and soon Maura was checked in and getting settled in her room.

"Oh no," said Jane suddenly. "Frankie! I left Frankie at a witness's house! I didn't even tell him I was leaving!"

"Did he ride with you?"

"Yes! We went out together to talk to this lady, and I just left him there with no transportation. In East Boston. I have to go call him." She ran out into the hallway, then came back 30 seconds later looking relieved. "He figured out what was going on and called Nina to pick him up," she said.

"It probably wasn't that hard to guess," remarked Maura.

For about the next five hours, the situation was pretty tame. The contractions continued coming every four minutes, increasing in intensity. Maura walked through the halls off and on with Jane by her side. When a contraction hit, she would stop and lean wordlessly against Jane, who would rub her back. She tried to keep visualizing their honeymoon, but it was getting harder as the pain worsened. When she got tired, she would lie down in bed for a while, and Jane would massage her back using the oils Maura had packed in her suitcase. Around noon, Maura managed to eat a very light lunch, though Jane was too nervous to eat anything. Occasionally the labor and delivery nurse would come in to see how far Maura was dilated. Each time it was a little more than the time before, which meant things were progressing the way they should.

Around four the nurse told Maura she was up to eight centimeters, which meant it wouldn't be long before she reached the full ten. Maura wasn't surprised. Her contractions were now coming every three minutes and were so intense they left her shaking. Jane seemed worried, so Maura reassured her as soon as she caught her breath.

"This is perfectly normal," she promised. "Everything's going quite well so far."

Jane nodded. "I just hate to see you in so much pain." Her voice broke as she struggled to hold back tears, and Maura squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"It's okay. I chose not to have pain medication because labor progresses more quickly without it, and because it would take away my freedom to move around. I can handle it."

"I could have been the one doing this," Jane said quietly.

"I'm still glad it's me."

"Where is Dr. Kessler, anyway? I thought you called her hours ago."

"The hospital is keeping her updated. She'll be here when I need her. In the meantime, she has other patients to see, and the hospital staff is taking good care of me."

Jane stroked Maura's hair. "I know everyone thinks I'm the badass one, but it's totally you. It's always been you."

Maura was about to say something nice in response, but at that moment her lunch decided to come back up. She grabbed the pan from the bedside table just in time, and the nurse hurried in to clean up after her. She asked Maura if she wanted a cold pack, and Maura nodded before being overtaken by an extremely painful contraction that made her feel like her lower back was breaking in two. She had been lying on her left side, but now she pushed herself up on all fours, her head down and her eyes screwed shut, all images of a sunny Greek honeymoon far out of her reach.

"You're doing great, honey," Jane said, her voice calmer now. The nurse returned with the cold pack, which Jane pressed against Maura's forehead. Maura breathed heavily as the contraction passed, the cold soothing against her hot face.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Even though I did this to you?"

She smiled weakly. "Yes."

"I love you more than ever," Jane whispered.

At six o'clock, Dr. Kessler arrived. Her check revealed that Maura was now dilated ten centimeters.

Close to six thirty, Maura began to feel the urge to push. Dr. Kessler encouraged her to do exactly that with each contraction, though they were coming less frequently now. Maura found that pushing made the contractions much more bearable; although the baby was still solidly inside of her, she still felt like she was actually accomplishing something, that she was working towards eliminating the source of the pain.

They had practiced various birthing positions in their class, and Maura ran through the different ones in her mind. Standing, she decided, was a good one to try. She'd have gravity on her side, and the opening of her pelvis would actually be a little wider. So she got out of bed and Jane, remembering what they'd learned, moved immediately to support her from behind.

"I've got you," she murmured in Maura's ear. "Just do your thing."

Maura got through two contractions like that before deciding she was too tired to stand any longer. "I need my birthing ball," she said, and Jane rolled the ball over to her. Maura squatted down and leaned forwards on the ball. Gravity would still assist her in this position, and the baby would be nicely aligned. But after a few more pushes, she realized she didn't have the energy to do it this way either.

"I need my bed," she said finally, and Jane helped her get back in bed on her left side. Maura instantly felt a sense of comfort; after all, this was the position she'd been sleeping in for some time. She'd often slept this way even before she got pregnant, because lying on her left side meant she was facing Jane. Here, of course, she did not have Jane in bed beside her, but at least Jane was standing next to the bed, brushing her sweaty hair out of her face. She wasn't going to get much help from gravity in this position, but at least she could rest between contractions. Jane got a pillow to put between Maura's knees and then braced herself for the next contraction, taking Maura's hand in hers.

"Come on, Maura. You've got this," she said encouragingly, although her voice sounded tired.

Another contraction came, and Maura pushed with all her might. Dr. Kessler checked her when she was done pushing and announced that she could see the head. Maura reached down in wonder and touched the very top of a soft, slimy head. Jane, who had previously seemed a bit squeamish about seeing Maura's vagina with a baby passing through, craned her neck to see it and broke into a smile.

"She's got hair already," she said.

"What color is it?" asked Maura.

Jane grinned at her. "Dark. Like mine."

Maura drew in her breath. Charlotte had Jane's hair. She had to get her out quickly so she could look at her and see what other features of Jane's she might have.

Maura pushed her way through the next few contractions, moving Charlotte down little by little. She began to feel a burning sensation, which she knew was her tissues stretching to make way for the baby.

"I need you to stop pushing for a bit and give her some time to stretch you out slowly," Dr. Kessler advised. "I know it may be difficult not to, but you're less likely to tear this way."

She was right about it being difficult not to. Every time a contraction came, all she wanted to do was push as hard as she could to get the baby out of there so the whole thing would be over with. Not pushing made the contractions seem more painful, made her feel like she was no longer in control of the situation. But she knew how scared Jane was of her tearing, and she didn't want it either, although it hardly seemed like the most important thing at the moment. So she followed doctor's orders and breathed her way through the next two contractions, until Dr. Kessler said the baby was crowning.

Maura began to push again, and the reports from Dr. Kessler and Jane grew increasingly excited as Charlotte's face emerged. Soon her entire head was out. Dr. Kessler suctioned a bit of mucus away from her mouth and nose, and then Charlotte let out her first cry.

It was _loud_.

Maura didn't have the energy to comment, but she raised her eyebrows slightly at Jane. Jane just shrugged and turned her attention back to the emerging baby.

"Okay, I have a shoulder," said Dr. Kessler. "I have her left arm. Here comes the right shoulder…I have the right arm…"

And finally, at 7:15 exactly, Charlotte's entire body was out in the world. Maura turned onto her back for her first look at her newborn daughter. Dr. Kessler was holding her while the nurse quickly dried her off with a towel. She had a headful of hair, the exact color of Jane's, and her tiny mouth was open wide in an eardrum-shattering scream. She sounded furious and a little indignant, as if she had no idea what was going on but needed it to stop, immediately. As soon as the umbilical cord stopped pulsing, Dr. Kessler clamped it and let Jane cut it. And just like that, Maura was no longer physically connected to her child.

"I think we can safely say her lungs are in good condition," said Dr. Kessler with a smile, bringing the baby towards Maura. Maura hastily pulled her gown down around her shoulders, exposing her chest, on which Dr. Kessler now laid the screaming baby. The nurse covered Charlotte with a warmed blanket, and Maura tentatively wrapped her arms around this little new person, who was beginning to quiet now that she was against the warmth of her mother's skin.

Maura lifted a tiny hand, marveling at fingers that seemed almost too small to be real but that bent in all the right places, at unbelievably tiny but absolutely perfect fingernails.

"You did it," said Jane in relief, kissing Maura's face and resting a hand on Charlotte's back.

"We did it," Maura said in a hushed voice, unable to take her eyes off her daughter. "We made a whole new person."

Maura had fallen in love with Jane slowly, over countless conversations and impromptu sleepovers and unplanned adventures. But she fell in love with Charlotte all at once, and all Charlotte had to do was exist. Maura felt tears running down her face and did nothing to stop them. Her earlier thoughts about how her own mothers had let her down seemed insignificant now that she was a mother herself.

And she realized, as she pressed her lips to Charlotte's head, that she could still have the mother-daughter relationship she wanted after all.

XXX

"Okay, give me back my baby. Visiting hours are ending. You can all come back tomorrow."

Maura watched from her bed as Jane pried a sleeping Charlotte from Angela's unwilling arms.

"But we just got here!" Angela complained.

"You can come back in the morning. We all need our rest."

Maura was glad Jane was so good at putting her foot down. Maura tended to worry too much about hurting people's feelings, but Jane had no problem laying down the law. And she was right: Angela, Frankie, Korsak, Kiki, and Nina needed to leave so Maura could sleep. The burst of energy she'd had right after the birth was gone now, and she was quite reasonably exhausted. All she wanted was to feed her baby and then sleep for as long as Charlotte would let her.

Charlotte was two hours old now. She'd been given a sponge bath and was wrapped up snugly in a blanket with a little cap on her head. She was almost twenty inches long and weighed six pounds, thirteen ounces. She'd decided she was ready for her first meal when she was 23 minutes old. She had trouble latching on at first, which caused Maura to panic thinking she was already failing at motherhood, but, with help from the lactation consultant, they got her going and she was able to get her fill of colostrum.

Maura was glad that Charlotte was back in Jane's arms now. It felt almost physically painful to watch her being passed around to other people, even though Charlotte didn't seem to mind. Maura didn't say anything because she wanted everyone to get the chance to bond with Charlotte, and she knew she was just having a hard time making the transition from having Charlotte physically connected to her all the time to having Charlotte out in the world, a completely separate being. It didn't feel so painful to see Jane hold her, though. She actually quite liked seeing the two of them together. Jane just looked so happy holding her, and she'd certainly earned the right to hold her as much as she pleased. But Maura wanted everyone else to leave so it would be just the three of them again.

Both Maura and Charlotte had passed their exams with flying colors. Charlotte received an APGAR score of nine out of ten, meaning that her pulse, reflexes, muscle tone, respiration, and coloring were all what they should be (Dr. Kessler said she would have given her a three in the respiration category if she could have). Maura delivered the placenta without incident and had no unusual bleeding. She did have a few small tears, but they didn't need suturing. Maura couldn't even feel any specific pain from the tearing; she just knew that her entire body felt a bit like she imagined being run over by a truck must feel.

"Just let me get one more picture," Angela begged, pulling her phone out as the others headed to the door. "I can't believe how much hair she has. My kids were all born bald!"

"She looks beautiful," said Jane, lightly touching the hair that stuck out from under the cap. "It's a good thing you got that baby hairbrush, Maura. We're going to need it right away after all."

As Angela snapped what must have been a dozen more pictures, Charlotte began to stir, rooting around for Jane's nipple.

"Sorry, honey, you need your mommy for that," Jane told her. "I know it looks like I could do it, but I can't. I wish I could."

Maura was a little surprised by that statement. Jane had said throughout the pregnancy how weird it was going to be to see Maura feeding the baby with her boobs, had asked Maura several times if she thought it would feel strange (which it did, actually, at least right now), so Maura had never thought Jane would actually want to do it herself.

Charlotte, frustrated with Jane's failure to feed her, let out a wail that was much bigger than she was. Maura reached her hands out for her as everyone else stared at Jane.

"That is the loudest baby I've ever heard," remarked Korsak.

"So why are you all looking at me?" griped Jane, handing Charlotte back to Maura.

"Because you're obviously where she gets it from!" said Frankie. "She sounds exactly like you when you're mad. Well, the baby version of you."

"That _is_ what Jane sounded like when she was a baby," said Angela. "I could never keep that girl happy. Until she could walk and talk, she was mad all the time."

"Enough! Everybody out!" Jane demanded. "Maura has to feed the baby now!"

Everyone else ducked out the door pretty quickly, but Angela lingered. Maura began to get her breast out, all modesty cast aside in her urgent need to feed her child.

"It's not like I haven't seen a woman breastfeed before," said Angela.

" _Out!_ " Jane yelled, her angry voice even louder that Charlotte's cries. They really did sound a lot alike.

Angela reluctantly left, and Jane closed the door behind her. Charlotte latched on a little faster than before, and the room was finally quiet again. Maura breathed a sigh of relief as Jane sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"Well, my mother's already driving us nuts," said Jane.

"She's just excited," Maura said tiredly.

Jane watched as Charlotte hungrily sucked in more colostrum. "What does it feel like when she does that?"

"A little painful," Maura admitted. "But not nearly as painful as labor!"

"You did great with that," Jane told her. "I'm not sure I could have made it without pain meds, but you're like Superwoman. I'm so proud of you." She kissed Maura's head.

"I'm proud of you too. You didn't freak out."

"Mm, I just hid it well. Inside I was completely freaking out. I'm glad we have Charlotte, but I don't really want to see you like that again."

Maura could hardly hold her eyes open anymore. "You were amazing," she murmured. "I really love you."

"I love you too," said Jane, fingering Maura's hair. "I love everything about you. I love you more than anything…except Charlotte. I love you _and_ Charlotte more than anything."

Maura smiled. "I think I can live with that."


	19. Chapter 19

Epilogue

Boston sparkled at night, but Paris glittered and glowed.

Jane paused on her way back from the bathroom to look out the window of their sixth floor hotel suite at the beautiful skyline. They'd gotten a room with an Eiffel tower view, of course, because Maura was booking and would never have gone for anything less. Jane had come to Paris once before on a low-budget school trip, but that time she'd roomed with a classmate in a tiny hotel room in one of the outer arrondissements, with a great view of the simple bakery across the street and little else. They'd had a whirlwind tour of key museums like the Louvre over a period of three days before taking a train to Lourdes for another three days (it was a Catholic school trip, after all) and then flying back to Boston. This trip with Maura was much, much different.

Jane turned to look around the bedroom that had been hers for a week now, and would be for the next three weeks. Maura said the furniture was in the style of Louis-something or another. All Jane knew was that it was fancy, old-fashioned, and very French. There was a king-sized bed that currently contained a very beautiful and very naked sleeping blonde. There was a desk, on which rested Maura's laptop, which she was using to write her first novel. And there was a white crib, provided by the hotel, in which Charlotte slept with a stuffed rabbit at her side, her little chest rising and falling with each breath. She had just turned ten months old, which didn't even seem possible. She was crawling now, and pulling up on things, constantly finding new things to get into. She certainly knew how to keep her parents hopping.

A lot had happened in those ten months. Unfortunately, it took until Charlotte was two months old for them to finally identify the stalker who had been terrorizing Jane for almost a year. The discovery was almost anticlimactic: it was Alice Sands, a classmate Jane barely remembered from the Police Academy. For reasons they would probably never completely understand, Alice blamed Jane for the downward spiral her life had taken over the years, and believed she was getting revenge. She managed to get one more attack in before they were able to catch her. This time, she attempted to shoot Jane herself after Korsak and Kiki's wedding reception. Jane had seen the gun in time, but the entire crowd from the wedding had been outside, so there was mass chaos.

Fortunately, Maura's parents were visiting at the time, and Charlotte was home with them instead of at the wedding. But Nina was shot in the shoulder, and Maura had somehow fallen while trying to get away and hit her head, hard, on the brick wall of the Dirty Robber. While Nina thankfully recovered quickly from her gunshot wound, Maura's head injury was a problem long after Alice was dead. At first Maura insisted it was no big deal. A superficial forehead wound, perhaps a concussion. She refused to even take a day off work. But she passed out at work the next day, and a CT scan revealed bleeding in her brain, bleeding which was causing her cognitive difficulties and dizzy spells. It was obvious when Maura told Jane about the scan results that she was putting on a brave face, telling Jane she wasn't going to let it get her down even though she was clearly terrified.

Jane, for her part, put on her own brave face and calmly assured Maura that they would get through this as they had gotten through so many other things, but inside she was raging. Maura's big, beautiful brain was injured, and now it wasn't working right. It had never occurred to Jane that such a thing might happen. Worse still, the dizzy spells made Maura worry she would drop Charlotte, so she would ask Jane to take her as soon as she was done nursing. Jane was determined that the monster who made Maura afraid to hold her own baby was going to pay somehow.

In the end, Jane didn't really want to kill Alice Sands, but Alice left her with no choice. And, once she was gone, the nightmare was over…except that Maura's brain still wasn't better. Maura was still struggling to remember words she said all the time, like "mass spectrometer," and occasionally she would be overtaken by dizziness. She discovered she had some sort of underlying medical condition that had been dormant until her brain injury, which meant she might not get better on her own. She got back into fencing—an activity she'd done in school, but not much as an adult—in the hopes that it would help her brain form new neural pathways to help her overcome the condition. Jane thought it seemed like a pretty desperate last ditch effort, but she wasn't complaining. Maura was _hot_ when she was fencing. Jane hoped she would never stop, even once her brain was better.

Three months after the shooting, Maura gave up on trying to fence her way out of the brain condition and had outpatient surgery to fix the underlying problem. Jane was worried sick about her, but the surgery was a success, and Maura kept fencing just for fun. Shortly afterwards, she began writing her first mystery novel.

A month later, Jane reluctantly left her wife and baby for a few days to guest lecture a class of FBI recruits at Quantico. She did so well they offered her a permanent job there. She turned it down of course, since she didn't want to uproot her family, but it gave her an idea. Perhaps there was a way to stay within the field she loved while still making her family a bit safer. A particularly dangerous undercover assignment cinched it for her. Maura and Charlotte deserved to know that Jane would be coming home to them every night, fully intact. So she talked to one of her old teachers at the Boston Police Academy to find out if it would be possible to get a job there. He told her he knew of someone who would be retiring soon, and that, while she'd have to get certified and do a formal interview, he didn't think she'd have any trouble getting the job. Her reputation preceded her, he said. He knew she had a lot to teach the new recruits.

After discussing it with Maura, Jane began to put the wheels in motion. She went through training to become a certified instructor, got an internship set up for the spring, and resigned from her job as homicide detective. That was the hardest part: leaving behind a job she loved, a job she'd worked so hard for, one she'd expected to stay in until retirement. Korsak was leaving too, so the job wouldn't be quite the same even if she stayed, but she still would have Maura. Going downstairs to see Maura was how Jane refreshed herself when she was tired or stressed. Now she wouldn't have that anymore, and she knew Maura was sad about it too.

But the new job would allow her to work more regular hours and take more time off, which would give her a lot more time to spend with Charlotte. She had missed too many things already. She wasn't there when Charlotte rolled over for the first time, or when she started crawling. She wasn't the one who fed Charlotte her first solid foods, and she found out from her mother when Charlotte started cutting her first tooth. Even Maura was there more than Jane was. She'd been able to cut back her hours and leave early most days, giving her more time both to spend with Charlotte and to work on her book. In the end, switching jobs would give Jane more quality time with both of her girls, and that was what mattered most.

Jane wasn't the only one making life changes. Korsak had married Kiki and then put in for retirement, though he would still be running the Dirty Robber. Frankie had started dating Nina, and now they were newly engaged. Angela had broken up with her boyfriend, Ron, then gotten back together with him, and now things were looking pretty serious. And Lydia had walked out on Tommy, causing him to move back to Boston with T.J. Although Jane was sad that Tommy's marriage didn't work out, she was thrilled to have her brother and nephew back, especially since it meant Charlotte would get to grow up playing with her cousin on a regular basis instead of only seeing him on holidays.

The month long trip to Paris was, of course, Maura's idea. Her editor told her that her novel was a little flat, so she thought finishing it in France, where it took place, would help her bring it to life. She also thought it would be nice for their little family of three to get away for a while. They had come to Paris on New Year's Eve, just in time to see the fireworks. Jane now spent her days following Maura to every corner of Paris that Maura wanted to show her, playing with Charlotte while Maura wrote, and reading what Maura wrote while Maura played with Charlotte. She spent her nights making love to Maura while Charlotte slept and the Paris skyline glowed outside their windows. She knew she'd miss the rest of her family eventually, but for now, she kind of wanted this vacation to go on forever.

This afternoon, Maura had dragged Jane and Charlotte down a narrow street where the raven-haired lady detective in her novel would find a dead body in a parked car. She wanted to make sure her description really popped, so she needed to find the perfect spot and then really take it all in so she could find the perfect words to describe it. Jane stood patiently in the cold, her coat zipped up over Charlotte in her baby carrier, while Maura spun around slowly and looked at the buildings looming over them.

"If you had to pick one word to describe this block, what would it be?" asked Maura.

"Claustrophobic," Jane said immediately.

"Why do you say that?"

"Look how narrow the street is! And the buildings are just sort of _right on_ the street. It's all pretty close. It's noticeably darker over here than it was over there, because the sun can't get through."

"Hmm. Yes, I should definitely say something about that in my description," Maura said thoughtfully.

"And the cars are parked bumper to bumper on one side of the street, and motorcycles on the other side. There's only one lane cars can actually drive in. Everything about this block is _claustrophobic_."

"Well, the cars are parked like that on every street."

"True. But will your readers who haven't been to Paris know that?"

Maura smiled. "I'll have to tell them."

"Good. So can we move on to one of Paris's more interesting streets? This might be a great place to dump a body, but there's not a whole lot for tourists to do here."

"First we need to go back to the hotel so I can rewrite the scene where they find the body while this is still fresh on my mind. This time I'm going to make it so detailed, the scene will just _jump_ off the page!" On the word "jump," she literally jumped at Jane. Charlotte cracked up. "Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" said Maura. She backed up and jumped again, causing Charlotte to laugh even harder, which of course made Jane and Maura laugh. So their entire walk to the nearest Metro station involved Maura hiding behind whatever she could—trees, lampposts, Jane herself—and jumping out at Charlotte so she would laugh. Neither she nor Jane cared how silly they looked; ever since Charlotte's first laugh six months ago, they had both been willing to do any ridiculous thing just to hear that delightful sound again.

Maura had gotten quite a bit of work done on the novel today. The story was really coming to life. Jane couldn't wait for it to be published, for the whole world to see what a genius her wife was. But even if no one else read it, Jane was still very proud of Maura. The woman never ceased to amaze, to find new things she was absolutely brilliant at. Jane's biggest accomplishment was simply marrying her.

Maura stirred in bed and mumbled Jane's name. Jane hurried back to her, shrugging out of the hotel bathrobe before sliding back under the blankets and cuddling up to her wife.

"Jane," said Maura sleepily, wriggling her way into Jane's arms. "Where did you go?"

"Just to the bathroom, and I checked on Charlotte while I was up. And I had to check out the view again."

Maura smiled. "It's so pretty, isn't it? I always wanted to bring you here. It's the most romantic city in the world."

"Mm. Speaking of which, are you going to give the detective in your novel a love interest?"

"Maybe in the next book, if there is another one. For the first book I want to stay focused on the murder mystery aspect. I don't want to distract readers with a romance right now."

"Well, when you _are_ ready to add romance, I know exactly what this detective's type would be."

"Oh really?"

"You described her as being tall and fierce with wild black hair. She definitely sounds like the type who would go for a brainy, blonde medical examiner."

Maura giggled. "I can't write a character based on my _self_."

"Why not? Other authors do it."

"It would make me feel sort of conceited. And I would have to be able to explain why someone like you would fall in love with someone like me."

"And that's difficult for you to understand?"

"A little."

"Really? I am clearly not doing my job if you don't understand why someone like me would be crazy in love with someone like you. Maybe I need to write you a poem." Back when she was still pregnant, Maura had an assignment for her creative writing class in which she had to write a poem, and she ended up writing what she loved about Jane.

Maura chuckled at the thought of Jane doing such a thing. "You don't need to write me a poem. You tell me every day why you love me; it's just hard for me to see it from your point of view. But it's not important right now. I just want to focus on finishing this first book."

"I was a good idea to come here," Jane said, fingering Maura's silky hair. "It's tempting to never go back. We could just stay here, not have to work, just be the three of us all the time. No one can bother us here."

Maura smiled. "It's tempting, but we have so many exciting things to do when we get home. Like planning Charlotte's first birthday party, finding a new house, and getting you pregnant!" Jane had volunteered to be the pregnant one the second time around, and they had agreed to get started with in vitro this spring, using Maura's four-year-old frozen eggs. They also wanted to move to a new house soon, because the one they were in did not have the best layout for a family of four.

"And publishing your book."

"And you get to start your internship!"

"I'm less excited about that. I mean, I'm sure I'll enjoy it, but I'm gonna miss being a cop. I _always_ wanted to be a cop."

Maura looked at her sympathetically. "I'm sure the BPD would take you back. You were one of the best detectives they ever had."

Jane shook her head. "This is the best thing for all of us. I was missing too much of Charlotte's life, and I'm much less likely to get a stalker who threatens my whole family in the new job."

Maura nodded and kissed her. "I'm very proud of you for doing what you believe is the right thing."

"Do you agree with me?"

"I trust you."

"That isn't the same thing."

"No. It's better. It means I don't know what the right thing is, but I believe you'll make the best decision." She touched Jane's face lightly. "I'm really going to miss working with you, but I'm glad you won't get shot at anymore. I _hated_ that."

"I used to actually like the adrenaline rush, but it's harder to enjoy when you have a wife and baby who need you to come home."

"Well whatever you do, you'll always be a cop to me. A detective. _My_ detective."

Jane kissed Maura's hand. "Then I guess I'm not really quitting, am I?"

Maura shook her head. "You're just moving on to the next great adventure."

"The next great adventure," said Jane. "Well, I've always enjoyed my adventures with you."

"Me too!" Maura grinned at her. "I can't wait to see what happens next."

 **Thank you for reading, everyone! It's been a lot of fun bringing Charlotte into the world! If you enjoyed this, check out the next installment, Facing the Shadows!**

 **I've now published a book based on With Child! Look at my profile for links!**


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